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Fanning our rage

Fear is driven by need.

The moment we give up on the need, the fear subsides.

Our need to be significant to those who are significant to us drives most of the fears that may fan our rage at the world.

But only for as long as we still have hope that there is a chance for us to be significant to them.

When we give up on achieving that status in their lives, the fear subsides and gives way to an emptiness that carries with it no energy at all.

That emptiness feels like peace after a lifetime of struggle. But only until we realise that when that peace entered, hope departed.

Thus, the dulling of the soul begins.

Quietly receding, carefully subduing, and slowly disappearing from the lives of those we once courted.

Until, eventually, we successfully fade from our own life.

Some see it as a cowardly surrender. Or perhaps a convenient choice.

If only it was convenient to be invisible, more would choose that over self destruction, or suicide.

When we stop paying attention to those who seek us out, we surround ourselves with those we seek instead.

If we don’t find a balance between the two, we’ll find the isolation that accompanies being both, looking for a place to belong, but finding none.

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Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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