Category: Philosophy

  • A peaceful fight

    A peaceful fight

    Insanity is subjective.

    So is truth.

    The less we remember this, the more likely it is that we will oppress.

    To pass judgement without understanding reflects our insanity.

    To restrain judgement until we reach understanding reflects our search for truth.

    These two positions define the efforts of our days and the contemplations of our nights.

    And mindfulness is lost between the two.

    Striking a balance becomes the true pursuit of life if we hope to taste peace.

    But balance is only achievable if we know how much of each is valuable as our days progress.

    The enemy of mindfulness is distraction.

    The friend of mindfulness is therefore being consciously purposeful.

    You may not always be able to rein in your thoughts, but you can make a habit of reflecting, in the moment, if you are being purposeful regarding your objective.

    Live consciously and purposefully, and life will be woven into a relatively peaceful tapestry without fighting for peace.

    Sometimes, it’s the fight that denies us the peace that we yearn, while we yearn for peace as we fight.

    Pause.

    Choose your battles.

    Or else you’ll always be at war, blaming others for the choices that you make.

    And remember, if you’re trying to be mindful, you’re distracted.


  • The meandering twists of fate

    The meandering twists of fate

    Betrayal is not always a result of harsh words, lies, or cruel action.

    We’re often so focused on what we’re not getting from others, that we don’t pause to consider what they may not be getting from us either.

    The deepest cuts are those that are inflicted when we trust someone to be there, but they walk away instead.

    It’s when our rock in this world goes silent when we desperately need to hear their comforting voice.

    The searing edge of the blade of betrayal is when we repeatedly make excuses for others failing us, but we’re discarded the moment we have a moment of weakness.

    When there is inaction from those towards whom we look expectantly while recalling the times that they drew on our energy in moments when we barely had enough to sustain our own spirit, we find ourselves holding on, desperately clawing with both hands, to the remnants of the shards of our broken spirit, knowing that only we will be there for us, with the only solace needed being our trust in the One who created us.

    People fail us for the same reasons that we may fail others.

    It doesn’t make it right.

    It doesn’t make it wrong.

    It makes us all flawed humans who sometimes succumb to the demons of the past, while oblivious to the demons we just spawned in another because we were distracted.

    Striking a balance between recognising their humanness, while allowing ourselves to be human, while protecting ourselves from the impact of their demons, while grappling with our own demons is what defines the struggle of life, and the devastating risk of love.

    But we do it anyway, because without it, what would be the point of life?

    reflection

  • Surviving sucks

    Surviving sucks

    I see too many people take pride in being a survivor, which in itself is not the biggest problem.

    The problem arises when that act of survival defines you for the rest of your life.

    When a traumatic event, or an abusive relationship, defines you beyond the immediate impact of experiencing it, you keep it relevant long after its occurrence.

    We surrender our lives to the efforts of survival when we lose sight of our ability to change our circumstances as we wait for change to arrive.

    What’s worse is that we don’t realise that those who are not showing up for us are likely in survival mode themselves.

    That’s how we do to others what has been done to us without realising that we’re part of that cycle.

    While we’re ‘surviving’ or waiting, those who have rights over us to show up for them as fully formed humans are denied the experience of feeling significant because we treat them as duty.

    But, more important than this, it’s not their ignored rights that is the greatest oppression.

    Taking for granted our ability to create ease and joy despite our backdrop of struggles is the worst oppression against ourselves.

    That’s the greatest loss of all.

    Nothing compares to the loss of opportunity to contribute towards the sweetness of life for yourself and for others.

    Not even death compares, because in death there is no life waiting to be lived.

    In death there is no need to create joy or to experience the wonderment of life.

    Yet so many yearn for death because of a tormenting moment from the past, while discarding their ability to create joy because of the horrors caused by troubled souls.

    That’s how we become equally troubled and repeat their mistakes in our own unique way while lamenting the burden of existence, forgetting that we gave up on life itself.

    Regret and sorrow has its place only as long as it spurs us into action, otherwise it ceases to be about what happened to us and becomes an indulgence of self-pity because we need our struggle to be appreciated.

  • You judge others as you judge yourself

    You judge others as you judge yourself

    Judgement is easy.

    Understanding, empathy, compassion…not so easy.

    It only gets easier when we are capable of treating ourselves with kindness.

    But that isn’t as easy as it sounds.

    In fact, many of our efforts at kindness are harmful because we’re distracted from recognising what prompts our deliberate acts of kindness. Towards ourselves, and towards others.

    The moment anything is done deliberately and isn’t a natural consequence of our value system instinctively driving our behaviour, the risk of it being self-serving is very high.

    It’s like doing the right thing because it’s expected of you, rather than because you believe it’s the right thing to do.

    The moment no one expects you to do it, you have no reason to continue doing it.

    The same with empathy, compassion, and understanding.

    If we do it because we would want someone to do it for us if we were in their position, then it’s self-serving.

    When we have no reason to expect anyone to treat us in such gentle ways, we’ll easily stop treating others well as part of our protest against the world that is seemingly treating us badly.

    That’s when judgement becomes easy.

    The more aggressive or blatant we are about how we judge others, the more desperately it reflects our need for our struggle to be appreciated by others.

    You are responsible for your self-worth.

    The moment it is dependent on how others treat you, it’s not self-worth.

    You cannot give what you don’t have.

    That’s why you can only give what you have.

    Your unwarranted judgement of others reveals how harshly you judge yourself.

    Own it. And you may just be able to own your life.

