The past sucks eggs

Life sucks when we take our experiences with others from the past and project it onto the relationship that we have with someone in our present.

Sadly, this applies to all relationships, not just marriage or romantic partnerships.

It applies to the parent-child relationship as much as it applies to spouses.

Especially in times when we have a high prevalence of failed marriages, this plays out in the aftermath of such breakdowns of the home as children grapple with their place between their separated parents, and ex-spouses struggle to find a balance of power in their efforts to co-parent.

A lot of life is wasted as we rage about what we believe to be our justified anger at what happened in the past.

Sometimes, we’re so convinced that we have good reason to rage at what is happening in the present that we don’t notice that it is because of a past experience that the present one incites such rage within us.

The focus should never only be on why we have reason to be angry or to feel hurt.

More importantly, we must focus on whether the intensity of rage or hurt is understandable relative to the current situation.

When we do this, we stand a chance of focusing on resolving the current problem rather than contaminating it further because of how it reminds us of how we were treated badly in the past.

If you don’t own your contribution towards the current problems that you face, you will be owned by the demons of someone else’s past.

It always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #theegosystem #ownyourlife #marriagecounseling #divorce

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