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Who’s draining your joy?
Avoidance requires distractions, and distractions are exhausting. We don’t always avoid the truth because we want to. In fact, most often, it’s because we’re persisting in what we believe to be true that causes us to ignore the reality that we’re facing. Like investing in someone who is at war with themselves. Or expecting opportunities…
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Own your misery
Miserable are the ones who compete with their companions, and then go searching for companionship among those that will ruin them. Self-pity and self-loathing are the marks of ingratitude that turn your greatest supporters into your greatest distractions. All because you think that they see the inadequacy and shame with which you view yourself. That’s…
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Self-pity is never a recommendation
When we go out searching for safe spaces in which to grow, we’re more invested in hiding the shame that we feel about ourselves, than we are in growing. Rather than focusing on pushing ourselves into spaces that are uncomfortable, we need to focus on why we feel such shame to begin with. Shame doesn’t…
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Are you there for you?
We’re more inclined to recognise the needs of the weak, than we are of the strong. Without meaning to, we diminish the humanness of those who persevere without complaint, because they often make it look so easy. When we’re the strong ones persevering without complaint, we risk diminishing our own humanness as well, because we…
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A path to insanity
We work with the assumption that our partners and our children share the same values that we try to uphold in our lives. This is rarely true. While we may share the same frame of reference or even the same cultural norms, values are much more personal, and therefore unique. Our personal value systems are…
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That self-loathing demon
Ingratitude for the self is reflected in how much time we spend self-loathing. But self-loathing is disguised in many creative ways. The above list of 10 common points is only the tip of the iceberg. Self-loathing is rarely, if ever, a result of our current circumstances, and almost always a result of how we felt…
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I see me in you
We judge others the way we judge ourselves. The less aware we are of our self-judgement, the more rigid we will be in insisting on the accuracy of our assumptions about others. The more compassionate and understanding we are in our efforts to improve ourselves, the more space we’ll allow for others to recover from…
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Dishonesty, the destroyer
The profundity of the verse from the Qur’an that says that if you are grateful, Allah will increase you, resonates strongly through every theme of life. It is through gratitude that good is created, harm is kept at bay, and we are connected to what feeds our soul. Therefore, what destroys good must be the…
