Tag: coaching

  • Do you know why?

    Do you know why?

    What we choose to respond to is a reflection of what is important to us.

    The more important it is, the more intense or passionate our response.

    Hence anger that bubbles over, or heartfelt pleas and messages to connect with someone about something.

    The tone and demeanour of how we respond is a reflection of our self-worth.

    The more aggressive or abrasive we are, the lower our self-worth in that moment and about that setting. And vice versa.

    If we’re not mindful about our emotional needs from a given interaction, we’re likely to be distracted by the technical or practical aspects of what we’re dealing with, rather than understanding why it provokes such a strong response from us, or our partner.

    Situational mindfulness is the easy part. That’s being aware of WHAT is going on around you so that you can respond appropriately.

    Emotional mindfulness is more elusive, because it means that we need to be consciously aware of our emotional bias in that moment, or else we’ll lose sight of our bias when interpreting the actions or words of others. In other words, the WHY of our response.

    Understanding your Egosystem that drives you is therefore critical towards improving the quality of your relationships, and your life.

    If you’re struggling to understand why you can’t let go of something that appears hopeless, or why you feel so intensely about something that isn’t that important in the bigger picture, get your copy of The Egosystem now, and begin your journey of reconnecting with you, after having been distracted by the struggles of life.

  • Prisons of our minds

    Prisons of our minds

    Without realising it, we create most of the boundaries and the dependencies that we have on others, often without them being aware of it.

    One of the reasons we do this is because that is our code of life that we’re honouring.

    It’s our way of respecting or protecting what we see as sacred in that relationship.

    However, it’s based on the assumption that our partner shares the same values, and values the same things.

    Healthy communication will make such misalignment of expectations easier to deal with, and resolve.

    But, the moment we tell someone what we need from them, we create an opportunity for doubt within ourselves about whether they’re doing something out of obligation, or sincerity.

    That doubt is the beginning of the prison walls that we erect around ourselves, which slowly isolates us from our partner because we’re expecting them to notice what we need.

    But expectations are important in a relationship.

    Without it, the relationship loses value and the trust fades.

    To avoid this, we need to develop a healthy emotional maturity in the relationship so that issues of trust, expectations, and duty can be discussed in ways that don’t threaten the self-worth of your partner.

    More than this, we also need to realise that if we focused on what we’re not getting, and also focused only on what we’re giving, chances are good that we are unaware of what they need from us beyond the assumptions that we’ve made.

    Thus, the prisons of our minds become the prisons of our lives.



  • Mediocrity is the enemy of life

    Mediocrity is the enemy of life

    How often do you hold back so that you don’t ruffle feathers?

    Maybe you hold back because you don’t want to be the odd one out?

    Or perhaps you withhold what you’re capable of because you don’t want anyone to think that you are arrogant, or full of yourself, or trying to steal the limelight?

    When we focus more on what others think of us, than we do on the value of what we want to create, we surrender who we are, for what we think they want us to be.

    Mediocrity is celebrated by those who wish to be included.

    It is celebrated by those who want to be liked.

    Mediocrity is what maintains the status quo, or worse, allows us to slip into becoming irrelevant.

    It is the bold and the courageous.

    The ones who challenge conventions with purpose.

    The ones who don’t settle for what they have the moment they connect with the real life value of what could be better.

    They’re the ones that lead without meaning to.

    They’re the ones that uplift without expecting something in return.

    They’re the ones that create the fascinating experiences that offer a fulfilling life to the ones who celebrate mediocrity.

    Mediocrity is the enemy of progress.

    Mediocrity is the enemy of growth.

    Be careful of taking joy from being celebrated for what you know is not your best effort. Otherwise you may end up holding on to that accolade, from fear of not being able to achieve it if you push yourself beyond it.

    Live curiously. Live purposefully. Live loud. Don’t just exist. Live!

  • Don’t choose the hard way

    Don’t choose the hard way

    The original Afrikaans saying for this is somewhat more impactful.

    ‘Die wat nie will hoor nie, moet voel.’

    Translated, that means that if you don’t want to listen, then you’ll feel the pain.

    While it may have been regularly used as a taunt by teachers and parents towards misbehaving kids, it is totally apt for adults as well.

    Our reasons for avoiding, or even rejecting good advice is not always because we think we know better. Often, it’s because we assume that taking advice is a sign of weakness or incompetence. Hence our preference to learn the hard way instead.

    Add to that the source being someone who already, just by their presence, intimidates us, and suddenly an offering of advice from them feels like an attack.

    At the heart of it is our sense of self-worth. The lower our confidence, the more likely it is that an innocent gesture will appear as an attack.

    Low emotional maturity is the biggest stumbling block towards growth, and towards owning our life.

    Improving your emotional maturity is not about learning coping mechanisms for when you feel triggered, it’s about growing to understand why you are inclined towards feeling triggered at all.

    Stop coping with life and start thriving. It all begins with gaining insight into who you are and what shaped you to be this way.

    Need a navigator? Reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183 and let’s start building the life that you’ve always wanted.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock



  • Support Indie Authors

    Support Indie Authors

    Thank you Gallo Images for creating opportunities for indie authors and content creators like myself to get exposure.

