Life coaching is different from mainstream psychotherapy in that it focuses on outcomes, and not only problem identification. A skilled life coach will ensure that every session results in a notable shift in perspective or behaviour. The session will never be limited to only raising concerns or reflecting on past experiences. There must always be a valuable outcome from the session for the client.
How does life coaching work?
Through life coaching, it is possible to gain fresh perspectives into past experiences, and behaviours. This allows us to reconsider what we took from an experience, and provides us with critical insights into how our past is influencing our present, and therefore shaping our future. Rather than judging or labelling our behaviour, life coaching focuses understanding and re-framing. It is only through achieving an understanding of what shaped us to become who we are, that will enable us to embrace ourselves without the harsh self-judgement, or the need to protect ourselves from perceived threats.
My approach to life coaching draws on more than 15 years of experience in guiding people to overcome crippling self-doubt, or painful experiences from their early years.
While I am a certified Life Coach and NLP Practitioner, the NLP methods only serve as insights into the human psyche, it does not shape my approach to life coaching. My approach is adaptable relative to each client’s unique circumstances and level of understanding.
The greater our self-awareness, the less effective methods like NLP and CBT are in creating sustainable shifts in our way of thinking. Methods that encourage habits or subliminal shifts in consciousness are nothing more than coping mechanisms that leave the residual effects of the unresolved experiences beneath the surface.
Why coping mechanisms are a bad idea
Coping mechanisms are dangerous for many reasons. However, the most important of those reasons is that when we develop a reliance on a coping mechanism, that mechanism only remains effective within the context of the circumstances that allow it to be effective. The moment there is a significant change in our circumstances, or if it escalates in intensity, the coping mechanism fails, which leaves us with double-trouble.
Not only are we then faced with the impact of not being able to cope with our relied-upon coping mechanism, but we also face the reality of the original challenges that led to us needing the coping mechanism in the first place. To recover from this is possible, but it is significantly more difficult than not having depended upon a coping mechanism in the first place.
For this reason, I do not encourage the adoption of coping or defence mechanisms. Both are based on the false premise that we lack the ability to respond to, or to thrive without them. This is false. We are capable beyond measure, but we are also distracted beyond measure. My goal when coaching you is therefore to guide you towards seeing past the clutter of the distractions that were embraced over the years, and instead, to reconnect you with the essence of the power of who you are.
Once we embrace, with compassion and understanding, who we are and what shaped us, we are empowered to make conscious choices about who we wish to be, and most importantly, about what is no longer acceptable in our lives. This approach unleashes your true potential, rather than stifling your growth by distracting you with coping or defence mechanisms that will fail when life takes an unexpected turn.
Still not sure if life coaching is for you?
There is only a single requirement for life coaching to be effective for you. You must want to shift from where you are, towards where you want to be. How to achieve that shift is where your coach comes in by guiding you on that journey. Remember, coaching differs from mainstream psychotherapy in that it is focused on outcomes, and not only on identifying the problems and then leaving you to choose the solution by yourself. My unique approach to coaching is driven towards providing you with a deeper understanding of why you are who you are, so that you can consciously, according to your value system and not mine, who you want to be.
The reason I will avoid telling you how to live your life for better outcomes is because that would assume that you should respond in your life, the way that I would respond if I were living your life. That is simply unsustainable and will create a dependency where you’ll need to come back to me each time you encounter something new in your life.
An effective coach empowers you to own your life, not to be a client for life.
Need to know more?
Book your complementary introductory session using the below online booking form, and let’s explore, together, what will be the best way forward for you.