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  • The forgotten village idiot

    The forgotten village idiot

    This essay has been playing on my mind a lot lately.

    Covid-19 has revealed the true nature of many, which only served to reinforce this notion.

    Who puts a smile on the face of the village idiot?

    The saddest part of this essay is that most who read the title thought it to be humorous.

    From my book The Egosystem, it explores our relationship with those who give selflessly, while being forgotten.

    This pandemic has highlighted the forgotten and the taken-for-granted, and it has diminished further the roles of others who are not deemed essential through need, but who maintain the wellbeing and spirit of others through quiet contribution.

    I’ve always considered what this world would feel like if we didn’t label the purpose or the need that we have of others, and instead we were compelled to choose very deliberately each time what it is that we value about another before we are able to obtain benefit from them.

    Would that be the cure for the pandemic of consumerism? Would it finally rid us of our inclination to see people as a means to an end?

    Or is even that an ideal so far fetched that only the most naive would buy into it?

  • Selflessly selfish

    Selflessly selfish

    We’re only as selfless as our need to serve.

    But our need to serve is the greatest form of selfishness that we can offer the world.

    We’ve heard it all before. There is nothing so selfless that it is not selfish.

    We serve our ego when we serve others.

    Or perhaps the one that connects the most is that we need validation for our goodness, and that’s why we give of ourselves.

    Either way, we wouldn’t offer ourselves to others if we didn’t believe that we had something of value to share with them.

    Similarly, we wouldn’t want to share something of value if there wasn’t a part of us that wanted to see them benefit from that value that we may be able to create for them.

    Let our selfishness be our need to serve others. Even if our ego is stroked in the process, let it not be stroked at the expense of their dignity, and let us not be fulfilled at the expense of our humility.

    And never let self doubt prevent you from sharing the unique gift of who you are with the world.

  • Wisdom with purpose

    Wisdom with purpose

    Acquiring knowledge without implementing it is like hoping to quench your thirst while standing in the rain.

    Seeking to understand is great, but only if we apply that understanding in the way we treat others.

    Similarly, acquiring technical knowledge may feed our fascination, but fulfilment lies in using that knowledge to create something of substance that offers value to others.

    I think it was Al Ghazzali that said, “Why accumulate more knowledge if you don’t practice on the knowledge that you have?”

  • Blind rage

    Blind rage

    Sometimes we get so caught up in our anger at the world that we lose sight of the fact that our anger feeds the very same cycles that we’ve grown to despise.

    Don’t get angry.

    If you can influence positive change, do it. If not, walk away.

    Insisting on rage after you’ve realised that you are unable to influence positive change is an indulgence of your ego and not a righteous protest.

    It’s not worth it.

    The rage within often blinds us from the oppression that we impose on others.

    The rage starts to build up after we’ve experienced oppression at the hands of others, but if left unchecked, it eventually clouds our judgement as we seek vengeance from anyone that reminds us of those who treated us badly.

    When you find a reason to rage at every assumed threat, peace becomes elusive and bitterness takes over.

    Find a balance between righting the wrongs and inspiring others to rise above your own experiences, otherwise all you’ll be left with is rage and no fulfilment, nor peace in this lifetime.

  • Need help to de-stress?

    Need help to de-stress?

    We all need different things at different times in life.

    It’s part of the growth cycle.

    From beginning to realise what we’re really dealing with, to finding ways to cope with it, to choosing to rise above it, and finally, to no longer be defined by what was once weighing us down.

    These are important stages to be mindful of when choosing your coach.

    Choosing poorly could lead you in the wrong direction, or make you complacent about where you are.

    The most important choice you can make in life is choosing between wanting to feel better about where you’re at, versus choosing to rise above your current challenges.

    If you need help choosing, try the free 30 minute consultation offered to new clients. Get the free voucher details in the product description below.


  • Don’t celebrate the victim

    Don’t celebrate the victim

    Can you tell the difference between those who want to improve versus those who want others to see how brave their struggle is?

    When you wear your heart on your sleeve, it weakens you because your struggle grows to define you.

    If you’re not careful, the sympathy you get from going through a struggle can easily fulfil your need for validation or recognition by others.

    Before you know it, that will become key in your effort to feel significant.

    That’s how our struggles weaken us, because when we stop paying attention, it grows to define how the world sees us.

    We then become willing victims and see no need to grow beyond that struggle.

  • Choose your advisors carefully

    Choose your advisors carefully

    Be careful about advice that makes you feel good but doesn’t resolve anything.

    Things that make us feel good either provides us with an emotional high and feeds our ego, or with a spiritual high and feeds our soul.

    When we strike a healthy balance between the two, we find peace.

    So, be careful of people that only feed your emotional needs, but don’t know how to feed your soul.

    Worse still, be careful about confusing emotional fulfilment with soul food. The one makes you feel good about where you’re at, and the other inspires you to grow beyond where you’re at.

    Therefore, be careful about surrounding yourself with people that protect you from growing.

    Sometimes they do it because they need company, and other times they do it without realising it.

    Either way, you need to be aware of why you’re avoiding growth. Convincing yourself that it’s OK to remain defined by a past experience is just another defence mechanism to protect ourselves from the possibility of being available for another disappointment, betrayal, or loss.

    That’s how we start dying long before death is ready to meet us.

  • When fear serves you poorly

    When fear serves you poorly

    People willingly buy into uninformed theories, or even hearsay, because it validates their fears.

    We need our fears to be validated when we’re afraid of appearing incompetent, or feeling insignificant.

    This is the beginning of the slide towards losing yourself to the opinions of the collective as you focus on belonging more than you focus on being true to yourself.

    For some, isolation is such a daunting thought because they are afraid of discovering who they are, and the risk that they may realise that they’re not good enough.

    You are only as good as you think you are. And if you find yourself convincing yourself about something that has no real substance to make it believable, you’ll find yourself constantly on edge each time that ‘truth’ feels threatened, because you’re afraid that someone else might just expose it to be a lie.

    Be true to yourself, have the courage to face your fears, and don’t follow the herd.

    The path towards peace is not cheap, but it’s worth it.

    #lockdownmemes