Tag: lifecoach

  • Soul food doesn’t feed the ego

    Soul food doesn’t feed the ego

    Be careful about advice that makes you feel good but doesn’t resolve anything.

    Things that make us feel good either provides us with an emotional high and feeds our ego, or with a spiritual high and feeds our soul.

    When we strike a healthy balance between the two, we find peace.

    So, be careful of people that only feed your emotional needs, but don’t know how to feed your soul.

    Worse still, be careful about confusing emotional fulfilment with soul food. The one makes you feel good about where you’re at, and the other inspires you to grow beyond where you’re at.

    Choose carefully.

  • Don’t be a martyr

    Don’t be a martyr

    We act out of duty rather than conviction when the guilty martyr in us triumphs over our courage to be true to ourselves, and just to our souls.

    It is our focus on how we wish to be perceived, or how we need to meet expectations, that distracts us from our self-worth and conviction, and redirects us towards compliance aimed at earning inclusion.

    The problem is, when inclusion is claimed at such a price, we inevitably exclude peace and fulfilment from that effort.

    It is that exclusion of peace and fulfilment that leads us to believe that such sacrifices are noble in order to achieve salvation, or validation.

    What we lose sight of is that our unique contribution…our unique beauty that we are able to share with the world is also sacrificed in the process, leaving the world lacking in the very essence of what drives us towards such distractions.

    Choosing your own path does not mean exclusion. It means choosing your rules of engagement with the world around you.

    If everyone conforms to their assumptions of what is expected of them, rather than contributing what they believe to be sincere and true value, who will be the beacons of inspiration for the generations to come when the purpose of such conformance is lost in the rituals that it spawned?

  • Last words don’t always matter

    Last words don’t always matter

    Last words are only needed when we still care about what others think.

    Hoping to set the record straight about incorrect assumptions that someone may make of us is most often due to us still caring about their opinion of us.

    Importantly though, their opinion will only matter if they still matter to us.

    And they only matter to us if we still believe that they’re capable of being better than who they are, and we still want to influence them to be that better version of themselves.

    This is one of the roots of expectation in our relationships…often relationships that are no longer serving us well.

    And it’s this expectation or need to be influential in their lives that continues to hold us back when trying to move on from a relationship that isn’t working.

    Your self-worth is not dependent on how you are able to influence others. However, it is a reflection of your worth to them.

    Recognise this critical difference and choose dignity and self-respect before you choose to sacrifice yourself in the hope of inspiring their virtues.

    Maintaining hope that they will one day realise what they need to about themselves, without expecting them to trust your input about their potential, is one of the most effective ways to break the hold of the expectations that keep you invested in a bad relationship.

    Letting go of those expectations creates space within you to allow yourself to express to the world your virtues, rather than holding back while waiting for others to appreciate you first.