A path to insanity

We work with the assumption that our partners and our children share the same values that we try to uphold in our lives.

This is rarely true.

While we may share the same frame of reference or even the same cultural norms, values are much more personal, and therefore unique.

Our personal value systems are shaped by what we take from life.

Note, what we take, not what we’re taught.

Our teachings form the frame of reference within which we live our lives.

However, what we place emphasis and priority on, and what flexibility we allow ourselves within that frame of reference is what shapes our unique value system.

For this reason, two siblings raised in the same home under the same rules of discipline, and with the same privilege and emotional access to their parents may adopt very different values because of what they assumed to be true about the motives or sincerity of their parents towards them.

The difference between the two is self-worth.

The important thing about self-worth is that it’s about how we feel about ourselves, and not how someone else feels about us.

No matter how much we convince ourselves that we feel how we feel because of how someone else treats us, it doesn’t change this fact.

Self-worth is about how we feel about ourselves.

How we develop this sense of self is a complex process that can change with life experiences, but until we’re aware of what we allow to influence how we feel about ourselves, we’ll blame the world for our unhappiness or misery.

It is this that we must bear in mind when we try to rationalise the behaviour of others when it conflicts with the value system that we thought we shared.

Self-worth or self-loathing is what makes the difference between authenticity and selling ourselves short to gain validation.

It always starts with you.

#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #parenting #singleparenting #pursuitofhappiness

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