Tag: mindfulness

  • Peace is not the absence of battles

    Peace is not the absence of battles

    When life feels overwhelming, the most effective way to slow things down is to choose our battles.

    Prioritising what’s important over what’s urgent usually sets the tone for what we tolerate or invest our time in, versus what we ignore or postpone.

    However, this only creates capacity to deal with new battles that may arise, it doesn’t create space for peace.

    Peace often remains elusive because we’re still responding to what comes our way rather than shaping what we want from life.

    More importantly, peace begins to feel like the absence of battles. It’s not.

    The absence of battles is just a breather. A break from the struggle. But as long as we know the struggle is waiting for us the moment we finished taking our breather, we won’t experience peace.

    Peace only becomes possible when we break the cycles that keeps inviting battles into our space.

    Breaking that cycle means knowing what we’re doing to feed that cycle of struggles that keep weighing us down.

    This demands emotional mindfulness, because it’s how we feel about what we’re facing that determines how we respond. As long as we focus only on the effectiveness of our response, we won’t be able to consciously choose to stop feeding the cycle that makes that response necessary.

    It’s not as complicated as it sounds. And peace is very achievable, despite having had a lifetime of pain or hardship.

    For more info, check out my website at zaidismail.com or reach out on WhatsApp at +27836599183 for affordable coaching that will bring the change that you so desperately want in your life.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • It’s not always about you

    It’s not always about you

    With due to respect to the author of this quote, I totally disagree with this view. This is why.

    It’s one thing to let someone know that you were hurt by something that they did or said. But it’s something totally different to blame them for hurting you.

    When you make them aware of how you feel about what they did, that’s owning your response and creating an opportunity for them to understand the impact that they have on you.

    When you insist that they hurt you, and deny them the right to say that they didn’t, you impose your belief on their intention behind what they did.

    Why is this important? Simple. The moment you blame someone else for your emotional response, you don’t own your response and instead, you give up your power to own your life. In other words, you become a victim of everyone else’s actions.

    Worse than this, you become the oppressor after feeling oppressed. Or the hurtful one after feeling hurt, because something completely innocent done by someone else becomes tainted with your trigger to that event. Or your bitterness about something that they are not responsible for.

    The same way that you want your emotions to be honoured by others, you need to honour their emotions as well. And you do this by trying to understand why they may do something that is hurtful to you without making it about you.

    Seek to understand. Like someone once told me, not all who claim to love, seek to understand. So just because you claim to love someone doesn’t give you the right to blame them for your hurt. That’s not love. That’s abuse. Abuse of the trust that they place in you.

    You can do better than that.

  • Lost moments

    Lost moments

    The pendulum of time brushes ever so lightly against the arc of eternity, and in that very finite moment of its contact, an entire lifetime is lived. Some are deluded into believing that the pendulum will swing back, realising too late that once the moment is passed, it is lost to eternity.

    For some reason, this thought always chokes me up… :'(

    Why do people take life for granted and wait for ideal moments before allowing themselves to embrace life more fully and sincerely?

    Moments pass so quickly.

    The current trends are to catch moments through meditation, long after the moment is lost.

    Or to reminisce about why it could have been different if only something else was in place at the time.

    The most gut wrenching heartache is caused from moments that held the promise of beauty or peace, but were lost to bad timing, or fear.

    I think the secret to living joyfully lies in trusting those who echo the sentiments in your heart.

    But such a trust is daunting when it was abused by another, and thus courage becomes a prerequisite for trust.

    Discovering the secret of courage then becomes the next pursuit of the heart.

    Breathe, beloved…slow deep breaths. And courage will emerge from the depths where it lays dormant after having been subdued by calloused hands.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Don’t label your struggle

    Don’t label your struggle

    Mental health is about hope. The more hope we have for experiencing joy tomorrow, the better our mental health today.

    The human experience is not an illness.

    The best way to protect your mental health is by recognising your humanness.

    Don’t allow your reality to be labelled as something more than your experience of the ups and downs in your life.

    When you find yourself with more bad days than good days, it’s because you need to do something differently. You need to break a cycle that is not serving you well.

    When you find hope is scarce, or difficult to hold onto, reconnect with your passion and your principles, and trust that it’s not hope that dies, but just our distracted state that makes it difficult for us to sometimes connect with that hope.

