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You judge others as you judge yourself
Judgement is easy. Understanding, empathy, compassion…not so easy. It only gets easier when we are capable of treating ourselves with kindness. But that isn’t as easy as it sounds. In fact, many of our efforts at kindness are harmful because we’re distracted from recognising what prompts our deliberate acts of kindness. Towards ourselves, and towards…
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Judge as you wish to be judged
We speak from a position of privilege when we judge the failures of others within the context of what is possible for us. Even something as simple as the resolve we have, or the choices we made to rise above a challenge, comes from a place of assuming that our emotional resilience is the same…
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Repost: Judging to be safe
Judgement is not always harsh. But, judgement is always focused on an external standard that we think others respect. Don’t under estimate how much this mindset causes problems in every sphere of our lives. Before throwing in the towel on that relationship, reconnect you with the reasons that gave you hope in the first place,…
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Are you there for you?
We’re more inclined to recognise the needs of the weak, than we are of the strong. Without meaning to, we diminish the humanness of those who persevere without complaint, because they often make it look so easy. When we’re the strong ones persevering without complaint, we risk diminishing our own humanness as well, because we…
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Selfish concern
I don’t like labels, but this is the equivalent of toxic positivity, where we try to be positive while diminishing the experience of the one experiencing difficulties. I once saw someone experiencing a breakdown at the side of the road. Stuck in the middle of nowhere, oil running out of their engine, it was obvious…
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Dehumanising the human
Don’t become so fixated on labelling yours, or the behaviour of others, that you lose sight of the human struggle behind that behaviour. Labels make it easier for us to deal with stuff. The moment we give it a name, we can manage our expectations around it. This is fine when it comes to abstract…
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Good vs bad manipulation
Sometimes we choose to maintain the peace by giving of ourselves despite not wanting to. Sometimes, we don’t want to deal with the upheaval that follows not doing what someone wants, so we do it anyway. Sometimes, we’re afraid of the repercussions of not complying, so we comply despite not believing in what we’re doing.…
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More ways to destroy trust…
Our consideration of trust is often limited to promises or follow through on something that was clearly agreed with another. However, trust is broken in many ways, most of which are subtle and often unintended. It’s these subtle breaches that leave us seething with anger or raging with tears while not knowing how to connect…
