Tag: expectation

  • Dare to dream

    Dare to dream

    When we pursue the impossible, we achieve the unbelievable.

    But, we’re often so distracted by how impossible our goal might appear, that we lose sight of everything that its pursuit offers us.

    Fortune cookie wisdom tells us that it’s the journey that matters, not the destination.

    Yet, we lose sight of the growth that the journey offers, and give up the pursuit of a seemingly impossible destination.

    Today is a good day to take that step towards that impossible dream that you’ve been courting with for so long.

    No time like the present, right?

  • Gratitude is not the first step

    Gratitude is not the first step

    Gratitude is all that matters, because gratitude is not possible without everything that matters coming before it.

    Gratitude escapes us when we don’t respect the effort needed to achieve anything worth achieving.

    It escapes us when we assume that we’re entitled to an outcome, without considering our contribution that is needed towards that outcome.

    It escapes us when we take for granted what we have, because we’re always focused on what we don’t have.

    To appreciate the effort, the struggle, or the commitment needed to create anything of value, we need to first recognise the sacrifice, the hard work, the consistency, and the commitment needed to develop the skills to gather the resources needed to achieve it.

    For this reason, we all have something that we give to others for which they should be grateful, but sadly, we cannot insert gratitude into their hearts for it.

    We can only contribute the best of who we are, and appreciate why we may not always be appreciated.

    We cannot give what we don’t have. The ungrateful one lacks gratitude for who they are and what they have.

    Expecting gratitude from such a being is therefore foolhardy, no matter how significant they may be in your life.

  • Invest purposefully in your life

    Invest purposefully in your life

    Invest in creating the life that you want, rather than escaping the life that you don’t want.

    It might sound obvious, but take a breather and consider what drives your choices.

    Are you driven by the need to avoid unpleasant encounters in your life?

    Or are you driven by the need to create encounters that connect with your soul?

    The difference has a profound effect on your sense of peace and well being.

    Things only thrive if we nurture it. Nurturing is not always an act of kindness.

    Sometimes, nurturing is feeding a toxic cycle without realising it, or validating untoward behaviour by actively engaging with it.

    Emotional mindfulness connects you with the present moment so that you may make more informed investments about the outcomes of your life.

    *Connect with me to find out how I can help you to achieve this. Video sessions available at very reasonable rates.

  • Exhale. Peace is within reach.

    Exhale. Peace is within reach.

    Wisdom is the re-finding of innocence.

    We’re born innocent, but then life happens.

    Almost imperceptibly, our innocence wanes, and our disappointment in life replaces it.

    Focused on remedying our justified gripes with this world, we lose sight of our innocence that once brought us peace.

    Our life then becomes a struggle to regain that peace, sometimes further contaminating our innocence in that effort.

    Until, one day, quite by chance, we realise that peace lies in reconnecting with our innocence.

    And innocence lies in relinquishing our justified claim for justice or retribution.

    Our path then shifts from striving for peace, and instead, discovering why life happened the way that it did.

    In discovering the why, the disappointment and bitterness recedes, and the space once occupied by innocence becomes available once more.

    Thus, innocence is allowed back in, not because we pursued it, but because we allowed it to return.

    Exhale, beloved. The breath you’ve been holding in, waiting for justice, is better spent exhaling the toxins that cloud your heart.

    Let your heart rise. It knows how. We just need to stop weighing it down with expectations of those whose growth is not aligned with our own.

    Exhale, beloved. A breath of peace awaits you.

  • Save yourself from regrets

    Save yourself from regrets

    I believe that among the great deathbed regrets will be the realisation that we never truly showed the world who we are.

    It’s the what-ifs and if-onlys that cause more regret and heartache than any bad decision.

    Bad decisions are made with good intentions, yet we always choose to remember the negative outcome, rather than celebrate our innocence and sincerity for trying.

    We do this because we’re more focused on what others think of us, than we are about what we know to be true about ourselves.

    This bias against ourselves is one of the roots with which ingratitude takes hold in our life.

    When that happens, we become martyrs in our own mind, as we focus on everything that didn’t work out, while losing sight of the beauty and blessings that we have.

    Living up to your convictions, despite society, is what will provide you with peace and fulfilment when you need it most.

    That is, in those final moments when you look back at the sum total of your life and wonder if you made the best of it, or did you only focus on the worst of it?

    Redefine what peace means to you. It is always beyond just the absence of disagreement or hostility. Peace lies in being true to yourself, and appreciating the opportunities for growth that such conviction creates in those around you.



  • Yearning for a simple life

    Yearning for a simple life

    Life is simple, but it’s not easy.

    It becomes complicated when we look for the easy way out.

    Doing the right thing is often complicated by our concern for the consequences with those around us.

    The greater our emphasis on those consequences, the more complicated life becomes because we have that much more to consider before we hold true to our convictions.

    Often, it’s the easiest way to lose sight of our convictions, or finding reason to compromise it until it becomes an empty shell of what we once believed to be sacred.

    A simple life, by definition, would lack such complexity.

    But in that lies the demand for courage and clarity of thought.

    The clearer our thinking, the easier it is to muster up our courage.

    Courage is therefore contaminated by an unhealthy fixation on potential outcomes.

    Worse still, by preempting outcomes and changing our convictions to avoid conflict, we deny others the opportunity to grow by protecting them from the truth that we hold within us.

    Thus, life threatens to be complicated, and unfulfilled, because what we express on the outside ceases to resonate on the inside.

    And finally, this opens the door for a bitterness or regret that can no longer be expressed because we surrendered our peace for a painful compromise.

    Hold on to your truth, and allow others the space to deal with the awkwardness of their insecurities as they slowly learn to embrace a new understanding.

  • Judge me fairly

    Judge me fairly

    How often do we build pedestals for people and then judge them for sitting on it?

    Judgement is inevitable. It’s how we make sense of our world.

    But are we aware of the basis of our judgement?

    When we judge anyone or anything, it’s based on our past experiences with troubled souls, and not on the present moment.

    The moment we shift our attention to the present moment, we’ll find ourselves seeking to understand, rather than to judge.

    That understanding will allow us to shift the basis of our judgement in future, because it allows us to test the knowledge that we gained from our past.

    The moment we avoid understanding, we’re responding to the fear of reliving a painful experience, rather than creating a new experience.

    Oh, gentle soul, many moments of beauty and joy are lost because of such fear.

    Sometimes, an entire lifetime of joy can be discarded because we lose sight of the fear that drives us, and believe it to be our conviction to protect ourselves from a cruel world.

    Slow down, beloved. Breathe. You’re in this moment because you rose above your past. Let that be the pedestal from which you look to your future.

  • Only you

    Only you

    “I’ve been incompatible with anyone else since I met you.”

    Sometimes, without warning, someone enters your life and challenges every assumption you ever made about what’s possible.

    What you thought you deserved was limited to what you were capable of achieving up to that point, and maybe just a quiet desire to acquire some peace beyond it.

    Until they see in you what you thought was your own delusions, and you see in them what you thought were only your dreams.

    Once you connect with that truth, nothing can convince you that anything less is what you must settle for.

    Settling becomes a vulgar thought, and fulfilment becomes incomplete without them.

    When that happens, the distance between love and torture grows, and you find yourself stretched between the two, with only shards of sanity to prevent you from being torn apart.

    Those shards will tear at your dreams and taunt your delusions until their embrace is secured.

    Until then, life becomes a dyslexic dance with insanity, and love remains elusive.