Respect is not earned

The old saying of ‘respect is earned’ robs you of self respect and replaces it with entitlement.

How we treat others is a reflection of who we are, not who they are.

Our ability to self regulate our offering of respect to those who may treat us badly is a reflection of how much we need them to treat us well before we feel good about who we are.

In other words, the less grounded we are in who we are, the more likely it is that others will impact our moods, our temper, and our overall emotional wellbeing.

Trust, on the other hand, is earned through consistency of effort about what’s important.

Trust cannot be negotiated or contracted.

If we have reason to doubt someone showing up for us, we won’t trust that they will.

That reason is sometimes because of them being unreliable, but is also often because of how someone else in the past may have disappointed us or betrayed our trust when we needed a similar thing from them. Like comfort, support, or just being there for us.

If we go through life trusting recklessly while withholding respect to those who, in our eyes, don’t deserve it, we will find ourselves reeling from betrayal long after it has passed while disrespecting those who don’t understand our pain.

Problem is, even we won’t understand our pain, so we’ll never be able to communicate it in ways that will allow those close to us to understand why we’re raging.

It all starts with self respect and self worth.

Without that, you will need others to treat you well before you treat yourself well.

Own your life.

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