Category: Appreciation

  • Support Indie Authors

    Support Indie Authors

    Thank you Gallo Images for creating opportunities for indie authors and content creators like myself to get exposure.

    As any indie author will tell you, writing the book is the easy part.

    Publishing it is the next part, which is a bit easier than writing it. That’s if you do everything yourself like I do.

    But the most difficult part is getting people to know that your book exists, and to convince them to want to buy it.

    No matter how amazing your writing skills may be, or how enthraling your story, if people don’t know it exists, it will be a brilliant piece of work that is forever undiscovered.

    So efforts like these go a long way towards giving indie authors a fighting chance in the industry against the traditional publishing houses. Or perhaps even to get the attention of those publishers.

    Support an indie author by sharing their content with credits, and by leaving reviews of their work.

    Your small gesture can make a world of difference.

    Thank you.

    Photo credit : Gallo Images

  • The balance of happiness

    The balance of happiness

    Without meaning to, life can become a trading exercise in which we give something with the expectation of receiving something else in return.

    That’s when it gets complicated. When the assumptions of one or both becomes entangled in the belief that happiness lies in a like-for-like exchange of sentiment or gifts, or perhaps effort.

    Sometimes, happiness is found in the opportunity to love without resistance to it.

    The ability to have your expression received graciously and appreciatively, because in such acceptance lies the happiness of the one who gives, and the gracious acceptance forms the expression of love of the one who receives.

    Happiness is found in differing expressions of love creating a beautiful whole.

    It’s when servitude meets devotion, or nurturing meets strength that the two complement each other, rather than compete with each other.

    Happiness is found in the balance that is born from the two, not in trying to create a singular expression between the two as one.

    Too often we assume the happiness of another to be dependent on our active contribution towards them, rather than realising that it is simply our appreciation of their contribution towards us that creates the fulfilment that would calm the souls of both.

    Calm souls create beauty, while anguished souls create destruction. Breathe beloved…just breathe…

    Photo credit: Adobe Stock

  • The gratitude paradox

    The gratitude paradox

    Gratitude is a result of appreciating the absence of something.

    That absence doesn’t have to be experienced, it can also be observed.

    All that is needed is an event or incident that inspires the realisation of what life would be like without the value that we obtain from something. Occasionally it’s from someone.

    It is our aversion to the absence of that value in our life that instils a sense of gratitude for its presence.

    Gratitude is one of those things that apart from it being impossible to insert into another’s heart, it also cannot be given if you don’t have it for yourself.

    When one who takes themselves for granted, or undermines their self worth expresses gratitude, it is more an intellectual acknowledgment of the contribution of another, rather than true gratitude.

    This is easily revealed when such benefit is removed. The one with true gratitude will mourn its loss or even try to reclaim it, while the one who lacked that gratitude for themselves will find it easier to accept that it is what it is.

    Giving up on good is more readily practiced by those who don’t believe themselves to be deserving of such good.

    Thus, the absence of gratitude is not to be cursed. Instead, the pain of the soul that lacks it should be considered so that we may offer healing rather than rejection.

  • Understanding vs Judgement

    Understanding vs Judgement

    There are two types of people in this world.

    Those who appreciate our efforts for trying to achieve good things.

    And those who ignore our efforts and judge us for failing.

    The ones who appreciate the effort recognise their own path towards growth, and empathise with the struggle and aspirations of others. This inspires them to uplift and guide gently, although firmly at times.

    The ones who judge others for failing are bitter about not having had such support when they failed on their path of growth, and therefore feel a need to highlight the shortcomings of others so that they may draw attention to their own successes, or their struggles.

    This prompts them to be harsh and uncompromising in their feedback and expectations from others.

    Being aware of which one of these you are can shift the dynamic of your life from one of toxic competition, to one of peaceful perseverance.

    The choice you make will have a profound impact on the quality of your life, and your relationships with those around you.

    Photo credit: Adobe Stock

  • Demand more…of yourself

    Demand more…of yourself

    Unless you believe that you are capable of achieving more, you will always hold on to less.

    That belief is more about feeling worthy than it is about ability.

    Sometimes, we look at how our best efforts were received and assume that the negative outcomes bear testament to the value that we have to offer.

    We then find reason to withhold our contribution in future without pausing to consider that perhaps we invested our efforts in someone who wasn’t ready to value what we shared.

    But, it’s never that simple, is it?

    Often, we continue to invest because we believe in the untapped beauty or value that we see in them.

    It is that belief that anchors us in the ‘if only’ and ‘what if’ scenarios that play out in our heads, while blinding our hearts from the beauty that awaits if only we invested our efforts more wisely.

    At such times, we must look to those who see our beauty, rather than fixating on those who deny their own.

    It’s the only way to break the cycle that diminishes our contribution towards creating joy in our lives, and in the lives of those around us.

  • Fleeting Thoughts X

    Fleeting Thoughts X

    If I were to write without restraint, would you see my soul or judge my sanity?

    Sanity is elusive when it competes with the heart.

    The heart is not satiated by the intellect, and the intellect cannot reason with the heart. They both swim in their own orbits.

    Like the sun and the moon, each orbit complements the other and are never truly isolated in their purpose.

    Purpose is recognised when we look beyond the fear and connect with the value that we hold within.

    The value we hold within is only considered valuable if it is allowed to create something larger than the sum of our lives.

    The sum of our lives must serve more than us, or else it feels inconsequential.

    To be of consequence is the heart of fulfilment.

    To share what we have is the root of fulfilment.

    Gratitude is the fulfilment of fulfilment.

    Fulfilment is denied when gratitude is withheld in the face of expectation.

    Expectation threatens our composure when we doubt our significance.

    Our composure is dependent on our perception of our flaws.

    We focus on our flaws and ignore the one who appreciates those flaws to be the very reason why we’re enough because we doubt our significance.

    Self-loathing is spawned by our belief that we’re flawed, rather than the reality that we’re human.

    To see our humanness requires us to gaze upon ourselves with empathy.

    Empathy is subdued through a life of dutiful servitude.

    Servitude denies our right to need or to expect, but cherishes our responsibility to fulfil the needs and rights of others.

    Rights and needs are most often claimed but seldom respected.

    When we forsake our rights and subdue our needs, we lose the sweetness of life and focus validation from others instead.

    Validation from others distills into bitterness as we grow aware of the conditional nature of such validation.

    Bitterness is the fruit of shame, and shame is born from judgement.

    Judgement demands that we view ourselves through the eyes of others, while wearing the lens of our own self-loathing.

    It is through this contaminated frame of reference that we shape our contribution to the world, and then judge the world harshly for not recognising our effort.

    Our contribution is first done selflessly, then selfishly. Trust is lost between the two motives.

    When trust is lost, love is abandoned and hope departs.

    When love and hope are absent, life’s passion is dulled, and servitude beckons.

    Servitude is the true opium of the masses because servitude deflects attention away from our worth, and directs attention to our utility.

    Utility is the saving grace of a life unfulfilled.

  • Depression is not an illness

    Depression is not an illness

    I realise that this is a highly contentious point. But we must recognise the elephant in the room before we are able to deal with it.

    The myth that depression is an illness causes more harm than the good it’s intended to achieve.

    Depression is the absence of hope. Preceding that is the saturation of failed expectations from those we consider significant in our lives.

    Like happiness, depression is not a choice. But, also like happiness, depression is an outcome of the collective choices that we make.

    The more aware we are of those choices, and importantly the consequences of those choices, the more consciously we are able to make decisions to break the cycles that result from those choices.

    The moment we label a human experience as an illness or a disorder, we create victims rather than masters of our emotional experience, thereby disempowering us in our efforts to rise above the unpleasant experiences of our lives.

    Depression is not an illness. It is a legitimate human experience in response to bad experiences in life.

    When we begin to recognise this, it becomes possible to reconnect with our humanity, rather than to surrender to an imagined illness.

  • Trading off the best of me

    Trading off the best of me

    If kindness and compassion are a reflection of who we are, there can be no prerequisite for anyone to have to deserve it, or to earn it from us.

    How we express it towards them may take different forms, including tough love.

    But it is our intention behind that tough love, and how we follow through with it, that determines if it was indeed inspired by kindness and compassion, or by anger or frustration.

    The moment we expect someone to earn our kindness, respect, or any other virtue that we claim to possess, we lose that virtue and replace it with arrogance.

    Arrogance is a result of a low self esteem.

    There is no reason to demand recognition of our contribution if we truly appreciate the value of what we contribute.

    Therefore, we diminish ourselves by trading with others that which we should be valuing within ourselves.

    Express the beauty of you despite the bitterness of those around you.

    It may be the very catalyst needed to break the cycle of your life that you so despise.