Sometimes I write to share my insanity, but sometimes I write to save it.
When everything about the world feels unnatural, sanity offers no relief.
Besides, like Vonnegut said, “A sane person, when compared to an insane society, will appear insane.”
I have often considered myself that lone voice of sanity, and in that assumption, I found myself to be insane.
Fulfilment lies in finding one who will embrace such insanity with me.
Despite the search being over, the insanity remains unfulfilled.
#sanity #insanity #reality #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #embracingME #pursuitofhappiness #zaidismail #relationshipgoals #love #loss #fittingin
Tag: love
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Saving my insanity
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Judge me fairly
How often do we build pedestals for people and then judge them for sitting on it?
Judgement is inevitable. It’s how we make sense of our world.
But are we aware of the basis of our judgement?
When we judge anyone or anything, it’s based on our past experiences with troubled souls, and not on the present moment.
The moment we shift our attention to the present moment, we’ll find ourselves seeking to understand, rather than to judge.
That understanding will allow us to shift the basis of our judgement in future, because it allows us to test the knowledge that we gained from our past.
The moment we avoid understanding, we’re responding to the fear of reliving a painful experience, rather than creating a new experience.
Oh, gentle soul, many moments of beauty and joy are lost because of such fear.
Sometimes, an entire lifetime of joy can be discarded because we lose sight of the fear that drives us, and believe it to be our conviction to protect ourselves from a cruel world.
Slow down, beloved. Breathe. You’re in this moment because you rose above your past. Let that be the pedestal from which you look to your future.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #ownyourshit #embracingME #motivation #zaidismail #anincompletelovestory #relationshipgoals #love #gentleness -
Only you
“I’ve been incompatible with anyone else since I met you.”
Sometimes, without warning, someone enters your life and challenges every assumption you ever made about what’s possible.
What you thought you deserved was limited to what you were capable of achieving up to that point, and maybe just a quiet desire to acquire some peace beyond it.
Until they see in you what you thought was your own delusions, and you see in them what you thought were only your dreams.
Once you connect with that truth, nothing can convince you that anything less is what you must settle for.
Settling becomes a vulgar thought, and fulfilment becomes incomplete without them.
When that happens, the distance between love and torture grows, and you find yourself stretched between the two, with only shards of sanity to prevent you from being torn apart.
Those shards will tear at your dreams and taunt your delusions until their embrace is secured.
Until then, life becomes a dyslexic dance with insanity, and love remains elusive.
#hope #expectation #relationshipgoals #companionship #love #affection
#intimacy #life #anincompletelovestory #adancewithdestiny #zaidismail #romance #lovestory #unrequitedlove #soulfood #soulmates -
The beauty of perfection
The beauty of perfection escapes the bitter heart.
Bitterness is the toxin that we hold on to after we experience a betrayal of our trust in another.
Sometimes that trust is so dear, that we hold on to the poison of its mishandling to protect ourselves from ever being vulnerable to such hurt again.
Sadly, in doing so, we also deny ourselves the opportunity to experience the beauty that may be the remedy to heal the wound of that unkind betrayal.
Thus, we anchor ourself in the same past that we wish we could forget, or undo.
Inevitably, the ones who offer the beauty that we need to breathe fully again are the ones who receive the caustic treatment intended to protect us from such future pain.
Without realising it, we pay the pain forward, and become part of the cycle that stole our innocence by destroying the innocence of another.
Break the cycle, beautiful soul. Break the cycle. It will raise your station above the toxic one so that you won’t find yourself looking at the world from their vantage point any longer.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #love #lovestory #lostlove #anincompletelovestory #seizetheday #selfdoubt #selfworth #selflove #relationshipgoals #zaidismail #mybeloved #mentalhealth #betrayal #beauty #perfection -
Allow healing to begin
Don’t wait for someone to speak of your pain before you allow your wounds to heal.
Your wounds will fester and taint everything around you as you look for reason to feel appreciated for the struggle that you have endured, or may still be enduring.
You may even convince yourself that your struggle is important enough to be noticed by those important enough to you.
But, while waiting for them to notice your pain, you suffer.
You stop noticing what is being tainted by your festering wound.
And each time you glare at them, looking for evidence of understanding, and only sometimes finding sympathy instead, you look within and notice that sympathy is only ever a dressing to cover the wound, but never to heal it.
Sympathy only provides a comfortable space in which to nurture the wound, but doesn’t cure it.
A wound caused by betrayal can only be healed through an accepting embrace.
An embrace of everything you were before being wounded, and an embrace that loves everything you are capable of being despite your wound.
An embrace that sees you beyond your wounds, and reconnects you with every innocent belief that you held true, deep within, before that unkind cut gouged your soul.
There is beauty and peace beyond that wound. But only if you allow its healing to be administered by a heart other than the ones who betrayed you.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #ownyourshit #embracingME #motivation #zaidismail #love #betrayal #relationshipgoals #forbiddenlove -
For the love of peace
The night is only as peaceful as the day’s indulgence, and the day’s indulgence is only as focused as the reflections of the night.
What we court in quiet moments reflects our beliefs, but what we pursue in our efforts with others reflects our convictions.
When the two are aligned, sleep becomes a spiritual experience, and love…love becomes a way of life.
When the two are in conflict, life becomes torturous, and love…love becomes our enemy.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #love #companionship #relationshipgoals #peace #serenity #embracingME #zaidismail #anincompletelovestory #alwaysincomplete -
Expecting hope
Expectations are simply hopes with a sense of entitlement.
The reason for our entitlement to the fulfilment of our hopes are many. Most often, they’re based on what we contributed towards others.
Sometimes we want that contribution reciprocated because we don’t want to allow others to treat us unfairly, or to take us for granted.
But sometimes, we hold on to that entitlement because we want the treasures of who we are to be handled with love and gentleness by a specific other.
Both are based on the hope of what the outcome offers us in happiness and fulfilment. Or even just in achieving a sense of significance.
Unfortunately, if expectations are not mutually honoured, it becomes a burden for one, and a prison for the other.
The good news is, both are choices. The burden and the prison. But they weigh us down until we recognise that they’re choices.
More importantly, until we are willing to let go of the choice to hold on after we’ve exhausted all efforts to achieve its fulfilment, it will continue to feel like a burden or a prison that is imposed, and not one that is chosen.
Choose wisely…choose consciously.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #entitlement #gentleness #life #rage #anger #angermanagement #mindfulness #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #happiness #love #companionship
