Exhale

Breathing becomes laboured when I’m not sure if I want to hold something in, or let it out. Expressing my disappointment at the events that appear to be in an incessant loop feels like an indulgence in futility. I’ve expressed such disappointment before, yet, here we are. Staring each other in the face again. The…

Pursuit of servitude

I once asked myself a simple question when I left corporate to follow a new path. What do you do when you’re done with the world, but the world is not done with you? The two and a bit years that followed answered this question many times over, each time with an intensity greater than…

A walk…and a bit

I stepped on the treadmill today. It’s not my favourite pastime, but I did it anyway. At first, I recalled the time, many years ago, when I first attempted it and found myself winded in less than 3 minutes. I was still working in corporate. Life was lifeless, and purpose was found in servitude. I…

A bitter ache

Just as beauty is born of love, so too is bitterness born of loss. I wonder what of the troubles of this world is caused by broken hearts, rather than wilful greed? It is the sense of loss, or inadequacy in the eyes of those most cherished, that our worst behaviour comes to the fore….

Saving my insanity

Sometimes I write to share my insanity, but sometimes I write to save it. When everything about the world feels unnatural, sanity offers no relief. Besides, like Vonnegut said, “A sane person, when compared to an insane society, will appear insane.” I have often considered myself that lone voice of sanity, and in that assumption,…

Computing Loss

When others share their views or sentiments about tragic moments in my own life, it often overwhelms me more than the experience itself. Those first moments on hearing the bad news, or rationalising the loss left me feeling sombre, but not always overwhelmed with emotion. On many occasions I’ve been able to hold back the tears…