    Gently clear away the distractions that have grown to define your state, and reconnecting with hope will come naturally.

    Be kind to yourself first, and not just in physical self care. If you find that difficult to do, , reach out on WhatsApp at +27836599183 or via my website at zaidismail.com for affordable coaching rates.

    Remember, you can’t give what you don’t have. Together, let’s create the life that you’ve always wanted.

  • Never stop chasing

    Never stop chasing

    The thing about chasing dreams, is that it’s our dreams.

    As obvious as that seems, we rarely recognise that no one else will ever have a view of our dreams the way that we have it even if we describe it to them in detail.

    They will visualise it within the context of their lives and limitations.

    By chasing our dreams with conviction, we must connect with the value that will be created when we achieve those dreams.

    It’s that value that will give us the tenacity and resilience to push beyond the doubts and cynicism of those we encounter on our journey.

    To believe in that value, you must believe in yourself.

    Believing in yourself means to develop an informed opinion of who you are, despite what the world may think of you. Because, again, the opinions that others have of you is based on the context and limitations that they see in their lives, not in yours.

    Stop waiting for permission to chase your dreams. Like Barry Hilton said, “It’s your dream to lose.”




  • Who are you?

    Who are you?

    No matter what you do in life, you are always either a benefit or a burden to those around you.

    Your presence or contribution either uplifts them, or weighs them down.

    If you’re not aware of the impact that you have on others, you’ll unwittingly undermine the very goals that you hope to achieve in life.

    Self awareness is not just about being aware of the self, or accepting who we are. More importantly, it is about understanding why we have become who we are.

    Without that understanding, we can make the most sincere intentions and the bravest efforts in our desire to improve our life and the lives of those important to us, but if we’re unaware of the underlying influences that shape who we are, life often becomes a constant struggle rather than a journey of growth and fulfilment.

    Break the cycle of struggles and build the legacy that you want to leave for those around you. Reach out on WhatsApp at +27836599183 or via my website at zaidismail.com for affordable coaching rates and a customised approach that will change your life.

  • The balance of happiness

    The balance of happiness

    Without meaning to, life can become a trading exercise in which we give something with the expectation of receiving something else in return.

    That’s when it gets complicated. When the assumptions of one or both becomes entangled in the belief that happiness lies in a like-for-like exchange of sentiment or gifts, or perhaps effort.

    Sometimes, happiness is found in the opportunity to love without resistance to it.

    The ability to have your expression received graciously and appreciatively, because in such acceptance lies the happiness of the one who gives, and the gracious acceptance forms the expression of love of the one who receives.

    Happiness is found in differing expressions of love creating a beautiful whole.

    It’s when servitude meets devotion, or nurturing meets strength that the two complement each other, rather than compete with each other.

    Happiness is found in the balance that is born from the two, not in trying to create a singular expression between the two as one.

    Too often we assume the happiness of another to be dependent on our active contribution towards them, rather than realising that it is simply our appreciation of their contribution towards us that creates the fulfilment that would calm the souls of both.

    Calm souls create beauty, while anguished souls create destruction. Breathe beloved…just breathe…

    Photo credit: Adobe Stock

  • The gratitude paradox

    The gratitude paradox

    Gratitude is a result of appreciating the absence of something.

    That absence doesn’t have to be experienced, it can also be observed.

    All that is needed is an event or incident that inspires the realisation of what life would be like without the value that we obtain from something. Occasionally it’s from someone.

    It is our aversion to the absence of that value in our life that instils a sense of gratitude for its presence.

    Gratitude is one of those things that apart from it being impossible to insert into another’s heart, it also cannot be given if you don’t have it for yourself.

    When one who takes themselves for granted, or undermines their self worth expresses gratitude, it is more an intellectual acknowledgment of the contribution of another, rather than true gratitude.

    This is easily revealed when such benefit is removed. The one with true gratitude will mourn its loss or even try to reclaim it, while the one who lacked that gratitude for themselves will find it easier to accept that it is what it is.

    Giving up on good is more readily practiced by those who don’t believe themselves to be deserving of such good.

    Thus, the absence of gratitude is not to be cursed. Instead, the pain of the soul that lacks it should be considered so that we may offer healing rather than rejection.