Tag: mentalhealthawareness

  • Build your village

    Build your village

    We’re bombarded every day with messages that try to convince us to put ourselves first.

    To protect ourselves from being taken for granted.

    To demand our rights.

    To claim our voice.

    To claim our space.

    And yes, all of that is important. But…

    What about what we’re required to contribute?

    Who reminds us of our responsibilities before they remind us to claim our rights?

    Or to make space for others in our lives before we demand that they make space for us?

    Weakness is born in the belief that if we don’t take care of ourselves, no one else will.

    Again, while that may have some truth in it, it also entrenches the belief that we must receive before we can give.

    It focuses our attention on threats, rather than opportunities to create something new and amazing.

    It convinces us that there must be something in it for us, before we are willing to act selflessly towards benefiting others.

    Individualism has robbed us of the beauty of belonging to a village. We need to build that village before we can hope to take comfort from what it offers.

    Give, create, contribute. Not because you need something in return, but because it is a sincere expression of who you are.

  • Mediocrity is the enemy of life

    Mediocrity is the enemy of life

    How often do you hold back so that you don’t ruffle feathers?

    Maybe you hold back because you don’t want to be the odd one out?

    Or perhaps you withhold what you’re capable of because you don’t want anyone to think that you are arrogant, or full of yourself, or trying to steal the limelight?

    When we focus more on what others think of us, than we do on the value of what we want to create, we surrender who we are, for what we think they want us to be.

    Mediocrity is celebrated by those who wish to be included.

    It is celebrated by those who want to be liked.

    Mediocrity is what maintains the status quo, or worse, allows us to slip into becoming irrelevant.

    It is the bold and the courageous.

    The ones who challenge conventions with purpose.

    The ones who don’t settle for what they have the moment they connect with the real life value of what could be better.

    They’re the ones that lead without meaning to.

    They’re the ones that uplift without expecting something in return.

    They’re the ones that create the fascinating experiences that offer a fulfilling life to the ones who celebrate mediocrity.

    Mediocrity is the enemy of progress.

    Mediocrity is the enemy of growth.

    Be careful of taking joy from being celebrated for what you know is not your best effort. Otherwise you may end up holding on to that accolade, from fear of not being able to achieve it if you push yourself beyond it.

    Live curiously. Live purposefully. Live loud. Don’t just exist. Live!

  • Release the bitterness

    Release the bitterness

    I often wonder how much good is denied to the world when love stories remain incomplete?

    We often see quotes reminding us that the next great discovery could be in the mind of a child labourer stuck working in a field.

    Similarly, how much beauty is wasted when treasured bonds are abandoned for reasons other than what exists between them? Beauty of which the world is in desperate need.

    Just as beauty is born of love, so too is bitterness born of loss.

    I wonder what of the troubles of this world is caused by broken hearts, rather than wilful greed?

    It is the sense of loss, or inadequacy in the eyes of those most cherished, that our worst behaviour comes to the fore.

    But there is value even in that.

    If not for still holding on to hope, such an expression of rage or harm would not have any purpose.

    It is only when we still have hope of our pain being consequential that we choose to share our discontent with the world.

    Therefore, it is not the raging lunatic that is most hurt, but the silent one who has no hope of being seen.

    Sometimes their silence is the build up to the storm of destruction that they need to unleash in their final attempt to be heard.

    But often, it’s the abandonment of dreams that perhaps the world really needed.

  • Are you in an abusive relationship…with you?

    Are you in an abusive relationship…with you?

    It’s women’s day in South Africa.

    A public holiday dedicated to recognising the value and contribution of women in society.

    My hope for this day is that we find the gentleness and nurturing spirit innate in women, and we give it an opportunity to thrive in our own lives, regardless of gender.

    Don’t be your harshest critic. Be your most sincere one.

    We’re often so focused on how others treat us, that we fail to recognise how badly we treat ourselves.

    Is the tone of your internal conversation one of understanding and growth, or harsh judgement and fear?

    When you have your internal conversation, do you refer to yourself by your name, or do you say ‘You’?

    Recognising these simple points will give you important insights into how you see yourself.

