When you surrender your principles in exchange for affection, you give others permission to demand compromises rather than create understanding.
Worse than this, when you make such a compromise, you undermine your worth in the relationship by giving up what you believe in, not because you changed your beliefs, but because you wanted to be accepted.
Instead of upholding your truth, you settle for inclusion by those who don’t subscribe to your truth.
After some time, when the price of that inclusion begins to take its toll, you’ll find yourself adrift without your principles to anchor you, and with the realisation that they never really accepted you in the first place.
How could they if you didn’t reveal to them the truth of who you were?
That’s when life feels empty or burdensome, and anger becomes the tool through which we demand our significance in those relationships because we were hoping that at some point they would see our sacrifice and appreciate us for it, only to discover that our sacrifice was never important to begin with.
That anger is not always directed at those who didn’t appreciate us. Often, it’s directed at ourselves for not being good enough.
Think carefully before you compromise who you are just so that you can fit in. Every compromise comes at a cost. Be sure that you’re willing to pay the cost before you lose yourself in the process.
#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #ownyourshit #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #relationshipgoals #companionship #soulfood #soulmates
Tag: mindfulness
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Don’t sell yourself short
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More than mindfulness
What we respond to reflects our personal values.
How we respond reflects our ego.
Emotional mindfulness is key to getting this right.
Situational mindfulness is knowing which battles to choose. That’s our value system that drives our choices.
Emotional mindfulness is being aware of how we feel when we choose our battles. That’s our self worth that comes into play.
Recognising the difference allows us to be more effective at achieving the positive outcomes that we hope for in life, rather than self-sabotaging because of our insecurities that may contaminate our tone in communicating what we feel strongly about.
Take your mindfulness to the next level.
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#ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #zaidismail #narcissism -
A bitter ache
Just as beauty is born of love, so too is bitterness born of loss.
I wonder what of the troubles of this world is caused by broken hearts, rather than wilful greed?
It is the sense of loss, or inadequacy in the eyes of those most cherished, that our worst behaviour comes to the fore.
But there is value even in that.
If not for still holding on to hope, such an expression of rage or harm would not have any purpose.
It is only when we still have hope of our pain being consequential that we choose to share our discontent with the world.
Therefore, it is not the raging lunatic that is most hurt, but the silent one who has no hope of being seen.
Sometimes their silence is the build up to the storm of destruction that they need to unleash in their final attempt to be heard.
But often, it’s the abandonment of dreams that perhaps the world really needed.
#hope #hopeless #love #loss #abandonment #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #mybeloved #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #zaidismail #anincompletelovestory -
It’s not always betrayal
Betrayal is not always a result of harsh words, lies, or cruel action.
I’ve found that the deepest cuts were always from the silence when words were needed, the restrained sincerity when an embrace was called for, or inaction from those when I looked expectantly towards them while recalling the times they drew on my energy in the moments when I barely had enough to sustain my own spirit.
And I often wonder how many may look at me and feel the same way.
We’re often so focused on what we’re not getting from others, that we don’t pause to consider what they may not be getting from us either.
#mindfulness #inspiration #introspection #reflection #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #zaidismail -
The impossible dream
When home is elusive, the world feels ominous.
A journey to a place you’ve never been holds the promise of peace, despite never having known what peace feels like.
It’s a cry of the soul, in tones and words that no one seems to understand.
But you keep crying, and you keep trying, because something deep inside convinces you that there must be more than this.
If only it was possible to know why this never felt enough, it would be so much easier to figure out why home is still worth searching for.
The impossible dream that is too important to abandon, but too wholesome to feel worthy of it.
It truly is a long longing, for something we imagine would finally reach the deep, dark recesses of our being, and offer it the light it has been yearning since our first breath.
Will the yearning remain even after our last breath?
Or is hope for fools who dare to dream despite living a recurrent nightmare?
#hope #expectation #dreams #whatdreamsmaycome #home #peace #rest #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #zaidismail #mybeloved #depression #suicide #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME -
Don’t be a martyr
We act out of duty rather than conviction when the guilty martyr in us triumphs over our courage to be true to ourselves, and just to our souls.
It is our focus on how we wish to be perceived, or how we need to meet expectations, that distracts us from our self-worth and conviction, and redirects us towards compliance aimed at earning inclusion.
The problem is, when inclusion is claimed at such a price, we inevitably exclude peace and fulfilment from that effort.
It is that exclusion of peace and fulfilment that leads us to believe that such sacrifices are noble in order to achieve salvation, or validation.
What we lose sight of is that our unique contribution…our unique beauty that we are able to share with the world is also sacrificed in the process, leaving the world lacking in the very essence of what drives us towards such distractions.
Choosing your own path does not mean exclusion. It means choosing your rules of engagement with the world around you.
If everyone conforms to their assumptions of what is expected of them, rather than contributing what they believe to be sincere and true value, who will be the beacons of inspiration for the generations to come when the purpose of such conformance is lost in the rituals that it spawned?
#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #ownyourshit #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealth #lifecoach #conviction #purpose #ownyourlife #zaidismail -
Willingly obliged
This is most true for religious subscription and cultural heritage, but applies to every relationship in our life.
Choice inspires willingness because a choice is driven by our belief in the benefit of our contribution towards others.
Obligation inspires contempt because it is most often associated with the threat of a negative repercussion.
What drives our choices and our sense of obligation therefore must be considered when we find ourselves growing angry at the thought of non-compliance from others, or the expectation of compliance from ourselves by others.
It is quite possible to choose consciously to serve an obligation. But that choice must be done willingly and not under duress. Duress turns a choice into an unwilling obligation.
Fear has a limited life span. Therefore, the moment we establish compliance with a lifestyle or behaviour through fear, we must prepare ourselves for the inevitable backlash.
Live consciously. Love deliberately. And serve without obligation.
Perhaps, beloved, in that lies the secret to experiencing peace in this lifetime.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #optimism #zaidismail #peace #mybeloved #obligation #culture #tradition #religion #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME -
Forever hopeful
Hope is born in moments when you have no reason to believe in the moment that is to follow, but something good unexpectedly lands in your lap.
It’s born when that unexpected call changes your life for the better.
It’s born when that stranger smiled an understanding smile in that moment that you thought the world was oblivious to your presence.
It’s born when you wake in the morning and discover that despite your worst premonitions, you have a good day.
Hope can be torturous when the events of your life have given you little reason to believe that the good that you experience will last for more than a fleeting moment.
But, knowing that it’s possible for it to last beyond that brief period of joy is what makes it impossible to ignore the hope that bubbles beneath the surface.
Hope is faith. And faith is hope.
Both are intricately woven into the fabric of our struggles.
When we focus on our struggles only, we lose sight of all those moments that planted the seeds of hope in our hearts so many lifetimes before the present moment.
In forgetting, we burden ourselves with more than the burdens of life. We burden ourselves with the burden of ingratitude as well.
Focus on hope, and faith will have your back.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #optimism #perseverance #motivation #goals #ambition #success #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #zaidismail #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery
