Tag: selflove

  • Live, and let die…

    Live, and let die…

    Sometimes, our setbacks in life can feel as if our world is coming to an end.

    In many ways, it does spell the end of a lifetime for us because we reach points where everything that we know to be true comes under question.

    Major life events like health issues that compromise our quality of life, divorce, death, or even losing a job all carry with it an impact that could easily derail all our hopes and dreams for the future.

    Choosing to hold on to the hurt, or the pain, or the sense of loss from such experiences doesn’t change the reality that it brought with it.

    Instead, holding on denies us the opportunity to grow from such experiences, and to continue to build that life that we set out to achieve.

    But what is there to learn from bad experiences?

    More than the lessons that it taught us about the shortcomings in decisions that we may have made, it is only in the presence of pain that the depth of joy can be appreciated.

    It is only through loss that we learn to appreciate what can be lost when we have it.

    When we experience loss or tragedy, or even disappointment and betrayal at the hands of others where we have no control over the outcomes despite our best efforts, we must recognise that it is a moment of grounding that will reshape what we take from life from that moment forward.

    If we’re not aware of the good that we can take, we will remain invested in the bitterness of the experience as we convince ourselves that remembering is the only way to protect ourselves from feeling such pain ever again.

    No. Remembering beyond the lesson learnt doesn’t protect us from such pain in future, it simply holds on to the pain of the past and denies us a future without it.

    Embrace the good, learn from the bad, and appreciate the present.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Take stock, and reconnect

    Take stock, and reconnect

    Stepping back and taking stock requires more than just an arrest of the ego.

    It requires a desire to return to a point of sincerity and authenticity in our lives when we were filled with hope about the future, after finding ourselves filled with a longing for the past instead.

    Arresting the ego becomes easier if we believe that what we stand to gain is more valuable than having to swallow our pride.

    But sometimes, pride is all that defines us.

    If you find yourself in that space, know that you’ve abandoned your true self in favour of how you wish to be perceived by others.

    Sometimes, pride pushes us to follow through on a bad decision because it sucks to give our enemies something to mock us about.

    You know what sucks more?

    Living a crappy life because you didn’t want to give your enemies a single moment to mock a bad decision.

    Own Your Shit. Own Your Life.

  • Failure is not a group sport

    Failure is not a group sport

    When you find reason to sit back and lick the wounds of your ego, remember this.

    No one will ever be as invested in your success as you are.

    The sooner you own your life, the sooner you’ll be able to enrich the lives of those around you.

    It’s easier to fail collectively, than to fail alone.

    Setting out on a path of your own demands a level of courage and conviction that is erased from your life when you live according to the whims and weaknesses of those around you.

    Too often we lack the courage to stand strong when we go against the grain, and then blame family or society for not supporting us in our wishes to change the world.

    Turn your wishes into action or else accept that you are defined by your fears and not your convictions.

    Resisting this reality will negatively affect your health and your happiness.

  • A healthy self esteem is the greatest gift

    A healthy self esteem is the greatest gift

    I believe that the greatest gift we can give our children is a healthy self-esteem.

    Without it, they’ll seek affirmation from the worst sources in their quest to feel appreciated.

    The greatest skill they can acquire is that of observation, which in turn, develops their critical thinking skills.

    Without it, they’ll struggle to tell truth from falsehood, sincerity from insincerity, and reality from deception.

    The greatest characteristic would be modesty. Because when modesty is gone, we can do as we please because the consequences have no bearing on our conscience and renders dignity and self respect irrelevant.

    This is important…especially in light of the masses of failed adults that have abandoned their responsibilities towards their children and their families.

    We have failed humanity, which is why this world is in the disastrous state that it’s in.

    The only way to change it is to make sure that we don’t pass the failings of our generation onto the next generation.

    If you’re reading this, I hope you’re doing right by your family first, and then your extended family, and then society.

    If not, today is a good day to start.

    #mentoring

  • Be gentle

    Be gentle

    Chances are very good that your harshness or cruelty is directed at the wrong person.

    Unfortunately, you’ll only realise this after the damage is done.

    Cruelty, like anger, is most often expressed to those weaker than us, even though we experience it at the hands of those stronger than us.

    Sadly, it is paid forward more often than gratitude or kindness.

    The need for vengeance to reclaim our power drives us more to action than the perception of weakness that accompanies a gentle spirit.

    Needing vengeance is a sign of a low self esteem because we are more concerned with how others perceive us, than how we perceive ourselves.

    For this reason there are no bad people in this world, only weak ones.

    Don’t be weak.

    Being gentle requires a strength of character that too few have mastered.

    Be gentle.

  • Be more than your past

    Be more than your past

    Like they say, every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

    Your past will only ever define your future if you allow it.

    They also say that the past may be blemished, but the future is still perfect.

    There is a reality between all this idealism that we can’t escape, and that is the impact of the poor decisions that we may have made before.

    But don’t let that define any more than your accountability to make it right.

    And you must make it right or else you drag your past with you into the future.

    Make amends as best as you can, and focus on the road ahead.

    Those that support you must be cherished on that journey, and those that don’t must be respected because we can never dictate to others how they must accept or forgive our past mistakes.

    Just because we may have chosen to move on doesn’t mean that they are ready to do the same.

    Accept this, and be better. You can’t change your past, but you can redefine who you want to be in future.

  • Don’t be your own enemy

    Don’t be your own enemy

    You undermine yourself when you doubt your ability to accomplish something for no reason other than fear.

    When you allow the uninformed opinions of others, or their disrespect to define how you feel about yourself, you undermine yourself.

    When you settle for less because you believe you’re unworthy of better, you undermine yourself.

    Each time you shy away from being who you believe you are capable of being, you undermine yourself.

    If you find yourself doing these things, don’t complain when you feel like you’re being taken for granted.

    You’ve effectively told others that it’s OK because of the way you treat yourself.

    Treat yourself with kindness and commitment before you can expect others to do the same.

  • Don’t blame destiny

    Don’t blame destiny

    Most often, it is our belief in what we deserve that limits us more than what we actually deserve or are capable of achieving.

    It’s like waiting up all night to witness an amazing sunrise only to give up as the first streaks of dawn appear and then convince ourselves that it was our destiny not to see the sunrise.

    No. Destiny is the sum total of the choices that you make with the opportunities that present themselves to you.

    If you’re too distracted to notice those opportunities, or lack the courage to embrace it, that’s your choice, not destiny.

    Destiny is blamed for more failures than our failure to act.