Tag: happiness

  • Be blessed, not entitled

    Be blessed, not entitled

    Appreciation is simply an acknowledgement of what we feel blessed with, while gratitude is reflected in what we claim to appreciate.

    The secret to contentment is found in gratitude.

    But not in an attitude of gratitude.

    It must be more substantial than that.

    Gratitude must be a meaningful connection with what we truly value about ourselves and our lives, and not just appreciation for having more than others.

    Gratitude allows us to focus on what’s good, and realise how much worse things could be.

    It encourages appreciation for what we have instead of envy for what we don’t have.

    Most importantly, it recognises the blessings that most take for granted like good health, free time, youthfulness, good relations, and peace of mind.

    When we lose gratitude for these things, we take it for granted and stop doing what is needed to maintain it.

    That’s when we lose it.

    And if we still don’t recognise our ingratitude at that point, our difficulties become a trial rather than a reminder leading us to believe that we’re cursed or being tested by divine decree.

    Live with gratitude. Always.

  • A destined misery…or is it?

    A destined misery…or is it?

    Are you sightseeing while wishing that what you see could be your reality?

    Most often, it is our belief in what we deserve that limits us more than what we actually deserve or are capable of achieving.

    In fact, considering what we deserve or don’t deserve is a distraction most likely grounded in self-pity or entitlement, neither of which changes reality.

    Couple that with resigning your fate to destiny and you have a recipe for misery.

    It’s like waiting up all night to witness an amazing sunrise only to give up as the first streaks of dawn appear, followed by convincing ourselves that it was our destiny not to see the sunrise.

    No. Destiny is the sum total of the choices that you make with the opportunities that present themselves to you.

    If you’re too distracted to notice those opportunities, or lack the courage to embrace it, that’s your choice, not destiny.

    The only thing that can reasonably be blamed on destiny is the consequences that affect us of the bad decisions that others make.

    Likewise, they are confronted with the fateful outcomes of our poor decisions, or our inaction to improve things.

    How we respond to that which is out of our control is a reflection of who we are and what we value about life.

    Don’t settle for less and then blame the world for not treating you fairly, or for not allowing you to have the life that you want.

    You only accept or pursue that which you believe you deserve, or that which is safe for you to pursue when you’re distracted by what others think of you.

    That’s why most of us settle for the dawn because we believe that we’re undeserving of the majestic sunrise.

    It always starts with you.

    Not with destiny.

  • Gratitude is not appreciation

    Gratitude is not appreciation

    Gratitude speaks more to our soul than any gift or trinket, or whispers of endearment.

    Gratitude is impossible without respect,
    and respect is impossible without honesty,
    and honesty is impossible without sincerity,
    and sincerity is impossible without self-respect,
    and self-respect is impossible without conviction,
    and conviction is impossible without self-worth…

    And so it continues until we realise that expecting gratitude or appreciation from someone that lacks any of these fundamental traits in their character is an exercise in futility.

    We cannot give what we don’t have.

    Therefore, if we’re falling short in any of the attributes that lead to gratitude, the most we’ll be capable of is appreciation.

    And appreciation is not the same as gratitude.

    Appreciation is simply the acknowledgment of a blessing or benefit.

    Gratitude is reflected in what you do with that blessing or benefit that you claim to appreciate.

    It’s like appreciating the fact that you have a job, but putting in only as much effort as is needed to meet your boss’s expectations so that you don’t get fired.

    Or appreciating that you have a car, but not maintaining it or using it in a way that reflects gratitude for the value that it creates in your life.

    You can have the world to be grateful for, but no one can insert gratitude into your heart.

    Gratitude is therefore not what we journal about, or what we praise or acknowledge.

    Gratitude is showing up in a way that does justice to the ability we have to show up.

    Gratitude is about not living life in half measures, or compromising what we stand for from fear of exclusion or rejection.

    Gratitude, if nothing else, is at the heart of peace and contentment, because it connects us purposefully with who we are and what we are capable of, regardless of what others see or don’t see in us.

    We can therefore not be grateful of others if we lack gratitude for ourselves.

    It always starts with you.

  • Misery is the thief of time

    Misery is the thief of time

    Anything that requires a concerted effort is exhausting…like being miserable or morbid…it demands that we suppress any inclination to find joy or happiness in simple things.