  • Trading in human suffering

    Trading in human suffering

    When we set out to give someone a voice or to create a platform for them, we create a crutch for them.

    Just like our voice is ours to claim, so is theirs.

    When we slip into silence, usually from self-pity, we allow others to speak on our behalf, and then complain if they don’t do justice to our plight or if they abandon our cause, creating room for more self-pity.

    Empowerment should not be a cliché that creates an opportunity for us to shine as beacons of hope for others.

    Empowering or uplifting others is an act of charity, and charity is not supposed to benefit its giver because then it becomes a business transaction.

    Charity is also supposed to be done so secretly that your left hand should not know what your right hand is doing.

    Not because of the importance of secrecy, but to protect the dignity of the beneficiary of your charity, and to protect your intentions from being tarnished by trading with someone’s dignity to improve your social standing.

    More than all this, when someone is given something as opposed to being enabled to create it for themselves, they develop a sense of entitlement to receive what is being given and have no reason to connect with the innate ability that they have to create.

    This denies them the sense of fulfilment and accomplishment which is critical towards establishing self-esteem and should subsequently allow them to claim their dignity.

    A bleeding heart isn’t always a generous one.

    Most often, it’s a selfish one with good intentions.

    Be mindful of the consequences of your good actions that may be intended to uplift while creating reliance and disempowerment instead.

    And for this reason, please don’t use the pitiful state of the weak and destitute as marketing collateral to raise money to supposedly restore their dignity.

    That is the most horrible contradiction of them all.


  • A distracted populace

    A distracted populace

    When popular opinion prevails over the wisdom of the ages, fear greatly for the next generation.

    We live in times when good appears as evil, and evil appears as good.

    When standing up for something on a basis of principle is dismissed as idealism, and the path of least resistance is seen as the only sensible thing to do.

    When respect is confused with good manners, and sincerity is confused with being polite.

    When the worst of us leads, and the best of us are ridiculed for expecting more.

    When we look to the past with rose coloured spectacles, we lose the essence of the effort that created that past, while believing that nostalgia is all that it offers.

    When we surrender to the thinking that times have changed, we lose sight of the fact that we’re changing the times.

    That’s how the feeble-minded gain popularity through stroking the egos of the masses, while the masses are deluded by their social media feeds into believing that they’re being progressive.

    And in the midst of all this ridiculousness, we have a generation that is lost, yet horribly confident about everything that is lacking in substance but full of self-gratification.

    It is going to be a disastrous day when they realise that self-gratification was in fact a coping mechanism for self-loathing, and life grew empty as they lost their connection with their roots, their cultural heritage, and their identity.

    Assimilation has never fed the soul, it only ever destroyed our sense of self.

    A society that demands assimilation is a society that is doomed to failure because it already lacks the substance and the credibility to deal with differences.

    The future cries in anticipation of what we’re producing in the present.

    When will we awaken from being so woke?

  • A destined misery…or is it?

    A destined misery…or is it?

    Are you sightseeing while wishing that what you see could be your reality?

    Most often, it is our belief in what we deserve that limits us more than what we actually deserve or are capable of achieving.

    In fact, considering what we deserve or don’t deserve is a distraction most likely grounded in self-pity or entitlement, neither of which changes reality.

    Couple that with resigning your fate to destiny and you have a recipe for misery.

    It’s like waiting up all night to witness an amazing sunrise only to give up as the first streaks of dawn appear, followed by convincing ourselves that it was our destiny not to see the sunrise.

    No. Destiny is the sum total of the choices that you make with the opportunities that present themselves to you.

    If you’re too distracted to notice those opportunities, or lack the courage to embrace it, that’s your choice, not destiny.

    The only thing that can reasonably be blamed on destiny is the consequences that affect us of the bad decisions that others make.

    Likewise, they are confronted with the fateful outcomes of our poor decisions, or our inaction to improve things.

    How we respond to that which is out of our control is a reflection of who we are and what we value about life.

    Don’t settle for less and then blame the world for not treating you fairly, or for not allowing you to have the life that you want.

    You only accept or pursue that which you believe you deserve, or that which is safe for you to pursue when you’re distracted by what others think of you.

    That’s why most of us settle for the dawn because we believe that we’re undeserving of the majestic sunrise.

    It always starts with you.

    Not with destiny.

  • Live the life that you have

    Live the life that you have

    Having dreams and goals are great, but not if it robs you of the beauty of what you have.

    Like it has been said, there is nothing so bad that there is no good in it.

    Similarly, no matter how desperate or miserable life appears, there is always something to be grateful for, or something to be excited about.

    The more we invest in the future, the less we connect with the present.

    Most often, our investment in the future is to protect us from something that happened in the past.

    Past, present, future – they’re all relevant.

    But, as always, moderation and balance is important.

    It’s the moments of joy and accomplishment that gives us hope for how the future can be better than what we have now.

    However, if we’re so fixated on creating that future that we desire, we may lose sight of the fact that the present ease or comfort that we have relative to what we had before, is in fact that future that we’ve been striving to create.

    But here’s the real kicker.

    It’s only through embracing the reality, the opportunity, the joy, or the pain of the present moment that we are able to do something constructive with it that will contribute towards that future that we desire.

    The future is the very next moment after the moment you’re in.

    It’s not some distant point in time.

    Don’t confuse investing in long term goals with living the life that you have.

    Otherwise you’ll put your life on hold without any guarantee that your goals will be reached, thereby losing both.

    Work with what you have.

    Be purposeful with what you have.

    And the future will take care of itself.

    It always does.