Tag: mentalhealth

  • Empty promises

    Empty promises

    Some promises are broken before they’re even sealed.

    Some are honoured before they’re even made.

    The promises that are sincere will be blessed in their outcomes, well beyond the obligation that they carry.

    But the promise made out of obligation or compromise will always be burdensome and restrained in its fulfilment.

    Like apologies, promises are often made to avoid an unpleasant moment, rather than to create a beautiful one.

    It is this insincerity more than anything else that destroys what could be a beautifully fulfilling relationship.

    It is in the nuances and innuendos of how we honour the commitments that we make that leaves the most defining impression, and not just the fact that we kept our word.

    No one wants to feel like a burden or an obligation.

    When we lack sincerity in fulfilling our promises, or following through on our apologies, that is exactly what our unspoken words scream at those who cherish us.

    It tells them that they’re not important, only us keeping our word matters to us because we value our image more than we value them.

    Let your unspoken words reflect sincerity and conviction, and not leave room for doubt or ugliness.

    Anything less is a lie.

  • Be gentle

    Be gentle

    Chances are very good that your harshness or cruelty is directed at the wrong person.

    Unfortunately, you’ll only realise this after the damage is done.

    Cruelty, like anger, is most often expressed to those weaker than us, even though we experience it at the hands of those stronger than us.

    Sadly, it is paid forward more often than gratitude or kindness.

    The need for vengeance to reclaim our power drives us more to action than the perception of weakness that accompanies a gentle spirit.

    Needing vengeance is a sign of a low self esteem because we are more concerned with how others perceive us, than how we perceive ourselves.

    For this reason there are no bad people in this world, only weak ones.

    Don’t be weak.

    Being gentle requires a strength of character that too few have mastered.

    Be gentle.

  • Humanity for sale

    Humanity for sale

    The ones driven by the validation of others turn themselves into victims.

    The ones driven by the belief that no one cares or no one understands, turn themselves into oppressors and abusers.

    But when we’re so focused on our own struggles, we fail to see the struggles that we introduce into the lives of others.

    That’s why we have no shortage of people reminding others to treat everyone with kindness, but rarely treating anyone with kindness if there’s nothing in it for them.

    Even our humanity has become a transaction in this capitalistic world of individual worship.

    We worship our needs before we revere any principles or values that we claim to uphold.

    Hence humanity’s slide into the abyss of loneliness.

    When will we awaken? 😞

  • Gratitude, the root of peace

    Gratitude, the root of peace

    As long as you have gratitude in your heart, you will always find opportunities instead of problems in your life.

    Gratitude allows us to focus on what’s good, and realise how much worse things could be.

    It encourages appreciation for what we have instead of envy for what we don’t have.

    Most importantly, it recognises the blessings that most take for granted like good health, free time, youthfulness, good relations, and peace of mind.

    When we lose gratitude for these things, we take it for granted and stop doing what is needed to maintain it.

    That’s when we lose it.

    And if we still don’t recognise our ingratitude at that point, our difficulties become a trial rather than a reminder.

    Live with gratitude. Always.

  • Be more than your past

    Be more than your past

    Like they say, every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

    Your past will only ever define your future if you allow it.

    They also say that the past may be blemished, but the future is still perfect.

    There is a reality between all this idealism that we can’t escape, and that is the impact of the poor decisions that we may have made before.

    But don’t let that define any more than your accountability to make it right.

    And you must make it right or else you drag your past with you into the future.

    Make amends as best as you can, and focus on the road ahead.

    Those that support you must be cherished on that journey, and those that don’t must be respected because we can never dictate to others how they must accept or forgive our past mistakes.

    Just because we may have chosen to move on doesn’t mean that they are ready to do the same.

    Accept this, and be better. You can’t change your past, but you can redefine who you want to be in future.

  • In pursuit of a life worth living

    In pursuit of a life worth living

    We get it wrong so often.

    We chase the means to an end and neglect the end.

    We find reason to exhaust ourselves in accumulating the trophies of life while discarding life along that journey.

    The celebrity lifestyle teaches us that a celebration of our accomplishments is rarely a celebration of who we are.

    The accumulation of wealth, the active pursuit of health, or the courting of fame all distract us from the truth of who we are as we grow to be defined by what we achieve.

    And in that way, we give others reason to judge us or to embrace us based on those achievements, rather than allowing them to connect with the human behind it all.

    A life well lived is one that is an expression of your authentic self.

    To know your authentic self, you must reach within before you become defined by what you have around you.

    It is through connecting with who we are, appreciating ourselves for the beauty and the flaws birthed from the struggles of our lives, and recognising the resilience of spirit that we possess that instils an authenticity of self that no trial will ever be able to smother.

    It is through this realisation of the self that we will apply ourselves with conviction, passion, and purpose in our pursuit of creating value in the lives of others.

    It is that value that is uniquely ours to contribute, that creates the fulfilment that feeds our soul, nourishes our body, and creates space for the rewards that such contribution inevitably earns.

    Wealth is relative. Contentment is not. Be sure you’re chasing the right one before you lose both. Or worse, before you lose yourself.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Looking for love in all the wrong places

    The shame that we carry within us about what we believe is lacking about ourselves, sometimes causes us to reject those who embrace us despite knowing the worst side of us.

    But because we reject that part of who we are, and are not willing to see our humanness attaching shame to it, we try to escape the embrace of the one who accepts it, so that we can avoid facing it or dealing with it.

    That’s how we find ourselves pushing away those close to us, while trying to win favour or earn the affection or validation of someone who doesn’t know that side of us.

    Because when we try to escape who we really are, we find it necessary to also escape anything that reminds us of that version of ourselves that we’ve rejected.

    Growth and healing is not found in rejecting the scars or the wounds of the past.

    Growth is experienced when we dress those wounds with understanding and acceptance, and when we caress those scars with love and affection.

    Looking for acceptance from others while rejecting ourselves, creates a tension within us that makes us defensive the moment they get close to revealing the shame that we still hold within us, about ourselves.

    It is that defensiveness that destroys yet another good relationship, as we hold them accountable for the very same reasons that we once rejected those who made bad decisions in response to the hurt that we caused in their hearts.

    This is how we sabotage the life we’re trying to create, while blaming the world for not accepting us.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Soul food

    Soul food

    The physical form demands fulfilment, while the soul demands peace.

    Too often, we mistake the fulfilment of our physical needs to be soul food, and we neglect our soul.

    As this soul food grows familiar, we seek ever more creative ways to get that fulfilment leading us further into indulgence, and away from peace.

    Soul food is the feeling you get from an embrace with a loved one before you notice the scent of their perfume.

    It’s the sound of the dove cooing before you admire your beautiful bird bath.

    It’s the laughter of family before you notice the luxury with which you clothe them.

    Pause.

    Take a deep breath.

    Look a little closer.

    Beyond the physical.

    Look at what money can’t buy, or hands can’t manipulate, and you’ll find the divine, sublimely tucked away with the peace that you’ve been searching for, for so long…

    And remember, what feeds your soul rarely fills your belly.

    So don’t be reckless with where you seek fulfilment in your life, because you may just discover that after exhausting yourself in that pursuit for decades, you were only distracting yourself with trinkets that have no soul.