Tag: mentalhealth

  • You can’t wish away your struggle

    You can’t wish away your struggle

    Wishing it’s a sunny day when it’s raining is not going to make the sun come out.

    Therefore, leaving your umbrella behind is an act of foolishness, not optimism.

    A positive mindset can often lead us into delusional states.

    When our overbearing sense of deliberate positivity doesn’t produce results, it crushes our spirit even more than before we started.

    Keep it real.

    Positivity is about focusing on opportunities, not about wishing away reality.

    Whispering to the universe, if not followed by real and decisive action, will remain nothing more than a whisper.

    Positivity doesn’t only attract positivity, it also attracts the negative ones who are in need of positivity.

    If you don’t recognise this, you’ll struggle to reconcile why your efforts at being positive still yield negative results.

    You attract what others need, not what you are.

    If nothing else, let that be the grounding point for your sanity.

  • Choose your moment

    Choose your moment

    We all have a touch of insanity that threatens to overwhelm us at times.

    Instead of competing to be heard above the noise of the madness around you, your sanity may be better served by finding peace in being able to choose your madness.

    When we lose sight of what is important because we’re focused on being heard, we lose ourselves to the effort of competing with the struggles of others.

    If everyone focuses on wanting to have their struggles honoured, who will find time to rise above it?

    We’re human. By design, we are emotional beings.

    But we must recognise that our emotions make us aware of how we are experiencing something, while our intellect enables our response to it.

    When we honour our emotions above all else, we deny ourselves the opportunity to learn from the experience so that we may rise above it.

    We must find balance in everything, even in our emotional expression, or else we risk losing ourselves to the very thing we claim to define our space in this world.

    Choose your moments.

    Choose your battles.

    Choose your audience.

    Not every moment is yours to claim.

    Not every battle needs to be fought.

    Not every audience is committed to hearing your story, or honouring your struggle.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Seek understanding. Always.

    Seek understanding. Always.

    If you find yourself judging, more than understanding, you’re filled with fear about the future. Not hope.

    Judgement is not always harsh. But, judgement is always focused on an external standard that we think others respect.

    External standards give us comfort because we don’t run the risk of making a bad decision by ourselves. If things don’t go well, we can always say that everyone thought that it was the right thing to do.

    More than this, when we live up to a standard that we know others respect, we automatically feel respected. That way, we don’t have to go through the difficulty of earning respect by ourselves.

    This mind set conditions is to judge right or wrong, good or bad, better or worse, rather than to seek understanding of why we, or others, may fall short.

    This, more than anything else, undermines the quality of the relationships that we have with others, and especially with ourselves.

    And remember, seeking to understand bad behaviour doesn’t mean we condone it. It just means that we have a better chance of addressing the reason for it, rather than responding to its symptoms.

    If this is something that you or someone close to you is struggling with, reach out. Let’s talk. A fulfilled life is more achievable than it may appear to be at present.

  • Rediscover who you are

    Rediscover who you are

    The journey of rediscovery of the self is the greatest joy of all.

    It shakes off the cobwebs that life tends to accumulate, and breaks the chains that we’ve used to tether ourselves to past experiences.

    Rediscover who you really are, so that you can shake off the debris that you accumulated through the years with each toxic character that convinced you that you were someone you’re not.

    Your true self is buried beneath the clutter and wounds of the past.

    The risk of coping with failure or betrayal is that our act of coping grows to define who we think we are.

    But that’s when we lose sight of who we were before that moment.

    The only way to move beyond it is to recognise that coping is only needed as long as we’re still holding on to the hurt or the disappointment of what could’ve been, but didn’t happen.

    Let go of it, and the joy you experienced before that defining moment will return.

  • Own your life

    Own your life

    Note to self: When you allow yourself to be defined by the scepticism of others, you impose their limitations on yourself.

    Recognising that all mental and emotional limitations are self-imposed is critical to growth.

    These limitations are revealed in how we believe we are compelled to respond to someone or some experience.

    It is revealed in how we believe in our ability to do the extraordinary, while our support structure, or our tribe convinces us that we’re supposed to focus on responsibility only.

    It is revealed when we look for validation and approval for our aspirations or ambitions, before we commit ourselves wholeheartedly towards its pursuit.

    The greatness that exists in all of us is often snuffed out by our need to be accepted before we pursuit that which will set us apart.

    Whose permission are you waiting for before you unleash your passion, or pursue your dream?

    Tomorrow is not guaranteed, but death bed regrets are…if you don’t live a life that duly honours the struggles of your life.

    Own your life. Before someone else does.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Are you grateful for you?

    Are you grateful for you?

    Whenever asked about gratitude, the inevitable response is one that is focused on everything we have around us.

    Sometimes, we consider our health and our skills.

    At other times we recognise the value of things not being as bad as they could have been.

    And we convince ourselves that this is being grateful.

    But how often do we stop to contemplate gratitude for the traits and attributes that we have which makes our appreciation of all of that possible?

    How often do we stop to appreciate the essence of who we are, and the tough and selfless choices that we made under difficult circumstances, when we could easily have taken the selfish or easy way out?

    This is not about judging the choices that we’ve made, but about recognising how we still showed up, with conviction, to do our best to make something good out of a bad situation.

    You cannot nurture that which you don’t acknowledge to be true. So how are you going to nurture the value of who you are, if your gratitude is only focused on what you have?

    Striking a balance between selfishness and gratitude for the self is what makes the difference between being defined by your struggles in life, versus defining the outcomes of the struggles of your life.

    You won’t be able to determine the difference if you lack gratitude for who you are, and what your contribution is towards improving the state of your life, and the lives of those around you.

    The next time you contemplate what you’re grateful for, be sure to include yourself in that moment of reflection.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Misery is the thief of time

    Misery is the thief of time

    Anything that requires a concerted effort is exhausting…like being miserable or morbid…it demands that we suppress any inclination to find joy or happiness in simple things.

    Can anyone guess why we would do this? 🤔

    Joy is what we give up when we hold on to misery.

    Don’t become so distracted by how you were betrayed or abused by others that you grow fixated on wanting to see them get their own back while putting your own joy on hold.

    Remember that it took a specific event to make you feel miserable, but up to that point joy came naturally.

    This means that our natural state is one of joyfulness, and it also means that we have to put in a lot of effort to prevent ourselves from experiencing joy.

    That’s why misery and depression is so exhausting.

    It’s not just a lack of motivation, it is an energy thief.

    Invest your life in moments that uplift others and yourself, not in waiting for revenge or karma to come around.

    P. S. At the time of originally posting this in 2019, I was thinking of making the title for my book The Book of Mindfulness. But I eventually decided on Own Your Shit. You can order your copy today from my website at zaidismail.com or on Amazon and Kindle.

  • Growth is inevitable

    Growth is inevitable

    This was an important realisation that has carried me through many difficult experiences in life.

    What’s even more important to realise is that when we choose a positive growth for ourselves, there is no guarantee that the people around us will choose the same.

    Don’t back down from being a better version of you because of it.

    All you can do is try to inspire them to be better as well. But the final choice will always be theirs to make.

    Trials are there to teach us lessons about what we previously took for granted.

    With it, comes a greater level of awareness.

    Awareness carries with it a responsibility to either contribute more, or to apply yourself in better ways. That’s how growth takes place.

    When you resist such growth, you grow in defensiveness. So you’re effectively exchanging positive growth for negative growth.

    Growth is therefore inevitable. You only get to decide in which direction it takes you.