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The past sucks eggs
Life sucks when we take our experiences with others from the past and project it onto the relationship that we have with someone in our present. Sadly, this applies to all relationships, not just marriage or romantic partnerships. It applies to the parent-child relationship as much as it applies to spouses. Especially in times when…
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Embrace your demons
Relationships fail when the demons of both don’t play nicely with each other. But demons are not so easy to recognise. What feels like a right or a legitimate expectation is often underpinned by a demon from the past when those rights were denied, or those expectations dismissed. Our innate need to be of significance…
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Too good to be true
I’m often asked why is it that someone with a solid self-worth can have their sense of self totally destroyed by a bad relationship. This is why. Despite our best intentions, placing someone on a pedestal is never a good idea. Not only will it blind us to their humanness, it will also distract us…
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Pitying yourself into oblivion
Self-pity is an indulgence in futility that results from picking at our wounds long after the betrayal from another has passed. Waiting for someone to care about us before we care for ourselves is not about needing them to care as much as it is about us wanting them to see how important they are…
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Bitter sweet arrogance
Arrogance is a result of insecurity that is presented as unwarranted confidence. While it’s easier to focus on the harshness that results from such behaviour, it’s more important to remember that only an insecure person will have a need to demand significance through arrogant behaviour. Arrogance serves as a distraction from our harsh self-judgement. If…
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Enabling abuse
We often believe in others the way we wish they would believe in us. Sometimes, when we give up hope in someone believing in us, we find it that much more difficult to believe in others. It’s these same emotional commitments that drive us toward making excuses for bad behaviour from someone close to us.…
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Conveniently judgemental
Judgement is only ever supposed to be the first step in correcting what’s wrong. Sadly, it’s most often the only step that we take when faced with unbecoming behaviour from others. Worse still, judgement is easy to dish out about issues and incidents that are none of our business because having an opinion on something…
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How much are you worth?
When your behaviour is driven by how others treat you, the good times become dull, and the bad times become dreary. It might seem endearing to focus on how others treat you so that you can return the favour if they’re being sweet or kind, but that means that you are not being true to…
