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Prisons of our minds

Without realising it, we create most of the boundaries and the dependencies that we have on others, often without them being aware of it.

One of the reasons we do this is because that is our code of life that we’re honouring.

It’s our way of respecting or protecting what we see as sacred in that relationship.

However, it’s based on the assumption that our partner shares the same values, and values the same things.

Healthy communication will make such misalignment of expectations easier to deal with, and resolve.

But, the moment we tell someone what we need from them, we create an opportunity for doubt within ourselves about whether they’re doing something out of obligation, or sincerity.

That doubt is the beginning of the prison walls that we erect around ourselves, which slowly isolates us from our partner because we’re expecting them to notice what we need.

But expectations are important in a relationship.

Without it, the relationship loses value and the trust fades.

To avoid this, we need to develop a healthy emotional maturity in the relationship so that issues of trust, expectations, and duty can be discussed in ways that don’t threaten the self-worth of your partner.

More than this, we also need to realise that if we focused on what we’re not getting, and also focused only on what we’re giving, chances are good that we are unaware of what they need from us beyond the assumptions that we’ve made.

Thus, the prisons of our minds become the prisons of our lives.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #lifecoaching #coaching #zaidismail #relationshipgoals #marriage #marriageadvice

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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