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Judging self into misery
When we internalise our struggle to the point of believing it to be so unique that it cannot possibly be grasped by anyone else, we give it a power of magnitude beyond the experience itself. Misery intensifies the more we dwell on it. When we live inside our heads, we convince ourselves that our struggle…
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Repost: Judging to be safe
Judgement is not always harsh. But, judgement is always focused on an external standard that we think others respect. Don’t under estimate how much this mindset causes problems in every sphere of our lives. Before throwing in the towel on that relationship, reconnect you with the reasons that gave you hope in the first place,…
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Navigating relationships – 4 of 5
The importance of having a healthy support structure cannot be over emphasised. Majority of relationships fail because support structures from one or both sides are focused on protecting their own from the assumed malicious intent of the other party, rather than trying to establish understanding between the couple, and supporting them towards building their relationship.…
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Judging bad behaviour
I have yet to meet someone who behaves poorly when they feel appreciated. Yet, we’re most often focused on the poor behaviour instead of their feeling of insignificance. The same is true for us. Our anger, bitterness, or rebellion is simply an expression intended to reclaim our significance when significant others treat us as if…
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We’re all searching for home
Remember, at some point someone also looked at you in your childhood and thought, “Damn, is this what the future looks like for humanity?” Our children have the best of us and the worst of us, and somewhere between those ends they form their own unique character. If you hope to understand them, you need…
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Seek understanding. Always.
If you find yourself judging, more than understanding, you’re filled with fear about the future. Not hope. Judgement is not always harsh. But, judgement is always focused on an external standard that we think others respect. External standards give us comfort because we don’t run the risk of making a bad decision by ourselves. If…
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Be what you need
In a world that is demanding attention all the time, it’s easy to get caught up in what we need from others while ignoring what they need from us. Our humanness is often celebrated for ourselves, but set aside in our expectations from others. We all need sympathy and compassion, but are hesitant to give…
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A Brain Dump
The short posts don’t allow for a meaningful purge of what rumbles inside my head. And there’s a lot of rumbling this morning. Having finally published my novel, the reactions I’ve noted along with the assumptions that people make about my reasons for doing so, are entertaining. I’ve always taken a morbid pleasure from watching…
