Gratitude is all that matters, because gratitude is not possible without everything that matters coming before it.
Gratitude escapes us when we don’t respect the effort needed to achieve anything worth achieving.
It escapes us when we assume that we’re entitled to an outcome, without considering our contribution that is needed towards that outcome.
It escapes us when we take for granted what we have, because we’re always focused on what we don’t have.
To appreciate the effort, the struggle, or the commitment needed to create anything of value, we need to first recognise the sacrifice, the hard work, the consistency, and the commitment needed to develop the skills to gather the resources needed to achieve it.
For this reason, we all have something that we give to others for which they should be grateful, but sadly, we cannot insert gratitude into their hearts for it.
We can only contribute the best of who we are, and appreciate why we may not always be appreciated.
We cannot give what we don’t have. The ungrateful one lacks gratitude for who they are and what they have.
Expecting gratitude from such a being is therefore foolhardy, no matter how significant they may be in your life.
#gratitude #appreciation #hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #ownyourshit #embracingME #motivation #zaidismail #authenticity #leadershipcoach #optimism
Tag: ownyourlife
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Gratitude is not the first step
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The absent parent
Even an absent parent is still parenting.
It’s then on the shoulders of the present one to compensate for that.
Sometimes, the absence of someone has a greater impact on us than the presence of others.
This is especially true for parenting.
The absent parent leaves the child with feelings of abandonment, insignificance, and a low self-esteem, to name a few.
Worse still, it tortures them with the hope that it could be better if only…while distracting them from embracing the life and love that they have.
It’s that unfulfilled hope and the failed expectations that become the burden of the parent who is present, who is still committed to the wholesome development of the child, to mitigate the impact of that negative influence.
While it’s true that the children suffer, not enough is done to recognise the impact on the single parent.
Because the human is often forgotten behind the role or the label that we assign to them.
#parenting #singleparenting #children #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #zaidismail #divorce #marriage -
Invest purposefully in your life
Invest in creating the life that you want, rather than escaping the life that you don’t want.
It might sound obvious, but take a breather and consider what drives your choices.
Are you driven by the need to avoid unpleasant encounters in your life?
Or are you driven by the need to create encounters that connect with your soul?
The difference has a profound effect on your sense of peace and well being.
Things only thrive if we nurture it. Nurturing is not always an act of kindness.
Sometimes, nurturing is feeding a toxic cycle without realising it, or validating untoward behaviour by actively engaging with it.
Emotional mindfulness connects you with the present moment so that you may make more informed investments about the outcomes of your life.
*Connect with me to find out how I can help you to achieve this. Video sessions available at very reasonable rates.
#hope #expectation #authenticity #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #pursuitofhappiness #zaidismail -
The understanding seeker
Seek to understand, so that you may be able to accept the events of your life with peace, rather than feeling compelled to let go with bitterness.
It’s the inclination to want to be heard that denies us peace when we’re not heard.
Or to want to be acknowledged when we are dismissed.
Rather than fight to be heard, or to be acknowledged, choose your battles.
Be sure that what you’re fighting for is what you want to have in your life, and not just because you refuse to go quietly.
When you find it impossible to get through, to make your point, or to establish reason, it’s a sign that you need to pause and understand better what it is that you’re dealing with.
When you pause to understand, you’ll allow yourself a chance to decide if the fight is worth it, and if it is, you’ll create space for yourself to recognise a better way to achieve your objective.
Like the prophetic advice teaches us, don’t get angry. The moment you find your anger rising, it’s a sign that you need to step back, and seek to understand better, before continuing to respond.
Peace.
#peace #conviction #understanding #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #motivation #zaidismail #authenticity #leadershipcoach #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness -
Happy Father’s Day
Father’s day. It might be one day of the year for others, but for father’s, every day is father’s day.
For those father’s who had to figure it out by themselves.
For those who are prevented from being fathers.
For those who think that they’re not enough.
And of course, for those women who had to step in for the sperm donors that didn’t step up.
Every day is your day, because you understand why you’re blessed to be able to shape the characters of innocent souls to be the best version of you.
To the sperm donors who think that their insecurities, or their needs are more important than showing up, consistently, for their children, I pray that you realise what harm you’re causing for yourself, as well as those innocents, by wallowing in self-pity instead of owning your shit.
Happy father’s day. If you were blessed with a guiding hand, and gentle wisdom to prepare you for your role as a father, make this day a celebration of the one who gave you such a wonderful start in life.
And use your blessings to pay it forward. This world needs it.
#fathersday #parenting #father #mother #spermdonor #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #zaidismail #children #singleparenting #singledad -
Your perspective is your choice
Perspective is a choice, not an inheritance.
Improve your awareness of why you believe what you believe, and it will be possible to consciously choose what resonates with your personal value system, and discarding what doesn’t.
When we lose sight of why we hold the perspectives that we do, and those perspectives create a conflict within us, we feel an increase in stress and anger without always understanding why.
At those times, it’s easy to explain our emotional state by connecting it with our perspectives that are being challenged.
However, responding from a position of anger or defence because of a perceived attack on what we believe to be true is a defence mechanism.
We would have no reason to defend that which we believe is based on an objective truth.
The only way to achieve such a level of confidence in our perspectives and beliefs is by improving our self awareness, and thereby improving our ability to critically assess what we stand for, and why.
This will go a long way towards finding balance in life, and knowing which battles are worth fighting, and which are not.
#perspective #trust #truth #trustissues #beliefsystem #valuesystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #zaidismail -
Don’t let fear win
If you’ve been raised on a diet of fear and compliance, it is inevitable that your choices will reflect your fears, and not your dreams
Fear destroys hope and replaces it with futility.
In the face of futility, we resort to compliance, because compliance provides us with familiarity.
Familiarity tethers us to rituals, traditions, and behaviours that feed the cycle that sustains the power of fear.
That is, the cycle of compliance at all costs.
When compliance becomes the objective, blind following becomes the method, and critical thinking is set aside in favour of inclusion.
The need for inclusion destroys dreams, breaks hearts, and damages souls, leaving in its wake a field of martyrs who surrender their joy in the face of futility, not realising that it is fear that breeds futility, and not overwhelming odds.
Be courageous, brave soul. Self-imposed martyrdom is not the only path to peace. In fact, it defeats that very goal.
#courage #fear #compliance #tradition #inclusion #familyties #traumabonds #abusiverelationships #dreams #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #pursuitofhappiness #victimmentality #zaidismail #mybeloved -
Save yourself from regrets
I believe that among the great deathbed regrets will be the realisation that we never truly showed the world who we are.
It’s the what-ifs and if-onlys that cause more regret and heartache than any bad decision.
Bad decisions are made with good intentions, yet we always choose to remember the negative outcome, rather than celebrate our innocence and sincerity for trying.
We do this because we’re more focused on what others think of us, than we are about what we know to be true about ourselves.
This bias against ourselves is one of the roots with which ingratitude takes hold in our life.
When that happens, we become martyrs in our own mind, as we focus on everything that didn’t work out, while losing sight of the beauty and blessings that we have.
Living up to your convictions, despite society, is what will provide you with peace and fulfilment when you need it most.
That is, in those final moments when you look back at the sum total of your life and wonder if you made the best of it, or did you only focus on the worst of it?
Redefine what peace means to you. It is always beyond just the absence of disagreement or hostility. Peace lies in being true to yourself, and appreciating the opportunities for growth that such conviction creates in those around you.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #ownyourshit #embracingME #motivation #optimism #zaidismail #peace #deathbedregrets #death #companionship
