Seek to understand, so that you may be able to accept the events of your life with peace, rather than feeling compelled to let go with bitterness.
It’s the inclination to want to be heard that denies us peace when we’re not heard.
Or to want to be acknowledged when we are dismissed.
Rather than fight to be heard, or to be acknowledged, choose your battles.
Be sure that what you’re fighting for is what you want to have in your life, and not just because you refuse to go quietly.
When you find it impossible to get through, to make your point, or to establish reason, it’s a sign that you need to pause and understand better what it is that you’re dealing with.
When you pause to understand, you’ll allow yourself a chance to decide if the fight is worth it, and if it is, you’ll create space for yourself to recognise a better way to achieve your objective.
Like the prophetic advice teaches us, don’t get angry. The moment you find your anger rising, it’s a sign that you need to step back, and seek to understand better, before continuing to respond.
Peace.
#peace #conviction #understanding #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #motivation #zaidismail #authenticity #leadershipcoach #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness
Tag: selfawareness
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The understanding seeker
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Happy Father’s Day
Father’s day. It might be one day of the year for others, but for father’s, every day is father’s day.
For those father’s who had to figure it out by themselves.
For those who are prevented from being fathers.
For those who think that they’re not enough.
And of course, for those women who had to step in for the sperm donors that didn’t step up.
Every day is your day, because you understand why you’re blessed to be able to shape the characters of innocent souls to be the best version of you.
To the sperm donors who think that their insecurities, or their needs are more important than showing up, consistently, for their children, I pray that you realise what harm you’re causing for yourself, as well as those innocents, by wallowing in self-pity instead of owning your shit.
Happy father’s day. If you were blessed with a guiding hand, and gentle wisdom to prepare you for your role as a father, make this day a celebration of the one who gave you such a wonderful start in life.
And use your blessings to pay it forward. This world needs it.
#fathersday #parenting #father #mother #spermdonor #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #zaidismail #children #singleparenting #singledad -
Exhale. Peace is within reach.
Wisdom is the re-finding of innocence.
We’re born innocent, but then life happens.
Almost imperceptibly, our innocence wanes, and our disappointment in life replaces it.
Focused on remedying our justified gripes with this world, we lose sight of our innocence that once brought us peace.
Our life then becomes a struggle to regain that peace, sometimes further contaminating our innocence in that effort.
Until, one day, quite by chance, we realise that peace lies in reconnecting with our innocence.
And innocence lies in relinquishing our justified claim for justice or retribution.
Our path then shifts from striving for peace, and instead, discovering why life happened the way that it did.
In discovering the why, the disappointment and bitterness recedes, and the space once occupied by innocence becomes available once more.
Thus, innocence is allowed back in, not because we pursued it, but because we allowed it to return.
Exhale, beloved. The breath you’ve been holding in, waiting for justice, is better spent exhaling the toxins that cloud your heart.
Let your heart rise. It knows how. We just need to stop weighing it down with expectations of those whose growth is not aligned with our own.
Exhale, beloved. A breath of peace awaits you.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #beauty #gratitude #appreciation #zaidismail #authenticity #relationshipgoals #joy #mybeloved #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration -
Your perspective is your choice
Perspective is a choice, not an inheritance.
Improve your awareness of why you believe what you believe, and it will be possible to consciously choose what resonates with your personal value system, and discarding what doesn’t.
When we lose sight of why we hold the perspectives that we do, and those perspectives create a conflict within us, we feel an increase in stress and anger without always understanding why.
At those times, it’s easy to explain our emotional state by connecting it with our perspectives that are being challenged.
However, responding from a position of anger or defence because of a perceived attack on what we believe to be true is a defence mechanism.
We would have no reason to defend that which we believe is based on an objective truth.
The only way to achieve such a level of confidence in our perspectives and beliefs is by improving our self awareness, and thereby improving our ability to critically assess what we stand for, and why.
This will go a long way towards finding balance in life, and knowing which battles are worth fighting, and which are not.