    As any indie author will tell you, writing the book is the easy part.

    Publishing it is the next part, which is a bit easier than writing it. That’s if you do everything yourself like I do.

    But the most difficult part is getting people to know that your book exists, and to convince them to want to buy it.

    No matter how amazing your writing skills may be, or how enthraling your story, if people don’t know it exists, it will be a brilliant piece of work that is forever undiscovered.

    So efforts like these go a long way towards giving indie authors a fighting chance in the industry against the traditional publishing houses. Or perhaps even to get the attention of those publishers.

    Support an indie author by sharing their content with credits, and by leaving reviews of their work.

    Your small gesture can make a world of difference.

    Thank you.

    Photo credit : Gallo Images

  • Need help to de-stress?

    Need help to de-stress?

    We all need different things at different times in life.

    It’s part of the growth cycle.

    From beginning to realise what we’re really dealing with, to finding ways to cope with it, to choosing to rise above it, and finally, to no longer be defined by what was once weighing us down.

    These are important stages to be mindful of when choosing your coach.

    Choosing poorly could lead you in the wrong direction, or make you complacent about where you are.

    The most important choice you can make in life is choosing between wanting to feel better about where you’re at, versus choosing to rise above your current challenges.

    If you need help choosing, try the free 30 minute consultation offered to new clients. Get the free voucher details in the product description below.


  • Defining Moments Life Coaching

    Defining Moments Life Coaching

    Defining moments are those moments that mark a turning point in our lives. It’s either recalled as a moment of upliftment, or sadly too often a moment of duress. Both, however, define our lives and influences our behaviour in ways that we rarely recognise.

    When those defining moments are positive experiences, recognising them allows us to build on the momentum that it offered and makes such moments sustainable and repeatable. The moments that weighed us down can stifle our growth and confidence for years to come. It leaves us feeling burdened and exhausted compelling us to find ways to cope with what feels like external stress from work, family, social, or all of the above.

    At the core of any growth effort is the need for mindfulness. Mindfulness must be grounded in practicality and not approached as something external to your life. It must become an integrated part of who you are and how you immerse yourself in your daily life. This is the only sustainable and most powerful form of mindfulness. A mindfulness that allows you to navigate your emotions with clarity and your circumstances with a quiet confidence.

    Defining Moments Life Coaching focuses on a practical and effective approach to achieving balance in life, and especially understanding and working through past experiences that may be holding us back. With the emphasis on being accessible to those that would not normally be able to afford such services, coaching sessions are virtual to reduce transport and logistics costs for the client, and improve convenience and cost effectiveness.

    Schedule your consultation today and make a major positive step forward in achieving your dreams and aspirations without compromising your soul or your personal relationships.

  • Coming Soon: Launch of Life Coaching Practice

    Coming Soon: Launch of Life Coaching Practice

    My life’s calling has always prompted me towards this project. Throughout the years, despite my focus in my professional career having been in the information technology and management consulting arenas, I was always drawn to the human story behind good or poor performance. Unlocking potential in people who had a very limited view of what they were capable of has always proven more fulfilling than the highest paying roles that I’ve filled.

    I walked away from a seven figure salary to pursue this dream of mine. The people around me thought I was crazy, and many still do, but I know what I’m passionate about. That is, empowering people to rise above the constraints of their upbringing! In a nutshell, that is my calling in life. To inspire and guide others towards embracing the enormous potential that they have within them.

    My approach differs considerably from the norm, but having been doing this for no fee for many years now on a part time basis, I have proven that breaking the mold of traditional psychotherapy and life coaching, and finding a balance between the two is the most effective way to reinvent yourself. Some brief examples of unconventional successes that I have had over the years include:

    1. Career Coaching – Transforming individuals from entry-level jobs to highly sought after technical specialists without them having a tertiary qualification
    2. Life Coaching – Guiding individuals out of a chronically depressed state to being motivated and inspired to pursue their dreams
    3. Marriage Counseling – Restoring balance and respect in homes that were disrupted by external influences
    4. Health and Wellness Coaching – Helping individuals identify the causal relationship between their emotional state and their health, and guiding them towards overcoming it. (Especially effective for chronic conditions also known as lifestyle diseases.)
    5. Anger Management – Guiding individuals towards realising the source of their anger and effectively resolving it so that it does not hinder their growth or happiness in future
    6. Personal Trauma – Anything from divorce, to abusive relationships, childhood trauma that still deeply affects adults, and other forms of emotional abuse has been successfully unpacked and processed to release the hold that it had on the victims of such circumstances

    My coaching approach is best described as a holistic approach. My first book titled The Egosystem dealt with the core of the human condition and how it shapes our lives. My second book will focus on practically applying those insights into your life so that you can find your balance and point of grounding to be successful, both in your personal and professional endeavours.

    In the weeks to come, I will share more information about the service offering, rates, payment options, and the format that the coaching sessions will follow. My website will also be updated to allow for online booking of sessions, including real-time payment, and resources to make it more accessible for everyone. I will also be offering virtual coaching sessions so that it is accessible from anywhere in the world.