Tag: sincerity

  • Demand more…of yourself

    Demand more…of yourself

    Unless you believe that you are capable of achieving more, you will always hold on to less.

    That belief is more about feeling worthy than it is about ability.

    Sometimes, we look at how our best efforts were received and assume that the negative outcomes bear testament to the value that we have to offer.

    We then find reason to withhold our contribution in future without pausing to consider that perhaps we invested our efforts in someone who wasn’t ready to value what we shared.

    But, it’s never that simple, is it?

    Often, we continue to invest because we believe in the untapped beauty or value that we see in them.

    It is that belief that anchors us in the ‘if only’ and ‘what if’ scenarios that play out in our heads, while blinding our hearts from the beauty that awaits if only we invested our efforts more wisely.

    At such times, we must look to those who see our beauty, rather than fixating on those who deny their own.

    It’s the only way to break the cycle that diminishes our contribution towards creating joy in our lives, and in the lives of those around us.

  • Fear breeds sadness

    Fear breeds sadness

    Fear creates more sadness than heartbreak ever will.

    Fear keeps us anchored in a moment that has long since passed.

    Fear convinces us that we need to be protected from what we previously experienced, while distracting us from the wisdom and strength that we gained from that experience.

    Fear prompts us to look for signs and evidence that what we fear may once again be approaching, and distracts us from the signs and evidence that what we hope for is within reach.

    Like everything that destroys, fear requires little effort because it is a self-sustaining cycle.

    Hope, on the feet hand, requires courage.

    Hope demands that we reconnect with who we are before that last bitter encounter.

    Hope is not for the meek. When we succumb to fear, the meek prevail and life loses its sweetness.



  • Fearfully hopeful

    Fearfully hopeful

    Patience is only patience when it is the foundation of hope. Not when it is the pacifier of fear.

    Hope is the currency of growth, whereas fear is what breeds decay.

    To patiently await the decay of what we hold dear is not patience, it is surrender.

    To hope, despite the apparent futility that stares us down, is the ultimate rebellion against fear.

    To patiently persevere is therefore to continue fighting for that which brings us love and happiness, especially when the circumstances of our lives will warrant a surrender.

    It is this beautiful patience that holds the promise of a heart filled with love, or a life fraught with pain.

    When we lose sight of the outcome that we hope to achieve, we surrender to fear and settle for the familiarity of the pain that we once yearned to escape.

    Surrender must never be an option.

    Fa sabrun jameel…

    Photo credit: Adobe stock

  • Trading off the best of me

    Trading off the best of me

    If kindness and compassion are a reflection of who we are, there can be no prerequisite for anyone to have to deserve it, or to earn it from us.

    How we express it towards them may take different forms, including tough love.

    But it is our intention behind that tough love, and how we follow through with it, that determines if it was indeed inspired by kindness and compassion, or by anger or frustration.

    The moment we expect someone to earn our kindness, respect, or any other virtue that we claim to possess, we lose that virtue and replace it with arrogance.

    Arrogance is a result of a low self esteem.

    There is no reason to demand recognition of our contribution if we truly appreciate the value of what we contribute.

    Therefore, we diminish ourselves by trading with others that which we should be valuing within ourselves.

    Express the beauty of you despite the bitterness of those around you.

    It may be the very catalyst needed to break the cycle of your life that you so despise.

  • Understanding misunderstanding

    Understanding misunderstanding

    When we find that, despite our sincerest efforts, we continue to be misunderstood, consider that perhaps we need to focus on understanding instead.

    Understanding becomes difficult when we’re gripped with the desperation of needing others to understand how important something is to us.

    That desperation is often driven by fear, or self pity, rather than conviction. And it’s fed by a belief that they simply don’t realise how important it is.

    If we’re not careful, this is how we become the architects of our own misery, or the result of our own self-fulfilling prophecy.

    The greater our emotional investment, the more likely we are to contaminate that space with fear or self pity.

    Creating space for understanding is the most important thing you can do to avoid a potential lifetime of regret.

  • Silent Protest

    Silent Protest

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    A protest that cannot be articulated, is a protest spawned by futility, to feed futility.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    My contempt for what I am presented with is rarely expressed plainly. My reservations to express at all is grounded in years of ridicule and dismissal around issues I have held with great conviction. Experience is a bitter pill, whether swallowed or not. Each cycle of decay results in a shortening of the fuse that prompts us into action. I believe that our response at break point is chosen long before we reach that point. It’s not something that happens instinctively. Instead, it has been internalised for so long that when we do reach that tipping point, no contemplation or deliberation is needed. The response is not intended to be measured. It is intended to finally release the silent protest that we chose not to express outwardly for reasons that suddenly fade from significance.

    Silent protests are born when our pleas for sanity or reason go unanswered in a setting that we feel compelled to embrace. It’s a cry for recognition of who we are and what we need that has fallen on inattentive ears, or calloused hearts, leaving us bound to the commitments we once made, while resisting the urge to respond in kind lest we be reduced to the same stature of that which we have grown to despise. But the contempt is not easily expressed. The contempt is reined in to ensure that the commitment remains the priority. After all, in the absence of the commitment, no such claim of aloofness would be credible.

    So the silent protest plays out, often for years, and assumes a sub-conscious frame of reference that we rarely realise exists. The weightiness sets in, the lethargy overwhelms, the fatigue smothers, and the passion withers. Life ceases to be life at this point. Instead, it steps aside to allow existence to take over. Existence, then, becomes the final protest. It protests the onset of death, denies the potential of life, and secretly yearns for both.

    Breathe. Exhale. Remind yourself why the silent protest started, if indeed you are able to remember, and decide if it is still worth the commitment you are trying to honour. If you can’t remember, then remind yourself about where your passion once flared, and use that as a point to return to in order to retrace your steps to the point where you lost your voice.

  • Cherished to death

    Cherished to death

    When love is a well kept secret, it becomes torturous

    When love is embraced, it emits a glow that keeps the darkness of the world at bay

    When we withhold our love from fear of it not being enough, we destroy the very object of our affection

    Thus, self deprecation cherishes beauty in silence, but leaves to whither and die, the object of its cherishing

    It is the doubts we harbour of our adequacy, that undermines our resolve to be beautiful

    In our efforts to hide from the world our fear, we lose sight of those who see in us what we don’t see in ourselves

    Those same souls who worship our beauty, but are discarded through our fear, are the souls whose hearts we cherish…silently

    Our belief that they do not need our embrace as much as we wish they would embrace us, is what leaves them cherished, but discarded

    Even the most cherished of hearts, if left without a home, will die of exposure.

    Perhaps this is why the good fades from our lives, as we hold on to the bad that we believe is not fair to place as a burden on others…

  • Willingly obliged

    Willingly obliged

    This is most true for religious subscription and cultural heritage, but applies to every relationship in our life.

    Choice inspires willingness because a choice is driven by our belief in the benefit of our contribution towards others.

    Obligation inspires contempt because it is most often associated with the threat of a negative repercussion.

    What drives our choices and our sense of obligation therefore must be considered when we find ourselves growing angry at the thought of non-compliance from others, or the expectation of compliance from ourselves by others.

    It is quite possible to choose consciously to serve an obligation. But that choice must be done willingly and not under duress. Duress turns a choice into an unwilling obligation.

    Fear has a limited life span. Therefore, the moment we establish compliance with a lifestyle or behaviour through fear, we must prepare ourselves for the inevitable backlash.

    Live consciously. Love deliberately. And serve without obligation.

    Perhaps, beloved, in that lies the secret to experiencing peace in this lifetime.