#perspective #trust #truth #trustissues #beliefsystem #valuesystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #zaidismail -
Don’t let fear win
If you’ve been raised on a diet of fear and compliance, it is inevitable that your choices will reflect your fears, and not your dreams
Fear destroys hope and replaces it with futility.
In the face of futility, we resort to compliance, because compliance provides us with familiarity.
Familiarity tethers us to rituals, traditions, and behaviours that feed the cycle that sustains the power of fear.
That is, the cycle of compliance at all costs.
When compliance becomes the objective, blind following becomes the method, and critical thinking is set aside in favour of inclusion.
The need for inclusion destroys dreams, breaks hearts, and damages souls, leaving in its wake a field of martyrs who surrender their joy in the face of futility, not realising that it is fear that breeds futility, and not overwhelming odds.
Be courageous, brave soul. Self-imposed martyrdom is not the only path to peace. In fact, it defeats that very goal.
#courage #fear #compliance #tradition #inclusion #familyties #traumabonds #abusiverelationships #dreams #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #pursuitofhappiness #victimmentality #zaidismail #mybeloved -
Save yourself from regrets
I believe that among the great deathbed regrets will be the realisation that we never truly showed the world who we are.
It’s the what-ifs and if-onlys that cause more regret and heartache than any bad decision.
Bad decisions are made with good intentions, yet we always choose to remember the negative outcome, rather than celebrate our innocence and sincerity for trying.
We do this because we’re more focused on what others think of us, than we are about what we know to be true about ourselves.
This bias against ourselves is one of the roots with which ingratitude takes hold in our life.
When that happens, we become martyrs in our own mind, as we focus on everything that didn’t work out, while losing sight of the beauty and blessings that we have.
Living up to your convictions, despite society, is what will provide you with peace and fulfilment when you need it most.
That is, in those final moments when you look back at the sum total of your life and wonder if you made the best of it, or did you only focus on the worst of it?
Redefine what peace means to you. It is always beyond just the absence of disagreement or hostility. Peace lies in being true to yourself, and appreciating the opportunities for growth that such conviction creates in those around you.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #ownyourshit #embracingME #motivation #optimism #zaidismail #peace #deathbedregrets #death #companionship -
Saving my insanity
Sometimes I write to share my insanity, but sometimes I write to save it.
When everything about the world feels unnatural, sanity offers no relief.
Besides, like Vonnegut said, “A sane person, when compared to an insane society, will appear insane.”
I have often considered myself that lone voice of sanity, and in that assumption, I found myself to be insane.
Fulfilment lies in finding one who will embrace such insanity with me.
Despite the search being over, the insanity remains unfulfilled.
#sanity #insanity #reality #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #pursuitofhappiness #zaidismail #relationshipgoals #love #loss #fittingin -
Yearning for a simple life
Life is simple, but it’s not easy.
It becomes complicated when we look for the easy way out.
Doing the right thing is often complicated by our concern for the consequences with those around us.
The greater our emphasis on those consequences, the more complicated life becomes because we have that much more to consider before we hold true to our convictions.
Often, it’s the easiest way to lose sight of our convictions, or finding reason to compromise it until it becomes an empty shell of what we once believed to be sacred.
A simple life, by definition, would lack such complexity.
But in that lies the demand for courage and clarity of thought.
The clearer our thinking, the easier it is to muster up our courage.
Courage is therefore contaminated by an unhealthy fixation on potential outcomes.
Worse still, by preempting outcomes and changing our convictions to avoid conflict, we deny others the opportunity to grow by protecting them from the truth that we hold within us.
Thus, life threatens to be complicated, and unfulfilled, because what we express on the outside ceases to resonate on the inside.
And finally, this opens the door for a bitterness or regret that can no longer be expressed because we surrendered our peace for a painful compromise.
Hold on to your truth, and allow others the space to deal with the awkwardness of their insecurities as they slowly learn to embrace a new understanding.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #ownyourshit #embracingME #motivation #zaidismail #trust #truth #relationshipgoals #courage #authenticity
