Tag: ownyourlife

  • Discover your why

    Discover your why

    Flipped open the book to a random page and found this.

    I don’t think there is anything that drives us towards anger or happiness more than this single principle.

    Understanding it within the context of our lives is crucial towards achieving fulfilment in our relationships.

    “We must believe that we matter, that our presence is of consequence to the outcome of a greater good, or else we wither away in isolation or irrelevance.”

    This is at the heart of misery and joy.

    The fear of being inconsequential is what drives both, the most passionate embrace and the most despicable behaviour.

    If you don’t understand how this drives or affects you, you’ll be prone to emotional highs and lows that will leave you exhausted or depressed without knowing why.

    Reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183, and let’s figure out your why…
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    Image : page 37 of Own Your Sh!t

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  • Never abandon hope

    Never abandon hope

    Hope is born in moments when you have no reason to believe in the moment that is to follow, but something good unexpectedly lands in your lap.

    It’s born when that unexpected call changes your life for the better.

    It’s born when that stranger smiled an understanding smile in that moment that you thought the world was oblivious to your presence.

    It’s born when you wake in the morning and discover that despite your worst premonitions, you have a good day.

    Hope can be torturous when the events of your life have given you little reason to believe that the good that you experience will last for more than a fleeting moment.

    But, knowing that it’s possible for it to last beyond that brief period of joy is what makes it impossible to ignore the hope that bubbles beneath the surface.

    Hope is faith. And faith is hope.

    Both are intricately woven into the fabric of our struggles.

    When we focus on our struggles only, we lose sight of all those moments that planted the seeds of hope in our hearts so many lifetimes before the present moment.

    In forgetting, we burden ourselves with more than the burdens of life. We burden ourselves with the burden of ingratitude as well.

    Focus on hope, and faith will have your back.

  • Fanning our rage

    Fanning our rage

    Fear is driven by need.

    The moment we give up on the need, the fear subsides.

    Our need to be significant to those who are significant to us drives most of the fears that may fan our rage at the world.

    But only for as long as we still have hope that there is a chance for us to be significant to them.

    When we give up on achieving that status in their lives, the fear subsides and gives way to an emptiness that carries with it no energy at all.

    That emptiness feels like peace after a lifetime of struggle. But only until we realise that when that peace entered, hope departed.

    Thus, the dulling of the soul begins.

    Quietly receding, carefully subduing, and slowly disappearing from the lives of those we once courted.

    Until, eventually, we successfully fade from our own life.

    Some see it as a cowardly surrender. Or perhaps a convenient choice.

    If only it was convenient to be invisible, more would choose that over self destruction, or suicide.

    When we stop paying attention to those who seek us out, we surround ourselves with those we seek instead.

    If we don’t find a balance between the two, we’ll find the isolation that accompanies being both, looking for a place to belong, but finding none.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • You can’t wish away your struggle

    You can’t wish away your struggle

    Wishing it’s a sunny day when it’s raining is not going to make the sun come out.

    Therefore, leaving your umbrella behind is an act of foolishness, not optimism.

    A positive mindset can often lead us into delusional states.

    When our overbearing sense of deliberate positivity doesn’t produce results, it crushes our spirit even more than before we started.

    Keep it real.

    Positivity is about focusing on opportunities, not about wishing away reality.

    Whispering to the universe, if not followed by real and decisive action, will remain nothing more than a whisper.

    Positivity doesn’t only attract positivity, it also attracts the negative ones who are in need of positivity.

    If you don’t recognise this, you’ll struggle to reconcile why your efforts at being positive still yield negative results.

    You attract what others need, not what you are.

    If nothing else, let that be the grounding point for your sanity.

  • Choose your moment

    Choose your moment

    We all have a touch of insanity that threatens to overwhelm us at times.

    Instead of competing to be heard above the noise of the madness around you, your sanity may be better served by finding peace in being able to choose your madness.

    When we lose sight of what is important because we’re focused on being heard, we lose ourselves to the effort of competing with the struggles of others.

    If everyone focuses on wanting to have their struggles honoured, who will find time to rise above it?

    We’re human. By design, we are emotional beings.

    But we must recognise that our emotions make us aware of how we are experiencing something, while our intellect enables our response to it.

    When we honour our emotions above all else, we deny ourselves the opportunity to learn from the experience so that we may rise above it.

    We must find balance in everything, even in our emotional expression, or else we risk losing ourselves to the very thing we claim to define our space in this world.

    Choose your moments.

    Choose your battles.

    Choose your audience.

    Not every moment is yours to claim.

    Not every battle needs to be fought.

    Not every audience is committed to hearing your story, or honouring your struggle.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Own your life

    Own your life

    Note to self: When you allow yourself to be defined by the scepticism of others, you impose their limitations on yourself.

    Recognising that all mental and emotional limitations are self-imposed is critical to growth.

    These limitations are revealed in how we believe we are compelled to respond to someone or some experience.

    It is revealed in how we believe in our ability to do the extraordinary, while our support structure, or our tribe convinces us that we’re supposed to focus on responsibility only.

    It is revealed when we look for validation and approval for our aspirations or ambitions, before we commit ourselves wholeheartedly towards its pursuit.

    The greatness that exists in all of us is often snuffed out by our need to be accepted before we pursuit that which will set us apart.

    Whose permission are you waiting for before you unleash your passion, or pursue your dream?

    Tomorrow is not guaranteed, but death bed regrets are…if you don’t live a life that duly honours the struggles of your life.

    Own your life. Before someone else does.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Are you grateful for you?

    Are you grateful for you?

    Whenever asked about gratitude, the inevitable response is one that is focused on everything we have around us.

    Sometimes, we consider our health and our skills.

    At other times we recognise the value of things not being as bad as they could have been.

    And we convince ourselves that this is being grateful.

    But how often do we stop to contemplate gratitude for the traits and attributes that we have which makes our appreciation of all of that possible?

    How often do we stop to appreciate the essence of who we are, and the tough and selfless choices that we made under difficult circumstances, when we could easily have taken the selfish or easy way out?

    This is not about judging the choices that we’ve made, but about recognising how we still showed up, with conviction, to do our best to make something good out of a bad situation.

    You cannot nurture that which you don’t acknowledge to be true. So how are you going to nurture the value of who you are, if your gratitude is only focused on what you have?

    Striking a balance between selfishness and gratitude for the self is what makes the difference between being defined by your struggles in life, versus defining the outcomes of the struggles of your life.

    You won’t be able to determine the difference if you lack gratitude for who you are, and what your contribution is towards improving the state of your life, and the lives of those around you.

    The next time you contemplate what you’re grateful for, be sure to include yourself in that moment of reflection.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Growth is inevitable

    Growth is inevitable

    This was an important realisation that has carried me through many difficult experiences in life.

    What’s even more important to realise is that when we choose a positive growth for ourselves, there is no guarantee that the people around us will choose the same.

    Don’t back down from being a better version of you because of it.

    All you can do is try to inspire them to be better as well. But the final choice will always be theirs to make.

    Trials are there to teach us lessons about what we previously took for granted.

    With it, comes a greater level of awareness.

    Awareness carries with it a responsibility to either contribute more, or to apply yourself in better ways. That’s how growth takes place.

    When you resist such growth, you grow in defensiveness. So you’re effectively exchanging positive growth for negative growth.

    Growth is therefore inevitable. You only get to decide in which direction it takes you.