    Can anyone guess why we would do this? 🤔

    Joy is what we give up when we hold on to misery.

    Don’t become so distracted by how you were betrayed or abused by others that you grow fixated on wanting to see them get their own back while putting your own joy on hold.

    Remember that it took a specific event to make you feel miserable, but up to that point joy came naturally.

    This means that our natural state is one of joyfulness, and it also means that we have to put in a lot of effort to prevent ourselves from experiencing joy.

    That’s why misery and depression is so exhausting.

    It’s not just a lack of motivation, it is an energy thief.

    Invest your life in moments that uplift others and yourself, not in waiting for revenge or karma to come around.

    P. S. At the time of originally posting this in 2019, I was thinking of making the title for my book The Book of Mindfulness. But I eventually decided on Own Your Shit. You can order your copy today from my website at zaidismail.com or on Amazon and Kindle.

  • Gratitude, the root of peace

    Gratitude, the root of peace

    As long as you have gratitude in your heart, you will always find opportunities instead of problems in your life.

    Gratitude allows us to focus on what’s good, and realise how much worse things could be.

    It encourages appreciation for what we have instead of envy for what we don’t have.

    Most importantly, it recognises the blessings that most take for granted like good health, free time, youthfulness, good relations, and peace of mind.

    When we lose gratitude for these things, we take it for granted and stop doing what is needed to maintain it.

    That’s when we lose it.

    And if we still don’t recognise our ingratitude at that point, our difficulties become a trial rather than a reminder.

    Live with gratitude. Always.

  • Soul food

    Soul food

    The physical form demands fulfilment, while the soul demands peace.

    Too often, we mistake the fulfilment of our physical needs to be soul food, and we neglect our soul.

    As this soul food grows familiar, we seek ever more creative ways to get that fulfilment leading us further into indulgence, and away from peace.

    Soul food is the feeling you get from an embrace with a loved one before you notice the scent of their perfume.

    It’s the sound of the dove cooing before you admire your beautiful bird bath.

    It’s the laughter of family before you notice the luxury with which you clothe them.

    Pause.

    Take a deep breath.

    Look a little closer.

    Beyond the physical.

    Look at what money can’t buy, or hands can’t manipulate, and you’ll find the divine, sublimely tucked away with the peace that you’ve been searching for, for so long…

    And remember, what feeds your soul rarely fills your belly.

    So don’t be reckless with where you seek fulfilment in your life, because you may just discover that after exhausting yourself in that pursuit for decades, you were only distracting yourself with trinkets that have no soul.

  • Don’t blame destiny

    Don’t blame destiny

    Most often, it is our belief in what we deserve that limits us more than what we actually deserve or are capable of achieving.

    It’s like waiting up all night to witness an amazing sunrise only to give up as the first streaks of dawn appear and then convince ourselves that it was our destiny not to see the sunrise.

    No. Destiny is the sum total of the choices that you make with the opportunities that present themselves to you.

    If you’re too distracted to notice those opportunities, or lack the courage to embrace it, that’s your choice, not destiny.

    Destiny is blamed for more failures than our failure to act.

  • The balance of happiness

    The balance of happiness

    Without meaning to, life can become a trading exercise in which we give something with the expectation of receiving something else in return.

    That’s when it gets complicated. When the assumptions of one or both becomes entangled in the belief that happiness lies in a like-for-like exchange of sentiment or gifts, or perhaps effort.

    Sometimes, happiness is found in the opportunity to love without resistance to it.

    The ability to have your expression received graciously and appreciatively, because in such acceptance lies the happiness of the one who gives, and the gracious acceptance forms the expression of love of the one who receives.

    Happiness is found in differing expressions of love creating a beautiful whole.

    It’s when servitude meets devotion, or nurturing meets strength that the two complement each other, rather than compete with each other.

    Happiness is found in the balance that is born from the two, not in trying to create a singular expression between the two as one.

    Too often we assume the happiness of another to be dependent on our active contribution towards them, rather than realising that it is simply our appreciation of their contribution towards us that creates the fulfilment that would calm the souls of both.

    Calm souls create beauty, while anguished souls create destruction. Breathe beloved…just breathe…

    Photo credit: Adobe Stock