Tag: compassion

  • Are you grateful for you?

    Are you grateful for you?

    Whenever asked about gratitude, the inevitable response is one that is focused on everything we have around us.

    Sometimes, we consider our health and our skills.

    At other times we recognise the value of things not being as bad as they could have been.

    And we convince ourselves that this is being grateful.

    But how often do we stop to contemplate gratitude for the traits and attributes that we have which makes our appreciation of all of that possible?

    How often do we stop to appreciate the essence of who we are, and the tough and selfless choices that we made under difficult circumstances, when we could easily have taken the selfish or easy way out?

    This is not about judging the choices that we’ve made, but about recognising how we still showed up, with conviction, to do our best to make something good out of a bad situation.

    You cannot nurture that which you don’t acknowledge to be true. So how are you going to nurture the value of who you are, if your gratitude is only focused on what you have?

    Striking a balance between selfishness and gratitude for the self is what makes the difference between being defined by your struggles in life, versus defining the outcomes of the struggles of your life.

    You won’t be able to determine the difference if you lack gratitude for who you are, and what your contribution is towards improving the state of your life, and the lives of those around you.

    The next time you contemplate what you’re grateful for, be sure to include yourself in that moment of reflection.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Don’t be your own enemy

    Don’t be your own enemy

    You undermine yourself when you doubt your ability to accomplish something for no reason other than fear.

    When you allow the uninformed opinions of others, or their disrespect to define how you feel about yourself, you undermine yourself.

    When you settle for less because you believe you’re unworthy of better, you undermine yourself.

    Each time you shy away from being who you believe you are capable of being, you undermine yourself.

    If you find yourself doing these things, don’t complain when you feel like you’re being taken for granted.

    You’ve effectively told others that it’s OK because of the way you treat yourself.

    Treat yourself with kindness and commitment before you can expect others to do the same.

  • Be what you need

    Be what you need

    In a world that is demanding attention all the time, it’s easy to get caught up in what we need from others while ignoring what they need from us.

    Our humanness is often celebrated for ourselves, but set aside in our expectations from others.

    We all need sympathy and compassion, but are hesitant to give others the benefit of the doubt when they fall short in giving us what we need from them.

    The same way that we must seek to understand why we sometimes disappoint ourselves or others, we need to afford others the same consideration when they disappoint us.

    We all have our demons that we’re fighting, but we each succumb to different ones.

    Just because we’ve reigned over one of ours doesn’t mean that everyone else should be able to overcome the same demon in their lives.

    The next time you find yourself demanding compassion or understanding from others, pause for a moment to consider why it is that they may seem incapable of being compassionate in that moment.

    They may just be struggling with something themselves and don’t have the capacity to do more than they’re already doing.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Farewell, it wasn’t fun

    Farewell, it wasn’t fun

    Goodbye to a year that has defined new depths of beauty and pain, and left its mark somewhere adrift between the two, leaving an ambivalence of hope and hopelessness, where once there was certainty.

    Nothing changes after midnight tonight. But the token of 2021 may give some hope, while the rest brace themselves for a continuation of the struggles of a year that most would want to forget, but everyone will always remember.

    Including the heartless who believe that being right about the pandemic is more important than being compassionate about the suffering that it continues to cause.

    We have a long way to climb to get ourselves out of this cess pool of humanity that we find ourselves in.

  • Be gentle…to you

    Be gentle…to you

    When you treat the vulnerable or the gentle ones with contempt, you create the same monsters that made you.

    The moment that we realise what we assume to be our nature is in fact a product of our upbringing, we’ll be able to make conscious decisions about who we want to be.

    Sometimes, we place so much emphasis on respecting our emotions that we prevent ourselves from seeking answers as to our emotional response.

    Humanness is not found in being infinitely understanding, but in balancing that understanding with decisive and purposeful action.

    Striking that balance becomes more difficult when raised on a diet of self-doubt and fear.

    That self-doubt and fear drives us towards paying forward what we may have received at the hands of similarly struggling souls.

    Mindfulness about this state is the only chance of breaking that cycle of harshness or pain.

    Be kind to yourself. Begin by seeking to understand what shaped you into who you are, so that you may be able to choose consciously who you want to be.

  • Empathise

    Empathise

    Empathy is expressed when we desire for others what we wish to have for ourselves.

    Sometimes, it’s something we have, and we hope that others will be able to enjoy the same value and benefit that we enjoy from it.

    Sometimes, it’s what we don’t have, yet we hope that we may be able to contribute towards others having it, despite having no reason to believe that we’ll be able to experience it ourselves.

    Empathy is founded in our desire to alleviate our struggles that we see in someone else’s life.

    That struggle could be something we currently experience, or something that we have experienced before.

    It is core to our humanness, and only gets tainted when we respond with bitterness, hoping to see others suffer or struggle in the same way as we may have. Either at their hands, or at the hands of those whom they represent in our life.

    Empathy is the difference between peaceful acceptance, and bitter vengeance.

    Like that old proverb says, a bitter heart eats its owner.

    Protect your heart from the bitterness of this world by practicing empathy instead.

  • Trappings of Entitlement

    Trappings of Entitlement

    Ingratitude seeps in when you look for evidence of deliberate kindness despite there being no evidence of cruelty from others. We’re so conditioned to find goodness against the backdrop of evil, or generosity in the midst of selfishness, that we’ve grown to believe that only the evidence of deliberate kindness is an indication of care or concern from others.

    Most often, it’s the restraint of anger or the withholding of harshness that is more evident of the kindness that lurks beneath, because it means that someone in an anguished state still recognises your worth enough not to dump their harshness onto you.

    When we feel entitled to overt expressions of kindness, we automatically take for granted all the servitude that we receive without complaint or expectation of reciprocation. Being mindful of the small things always reveals the bigger things that we should value. Be mindful of your blessings.

    [This is deeper than I realised]

  • Delusions of Godliness

    Delusions of Godliness

    The delusion of godliness diminishes our capacity to connect with the divine. When we assume ourselves to be above those that behave worse than us, or we assume that we hold within us the capacity and means to punish others, or withhold their reward, be it in this world, or the hereafter, we assume to hold divinity within us. This is even more detrimental when we impose punishment or apportion reward to ourselves. Understanding is grounded in compassion, and there is nothing closer to divinity than compassion and mercy. Consider this the next time you view yourself or others with harshness.