Tag: fate

  • Fallacious philosophies

    Fallacious philosophies

    This is incorrect on many levels. Most importantly, it suggests that our thoughts inspire the actions of others.

    That is patently incorrect.

    It also suggests that if we focus on positivity, we’re guaranteed to attract positivity.

    That is dangerously incorrect.

    We all wear masks of some kind.

    When someone offers us an opportunity to fill the gaps in our lives that those masks are intended to hide, we are attracted to them, and vice versa.

    A healing spirit will attract a hurt soul, and hurt souls often attract the generosity of a healing spirit.

    But that doesn’t mean that the one that is hurt will choose to be healed.

    Many find comfort in the affection and care that their hurt attracts.

    When that comfort defines their self worth, they will respond aggressively when expected to rise above it, or encouraged to heal from it.

    That’s when the masks fail them and the relationship breaks down.

    This law of attraction thinking is a fallacy that will harm more than it will heal.

    Be careful of what philosophy you buy into.

  • A destined misery…or is it?

    A destined misery…or is it?

    Are you sightseeing while wishing that what you see could be your reality?

    Most often, it is our belief in what we deserve that limits us more than what we actually deserve or are capable of achieving.

    In fact, considering what we deserve or don’t deserve is a distraction most likely grounded in self-pity or entitlement, neither of which changes reality.

    Couple that with resigning your fate to destiny and you have a recipe for misery.

    It’s like waiting up all night to witness an amazing sunrise only to give up as the first streaks of dawn appear, followed by convincing ourselves that it was our destiny not to see the sunrise.

    No. Destiny is the sum total of the choices that you make with the opportunities that present themselves to you.

    If you’re too distracted to notice those opportunities, or lack the courage to embrace it, that’s your choice, not destiny.

    The only thing that can reasonably be blamed on destiny is the consequences that affect us of the bad decisions that others make.

    Likewise, they are confronted with the fateful outcomes of our poor decisions, or our inaction to improve things.

    How we respond to that which is out of our control is a reflection of who we are and what we value about life.

    Don’t settle for less and then blame the world for not treating you fairly, or for not allowing you to have the life that you want.

    You only accept or pursue that which you believe you deserve, or that which is safe for you to pursue when you’re distracted by what others think of you.

    That’s why most of us settle for the dawn because we believe that we’re undeserving of the majestic sunrise.

    It always starts with you.

    Not with destiny.

  • Do you appreciate you?

    Do you appreciate you?

    When we surrender to what we believe was preordained for us, we give up our ability to influence its outcomes.

    That giving up creates a self-fulfilling prophecy by allowing things to progress in its current path without any effort to disrupt it, convincing us that we were right about it being preordained.

    For this reason, we sometimes allow relationships to degrade to a point of no return because we were convinced that our input or contribution would not change what appeared to be inevitable.

    Gratitude is critical in this process.

    Not gratitude for what we have when we’re faced with loss, but gratitude for what we are capable of when faced with challenges.

    Sometimes, when you take yourself for granted during your moments of ease, you’ll find yourself forced to dig deep and connect with who you are in moments of strife.

    That period of taking yourself for granted is what contributed in some meaningful way towards the strife that followed.

    While we will never know with certainty what to expect from others, we must connect with mindfulness to what the consequences of our choices are, or will be.

    This mindfulness is only possible when we acknowledge the value of who we are.

    That acknowledgement is the root of gratitude, or ingratitude, depending on whether we appreciate who we are, or judge ourselves harshly for supposedly not being good enough.

    You cannot nurture, maintain, or grow something if you don’t connect with the value that it offers.

    Thus, when you lack gratitude for who you are and what positive attributes and traits you possess, you will be incapable of contributing meaningfully towards the upliftment of your life and the lives of those around you.

    That is how the victim mindset slowly sets in, leaving us to believe that our struggle is a definition of our strength and perseverance, while not realising how much of it is in fact self-imposed because of ingratitude.

    It always starts with you.

  • Positive thinking fallacies

    Positive thinking fallacies

    Important reminder from the archives…

    There is much harm in this widespread acceptance of the so-called power cf positive thinking.

    Most importantly, it suggests that our thoughts inspire the actions of others.

    That is patently incorrect.

    It also suggests that if we focus on positivity, we’re guaranteed to attract positivity.

    That is dangerously incorrect.

    We all wear masks of some kind.

    When someone offers us an opportunity to fill the gaps in our lives that those masks are intended to hide, we are attracted to them, and vice versa.

    A healing spirit will attract a hurt soul, and hurt souls often attract the generosity of a healing spirit.

    But that doesn’t mean that the one that is hurt will choose to be healed.

    Many find comfort in the affection and care that their hurt attracts.

    When that comfort defines their self worth, they will respond aggressively when expected to rise above it, or encouraged to heal from it.

    That’s when the masks fail them and the relationship breaks down.

    This law of attraction thinking is a fallacy that will harm more than it will heal.

    It’s not accurate to say that what we’re focused on is what we will notice.

    If you’re looking for what’s right in your life, you’ll connect with it and nurture it. And if you’re looking for what’s wrong, you’ll see all of it and grow despondent from it.

    Be careful of what philosophy you buy into.

  • Who is that voice in your head?

    Who is that voice in your head?

    There are signs in everything, if only we paid attention, or reflected deeply enough on it.

