You cannot not have expectations

The advice to live life without expectations to avoid disappointment is disturbingly misleading.

If you’re striving to achieve this state of having no expectations of anyone, please stop.

When we convince ourselves that we should not expect anything from others, we also have to convince ourselves that they should not expect anything from us.

If that’s who you want to be, then prepare yourself for an isolated and lonely life where you are singularly responsible for everything that you want or need.

Any rational person knows that it’s impossible to live that way.

Expectations are fundamental to a healthy relationship.

Without it, there is no need for trust or loyalty because we expect nothing from anyone, so they’re all free to do as they please, right?

What cements a relationship is trusting that you can expect a significant other to show up for you the way that you need.

What convinces us of our worth to others is when they take comfort from knowing that we’re there for them. That’s an expectation that they have of us.

Focusing on not having expectations is a defence mechanism in response to having had our trust betrayed by someone close to us.

It’s an attempt to protect ourselves from ever being hurt that way again, resulting in us hurting others who had nothing to do with that betrayal.

If you don’t resolve that problem of how and why you felt betrayed, because betrayal is very often how we feel about someone’s behaviour rather than them actively trying to betray us, you will create a whole lot of new problems that you never intended to create.

By all means, be selective about who you expect things from in the same way that you shouldn’t trust every person that crosses your path.

Trust is earned, while respect is a reflection of who you are.

Confuse the two, or assume they’re the same, and life will become very complicated and onerous.

Don’t take advice from memes. Rather consider it as a point of reflection before acting on it.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #theegosystem #ownyourlife

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