Tag: gratitude

  • Exhale. Peace is within reach.

    Exhale. Peace is within reach.

    Wisdom is the re-finding of innocence.

    We’re born innocent, but then life happens.

    Almost imperceptibly, our innocence wanes, and our disappointment in life replaces it.

    Focused on remedying our justified gripes with this world, we lose sight of our innocence that once brought us peace.

    Our life then becomes a struggle to regain that peace, sometimes further contaminating our innocence in that effort.

    Until, one day, quite by chance, we realise that peace lies in reconnecting with our innocence.

    And innocence lies in relinquishing our justified claim for justice or retribution.

    Our path then shifts from striving for peace, and instead, discovering why life happened the way that it did.

    In discovering the why, the disappointment and bitterness recedes, and the space once occupied by innocence becomes available once more.

    Thus, innocence is allowed back in, not because we pursued it, but because we allowed it to return.

    Exhale, beloved. The breath you’ve been holding in, waiting for justice, is better spent exhaling the toxins that cloud your heart.

    Let your heart rise. It knows how. We just need to stop weighing it down with expectations of those whose growth is not aligned with our own.

    Exhale, beloved. A breath of peace awaits you.

  • To be loved…truly

    To be loved…truly

    Three things that make us whole…

    To be seen… Beyond the facade. To have the essence of who we are, known to those we trust and hold dear.

    To be heard… Not only when we cry out, but also when we speak gently of the troubles in our heart.

    To be loved… For more than how we make others feel, but to be loved for what we need in return, without having to claim it.

    In that order, because a voice without an identity is not a voice. It’s only a whisper in the wind.

    A face without a voice is only window dressing, or a trophy. And not a complete being.

    And love… Love without a reciprocal embrace…an embrace of what we hold within, as well as what we willingly give, is an empty love that taints towards bitterness, rather than beauty.

    Love beyond lust or infatuation is rare. True love is never abandoned.

    I see you. I hear you. I love you. Three of the most valuable gifts you could ever give. But, you cannot give what you don’t have. For this reason, you must first see, hear, and love who you are, before you will be able to share it with another.

  • For all you unconventional moms

    For all you unconventional moms

  • Don’t be the victim oppressor

    Don’t be the victim oppressor

    Every decision we take has an impact on us, and on those around us.

    If we only consider one side of that equation, we’ll either become victims by denying ourselves of what we need in favour of pleasing everyone else, or we’ll become oppressors by pleasing ourselves and denying the rights of everyone else.

    Finding a balance between the two brings us closer to experiencing joy in our lives.

    When we find that we deny ourselves of what we need, it’s because we’re waiting for someone else to convince us that we’re worth it.

    When we deny others what they need from us, we’re convinced that they don’t deserve us.

    Both mindsets lead to an emptiness that is hard to understand.

    Fulfilment and joy in life is found in striking a healthy balance between the two.

    If you’re struggling to find that balance, check out my books, or connect with me for affordable life coaching sessions.

    Video sessions available to wherever you are in the world.

    More details on my website at zaidismail.com

  • Selflessly selfish

    Selflessly selfish

    We’re only as selfless as our need to serve.

    But our need to serve is the greatest form of selfishness that we can offer the world.

    We’ve heard it all before. There is nothing so selfless that it is not selfish.

    We serve our ego when we serve others.

    Or perhaps the one that connects the most is that we need validation for our goodness, and that’s why we give of ourselves.

    Either way, we wouldn’t offer ourselves to others if we didn’t believe that we had something of value to share with them.

    Similarly, we wouldn’t want to share something of value if there wasn’t a part of us that wanted to see them benefit from that value that we may be able to create for them.

    Let our selfishness be our need to serve others. Even if our ego is stroked in the process, let it not be stroked at the expense of their dignity, and let us not be fulfilled at the expense of our humility.

    And never let self doubt prevent you from sharing the unique gift of who you are with the world.

  • Don’t celebrate the victim

    Don’t celebrate the victim

    Can you tell the difference between those who want to improve versus those who want others to see how brave their struggle is?

    When you wear your heart on your sleeve, it weakens you because your struggle grows to define you.

    If you’re not careful, the sympathy you get from going through a struggle can easily fulfil your need for validation or recognition by others.

    Before you know it, that will become key in your effort to feel significant.

    That’s how our struggles weaken us, because when we stop paying attention, it grows to define how the world sees us.

    We then become willing victims and see no need to grow beyond that struggle.

  • Choose your advisors carefully

    Choose your advisors carefully

    Be careful about advice that makes you feel good but doesn’t resolve anything.

    Things that make us feel good either provides us with an emotional high and feeds our ego, or with a spiritual high and feeds our soul.

    When we strike a healthy balance between the two, we find peace.

    So, be careful of people that only feed your emotional needs, but don’t know how to feed your soul.

    Worse still, be careful about confusing emotional fulfilment with soul food. The one makes you feel good about where you’re at, and the other inspires you to grow beyond where you’re at.

    Therefore, be careful about surrounding yourself with people that protect you from growing.

    Sometimes they do it because they need company, and other times they do it without realising it.

    Either way, you need to be aware of why you’re avoiding growth. Convincing yourself that it’s OK to remain defined by a past experience is just another defence mechanism to protect ourselves from the possibility of being available for another disappointment, betrayal, or loss.

    That’s how we start dying long before death is ready to meet us.

  • Escaping emotionally abusive homes

    Escaping emotionally abusive homes

    Trigger warning. Unpopular opinion. Tough love ahead.

    It’s not drugs that steal our children from us. Like us, they also need to feel significant.

    Taking drugs is not just a bad habit. It’s a means to escape what we don’t want to deal with in the world around us.

    Is it a bad decision? Absolutely. Because escaping something never resolves it, it only defers it to a later time.

    But, we cannot give what we don’t have. So we can’t give understanding if we don’t understand ourselves.

    Escapism is the pastime of the masses, that’s why we have little to no communication in homes that centre around technology or social media, leaving the young ones struggling to find a space in which they belong, physically and emotionally.

    The emotional connection that they then forge with fellow escapees is what makes drugs the escape of choice.

    If we treat them as addicts, they will behave like addicts. If we deny what is lacking in their emotional make up, we’ll deny ourselves the opportunity to address it.

    It’s never easy. Because we can’t give what we don’t have. That’s why we must invest in ourselves so that we are capable of doing right by those around us. What is your escape?