    It’s like noticing all the cars on the road that are similar to your own.

    You may also notice cars that you really dislike, and cars that you love.

    But do you notice cars that don’t interest you in any meaningful way?

    No. Those, we navigate around as objects or obstacles in our efforts to get to our destination.

    The same is true about everything else in life.

    We notice that which feeds our interest in what we’re trying to achieve.

    Convinced that your partner is annoying? You’ll recognise every annoying habit and you’ll dismiss every endearing quality.

    Convinced that you’re not good enough? You’ll doubt every sincere gesture, and you’ll hold onto every criticism.

    You’ll even selectively interpret things the way that you want it to fit into your belief about what is true.

    That’s how we convince ourselves that the universe is sending us a sign.

    It’s not. We’re looking for the evidence of what we want to believe is true.

    Hence the importance of being mindful. Not just of what’s going on around you, but especially being mindful of what’s going on within you.

    It always starts with you.

  • The quick sand of my mind

    The quick sand of my mind

    The icy breaths that leave my mouth on a miserably cold morning is the only accurate reflection of the emotions that stir within.

    I see messages proclaiming that love is the answer to the world’s problems, but they don’t realise that most don’t know how to love. It’s the arrogance of the assumption that if we had it, they must have had it too.

    I met a calloused soul today. One who was so steeped in her victim-hood, that she couldn’t grasp her contribution towards the destruction of an innocent soul. So vile was her gaul, that she stepped forward uninvited to offer comfort towards the crushed innocent, completely oblivious to her contribution towards the state in which she found the little one.

    Such is the dementia of those who believe themselves to be above reproach because they didn’t actively participate in the abuse of the meek, but only sat quietly on the sidelines observing it play out, waiting patiently for their moment to leech significance by offering comfort to the one whom they abandoned in their moment of need.

    The bile rises to my throat, desperately wanting to clothe such contemptuous beings in the only fluid capable of digesting their caustic character. But my desire to be distanced from such hair-encrusted soap scum leaves me seething in my efforts to maintain my composure, torn between wanting to shake some sense into them, while simultaneously convulsing at the thought of touching them.

    This world is not big enough to create enough distance between me and them, with death offering the only path to peace.

    Sometimes, the most expensive lessons we learn in life are a result of trusting the wrong person. Once more, as I contemplate this reality, I find myself repulsed by those who cast frivolous quotes into the ether of blind optimism and toxic positivity, believing foolishly that doing the right thing will only yield positive results.

    If this torturous world was so easily subdued through the persistence of a positive thought, why then do so many innocents destroy themselves in search of such goodness? Why then are the starving still hungry, the abused still defiled, and the gluttonous still leading?

    The victim mindset is the greatest oppressor of the kind-hearted. The self-pitying soul is the most ungrateful of them all, and the martyr the saddest.

    Tonight, I find myself adrift on an icy lake. Not carried by tranquil waves or exaggerated ripples, but instead, sliding uncontrollably in no particular direction, finding comfort in the movement, but no fulfilment in the futility of its course.

    Wishing away reality does not change it. It simply adds it to the burden of those who are more aware of the impact of that which you wish away. Such is the reality of the victim mind set. So focused on its own struggle, that it grows criminally oblivious to the oppression it imposes on those around them. When they withhold their contribution towards uplifting others, they prioritise their efforts of desperation to have their own struggles honoured first.

    See my hurt before you ask me to see yours. Such is the pathetic indulgence of those who believe that their struggle is the only struggle of such epic proportions that lesser mortals will crumble if only they had to endure the same fate.

    Thus, surrendering to fate becomes the ultimate protest of the coward. The one who abandons rationality and choice in favour of embellishing their selfishness with a cloak of proclaimed vulnerability.

    I feel the bile rising again.

  • Don’t blame destiny

    Don’t blame destiny

    Most often, it is our belief in what we deserve that limits us more than what we actually deserve or are capable of achieving.

    It’s like waiting up all night to witness an amazing sunrise only to give up as the first streaks of dawn appear and then convince ourselves that it was our destiny not to see the sunrise.

    No. Destiny is the sum total of the choices that you make with the opportunities that present themselves to you.

    If you’re too distracted to notice those opportunities, or lack the courage to embrace it, that’s your choice, not destiny.

    Destiny is blamed for more failures than our failure to act.

  • Psssst, guess what?

    Psssst, guess what?

    The universe is not waiting to serve you. It’s time to own your shit.

    “Expecting life to treat you well because you’re a good person is like expecting a bull not to charge at you because you’re a vegetarian.” (Unknown)

    This is my favourite quote whenever I come across someone that feels defeated because they were expecting the good that they do to be returned to them by ‘the universe’. I think it’s exceptionally arrogant to believe that the universe is actively conspiring to treat us well, or treat us badly, because of what we send forth. No. There are manipulators and con artists that get good to come their way all the time despite using everyone else as pawns in their game of life. And then when one bad thing happens to them, people are quick to jump on that karma bandwagon. So, let me get this straight…a lifetime of unethical and underhanded behaviour is repaid by a single event of loss or tragedy, and that’s supposed to be karma? No. It’s life. We are only ever good at what we set our minds to. If there was true justice in this world, we wouldn’t have the kind of problems that we’re facing as humanity. Let’s keep it real. Shall we?

    #thesecret #whatgoesaroundcomesaround