-
Labelling humans
We dehumanise the human when we label their emotional experience as an illness. The moment we attach a label to a life experience, we focus on the label and discard the merits of the experience. We make people invisible when we deny the reality of their experience by suggesting that there is something clinically wrong…
-
You cannot not have expectations
The advice to live life without expectations to avoid disappointment is disturbingly misleading. If you’re striving to achieve this state of having no expectations of anyone, please stop. When we convince ourselves that we should not expect anything from others, we also have to convince ourselves that they should not expect anything from us. If…
-
A peaceful fight
Insanity is subjective. So is truth. The less we remember this, the more likely it is that we will oppress. To pass judgement without understanding reflects our insanity. To restrain judgement until we reach understanding reflects our search for truth. These two positions define the efforts of our days and the contemplations of our nights.…
-
The meandering twists of fate
Betrayal is not always a result of harsh words, lies, or cruel action. We’re often so focused on what we’re not getting from others, that we don’t pause to consider what they may not be getting from us either. The deepest cuts are those that are inflicted when we trust someone to be there, but…
-
Surviving sucks
I see too many people take pride in being a survivor, which in itself is not the biggest problem. The problem arises when that act of survival defines you for the rest of your life. When a traumatic event, or an abusive relationship, defines you beyond the immediate impact of experiencing it, you keep it…
-
You judge others as you judge yourself
Judgement is easy. Understanding, empathy, compassion…not so easy. It only gets easier when we are capable of treating ourselves with kindness. But that isn’t as easy as it sounds. In fact, many of our efforts at kindness are harmful because we’re distracted from recognising what prompts our deliberate acts of kindness. Towards ourselves, and towards…
-
Trading in human suffering
When we set out to give someone a voice or to create a platform for them, we create a crutch for them. Just like our voice is ours to claim, so is theirs. When we slip into silence, usually from self-pity, we allow others to speak on our behalf, and then complain if they don’t…