    Remember that we cannot give what we don’t have, so if you treat yourself harshly, chances are very good that you’re treating others harshly as well.

    Always a good time to reflect and correct the path we’re on.

  • Gratitude spawns respect

    Gratitude spawns respect

    Disrespect is often followed by discipline, or some other form of consequence management.

    While there is a need to correct bad behaviour, we can either spend our lives correcting that behaviour, or we can recognise that it’s a symptom of something else.

    That something else is the absence of gratitude.

    No. Not gratitude for what we have. Because that’s the other mistake we make.

    When we consider what we’re grateful for, we look around us, but rarely within.

    This is true for all humans, children and adults alike.

    Disrespect is a form of anger.

    Anger is a defence mechanism used to demand significance when we feel insignificant.

    Respond to the anger, and you lose sight of why there is insignificance.

    Just like responding to the disrespect only will cause you to lose sight of the absence of gratitude within the one who is behaving disrespectfully.

    That ingratitude is based on the belief that we’re not good enough. And we believe we’re not good enough only when we don’t value who we are, and what benefit others obtain from our contribution or our presence.

    Remember, you cannot nurture something that you’re not aware of.

    That’s why we take ourselves and others for granted, and end up being dismissive, disrespectful, or abusive, because we lost sight of the good within us, or them. Or both.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock



  • Grow, from unexpected places

    Grow, from unexpected places

    If you don’t like what someone has to say about you, make sure you’re not rejecting it because of who’s saying it.

    The truth about us is often spoken by our enemies, regardless of their motivation to do so.

    Growth is often experienced at the hands of those we hold in contempt.

    When you surround yourself with people that make you feel good about who you are, it’s inevitable that the ones to call you out when you’re wrong will be outside of that circle.

    But that’s where the greatest potential for growth lies.

    Growth is possible with those who see our actions for what they are, not for what it is within the context of how they know us to be.

    As sincere and well-meaning as loved ones can be, they’re not always good for growth because their affection or unwavering loyalty prevents them from seeing our blind spots.

    Try to maintain a healthy balance of critics in your life.

    Photo credit: Naadirah Ismail (using my awesome Huawei P20 Pro)

  • Be true about seeking truth

    Be true about seeking truth

    If you’re sincere about seeking the truth, you won’t be distracted by the source or tone through which it arrives.

    The truth is only harsh if you’re not willing to accept it.

    The harshness enters when we need to hear something more palatable or pleasant about ourselves because we need the validation that says that we’re not so bad.

    But that’s the problem right there.

    We use the truth to judge ourselves instead of grow, that’s why it feels harsh.

    If we embrace it, we embrace growth, and growth is never bad, except for the people that you sometimes leave behind because they don’t want to grow with you.

    Don’t let that stop you, because when they do decide to grow on their own, they’ll leave you behind.

    That’s why you need to own your life, and create opportunities for others to own theirs.

  • Make space for peace

    Make space for peace

    Don’t go searching for peace.

    Get rid of the noise and peace will find its way to you.

    When you find yourself in darkness, it doesn’t help to try to contain the darkness, does it? Instead, we go in search of a means to create l light.

    Similarly, when you’re desiring peace, you need to understand what is robbing you of that peace and focus on resolving that, rather than trying to wish it away by yearning for peace only.

    Think about it. Does it help to go on a journey to get rid of baggage if you’re packing the baggage with you for the trip?

    That’s why we must take time to recognise what we’re holding onto that brings us discomfort or anguish, so that we can stop investing energy in it.

    Remember, it’s not always someone or something that we need to let go of, it’s often how we perceive them, or it, that needs to change.

    That’s part of letting go of the noise that doesn’t serve us well so that we can create space for peace in our lives.

    Always remind yourself that the opinion that you formed about yourself, or about someone else, was done at a different time in your life, and theirs.

    If you can allow yourself to outgrow bad ways, don’t you owe it to others to allow them the same kindness?

    And if you’re still judging yourself by a mistake from a different time in your life, then you have yet to understand the true meaning of kindness and compassion.

    If you’re grappling with such a challenge, I can assist you to change the narrative of your life for the better. Reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183 and let’s get the conversation started.