Category: Self Worth

  • Blind rage

    Blind rage

    Sometimes we get so caught up in our anger at the world that we lose sight of the fact that our anger feeds the very same cycles that we’ve grown to despise.

    Don’t get angry.

    If you can influence positive change, do it. If not, walk away.

    Insisting on rage after you’ve realised that you are unable to influence positive change is an indulgence of your ego and not a righteous protest.

    It’s not worth it.

    The rage within often blinds us from the oppression that we impose on others.

    The rage starts to build up after we’ve experienced oppression at the hands of others, but if left unchecked, it eventually clouds our judgement as we seek vengeance from anyone that reminds us of those who treated us badly.

    When you find a reason to rage at every assumed threat, peace becomes elusive and bitterness takes over.

    Find a balance between righting the wrongs and inspiring others to rise above your own experiences, otherwise all you’ll be left with is rage and no fulfilment, nor peace in this lifetime.

  • Don’t celebrate the victim

    Don’t celebrate the victim

    Can you tell the difference between those who want to improve versus those who want others to see how brave their struggle is?

    When you wear your heart on your sleeve, it weakens you because your struggle grows to define you.

    If you’re not careful, the sympathy you get from going through a struggle can easily fulfil your need for validation or recognition by others.

    Before you know it, that will become key in your effort to feel significant.

    That’s how our struggles weaken us, because when we stop paying attention, it grows to define how the world sees us.

    We then become willing victims and see no need to grow beyond that struggle.

  • Choose your advisors carefully

    Choose your advisors carefully

    Be careful about advice that makes you feel good but doesn’t resolve anything.

    Things that make us feel good either provides us with an emotional high and feeds our ego, or with a spiritual high and feeds our soul.

    When we strike a healthy balance between the two, we find peace.

    So, be careful of people that only feed your emotional needs, but don’t know how to feed your soul.

    Worse still, be careful about confusing emotional fulfilment with soul food. The one makes you feel good about where you’re at, and the other inspires you to grow beyond where you’re at.

    Therefore, be careful about surrounding yourself with people that protect you from growing.

    Sometimes they do it because they need company, and other times they do it without realising it.

    Either way, you need to be aware of why you’re avoiding growth. Convincing yourself that it’s OK to remain defined by a past experience is just another defence mechanism to protect ourselves from the possibility of being available for another disappointment, betrayal, or loss.

    That’s how we start dying long before death is ready to meet us.

  • When fear serves you poorly

    When fear serves you poorly

    People willingly buy into uninformed theories, or even hearsay, because it validates their fears.

    We need our fears to be validated when we’re afraid of appearing incompetent, or feeling insignificant.

    This is the beginning of the slide towards losing yourself to the opinions of the collective as you focus on belonging more than you focus on being true to yourself.

    For some, isolation is such a daunting thought because they are afraid of discovering who they are, and the risk that they may realise that they’re not good enough.

    You are only as good as you think you are. And if you find yourself convincing yourself about something that has no real substance to make it believable, you’ll find yourself constantly on edge each time that ‘truth’ feels threatened, because you’re afraid that someone else might just expose it to be a lie.

    Be true to yourself, have the courage to face your fears, and don’t follow the herd.

    The path towards peace is not cheap, but it’s worth it.

    #lockdownmemes

  • Choose your reality

    Choose your reality

    When our circumstances appear unchangeable, we must change our perspective. If we don’t, neither will change.

    Perception shapes our reality, because we can always create an alternate reality, but we can never change reality itself.

    When we look at something and feel overwhelmed by it, we generally find ourselves choosing between two things.

    We either try to find someone to blame for it and hope that we’ll be miraculously saved in the process, or we’ll try to understand it better so that we can identify a way to overcome it.

    The former is a victim mindset. The latter is simply being sensible.

    We need more sensible people. And sensible people are those who are aware of their contribution towards the outcomes that they experience in life.

    Sensibility starts with self awareness, and emotional mindfulness is at the heart of it all.

    #21daystolive #coronavirusmemes

  • Don’t just stay home – introspect

    Don’t just stay home – introspect

    It’s a time to rediscover what we lost when we were taking ourselves for granted.

    This might sound weird, but consider for a second that it’s in taking ourselves for granted that we find reason to take others for granted.

    In doing so, we take things around us for granted and end up committing excesses that harm us, and the environment around us.

    And then we look everywhere else but within ourselves to understand what went wrong.

    Let your lock down period be time to reconnect with what you once appreciated about yourself, and then use that as a reminder to appreciate what you once loved about others around you.

    The world is struggling because of the harshness that exists between us, long before it is impacted by how that harshness plays out in what we take without giving back.

    Start here. Treat yourself kindly, but with good reason. You’ll only discover that good reason when you seek to understand before you judge. Yourself, and others.

    #stayhome #healtheworld

  • Be lazy

    Be lazy

    We need more lazy people.

    People too lazy to be insincere.

    Too lazy to be fake.

    Too lazy to be attention whores.

    Too lazy to live double lives.

    Too lazy to be angry.

    Because face it. All of that requires a whole lot more effort than the alternative.

    Imagine what life would be like if we put all that energy for fakeness into something that actually brings us true joy?

    Not sure where to start? Let’s chat about a coaching approach that is affordable and works for you.

    I do in-person and virtual consultations, so it doesn’t matter where in the world you are. From only US$30 per session, it’s more affordable than you thought.

  • Escaping emotionally abusive homes

    Escaping emotionally abusive homes

    Trigger warning. Unpopular opinion. Tough love ahead.

    It’s not drugs that steal our children from us. Like us, they also need to feel significant.

    Taking drugs is not just a bad habit. It’s a means to escape what we don’t want to deal with in the world around us.

    Is it a bad decision? Absolutely. Because escaping something never resolves it, it only defers it to a later time.

    But, we cannot give what we don’t have. So we can’t give understanding if we don’t understand ourselves.

    Escapism is the pastime of the masses, that’s why we have little to no communication in homes that centre around technology or social media, leaving the young ones struggling to find a space in which they belong, physically and emotionally.

    The emotional connection that they then forge with fellow escapees is what makes drugs the escape of choice.

    If we treat them as addicts, they will behave like addicts. If we deny what is lacking in their emotional make up, we’ll deny ourselves the opportunity to address it.

    It’s never easy. Because we can’t give what we don’t have. That’s why we must invest in ourselves so that we are capable of doing right by those around us. What is your escape?