When we set out to give someone a voice or to create a platform for them, we create a crutch for them.
Just like our voice is ours to claim, so is theirs.
When we slip into silence, usually from self-pity, we allow others to speak on our behalf, and then complain if they don’t do justice to our plight or if they abandon our cause, creating room for more self-pity.
Empowerment should not be a cliché that creates an opportunity for us to shine as beacons of hope for others.
Empowering or uplifting others is an act of charity, and charity is not supposed to benefit its giver because then it becomes a business transaction.
Charity is also supposed to be done so secretly that your left hand should not know what your right hand is doing.
Not because of the importance of secrecy, but to protect the dignity of the beneficiary of your charity, and to protect your intentions from being tarnished by trading with someone’s dignity to improve your social standing.
More than all this, when someone is given something as opposed to being enabled to create it for themselves, they develop a sense of entitlement to receive what is being given and have no reason to connect with the innate ability that they have to create.
This denies them the sense of fulfilment and accomplishment which is critical towards establishing self-esteem and should subsequently allow them to claim their dignity.
A bleeding heart isn’t always a generous one.
Most often, it’s a selfish one with good intentions.
Be mindful of the consequences of your good actions that may be intended to uplift while creating reliance and disempowerment instead.
And for this reason, please don’t use the pitiful state of the weak and destitute as marketing collateral to raise money to supposedly restore their dignity.
That is the most horrible contradiction of them all.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #theegosystem #ownyourlife #charity #destitute
Tag: charity
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Trading in human suffering
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Wow! Look at me now…
Of all the things that test our resolve, the acquisition of knowledge is the most important.
It’s easy to get lost in the praise and social elevation that accompanies achievements such as professional qualifications, religious standing, or even business success.
And because each of it demands a lot of personal sacrifice and discipline, the feeling of entitlement to its rewards takes root without much effort at all.
Especially since there are many who would treat us with privilege because of their need to be associated with such social standing, or success.
However, that’s when we lose ourselves to the trinkets and luxuries that accompanies such success.
That’s when we lose ourselves to the power and influence that such social standing offers.
That’s when the true tests of our convictions and our value systems present themselves.
Not only does it matter how we treat people after enjoying such accomplishments, but more importantly, how we utilise the resources that we have access to, including the social structures of privilege that we belong to, that determines the true value of our accomplishments.
A healthy self-esteem is the only grounding point to prevent such erosion of values or ethical standing.
A healthy self-esteem, not an inflated ego, is what will keep us focused on how much more good we can achieve, or value we can create for those who cannot benefit us, so that we don’t squander our success or opportunities on self-enrichment or extravagance of lifestyle.
The sweetness of life lies in the upliftment of others.
It’s the only accomplishment that doesn’t leave us chasing for validation or acceptance.
It’s rooted in gratitude for who we are and what we have.
Without such gratitude, we forever chase opportunities to subdue the fear of inadequacy.
It always starts with you.
#greed #ethicalcorruption #corruption #selfworth #selfloathing #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #philanthropy #charity #abuse #narcissism #narcissiticabuse -
Selflessly selfish
We’re only as selfless as our need to serve.
But our need to serve is the greatest form of selfishness that we can offer the world.
We’ve heard it all before. There is nothing so selfless that it is not selfish.
We serve our ego when we serve others.
Or perhaps the one that connects the most is that we need validation for our goodness, and that’s why we give of ourselves.
Either way, we wouldn’t offer ourselves to others if we didn’t believe that we had something of value to share with them.
Similarly, we wouldn’t want to share something of value if there wasn’t a part of us that wanted to see them benefit from that value that we may be able to create for them.
Let our selfishness be our need to serve others. Even if our ego is stroked in the process, let it not be stroked at the expense of their dignity, and let us not be fulfilled at the expense of our humility.
And never let self doubt prevent you from sharing the unique gift of who you are with the world.
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When an act of charity becomes business
If I do good, it will come back to me in unexpected ways. No. It won’t. The streets are full of homeless bodies and souls that have done good, but it wasn’t returned. Or are we suggesting that those that are in a bad state have done no good? This transactional view of life is becoming more popular each day, and it does nothing good for the one that holds this view.
We do good because we want others to experience less hardship than we did, not because we want to be repaid in some way with another good. Well, at least that is why we should be doing good. Not to earn a reward, but to reduce someone else’s pain or suffering, or simply to enrich their life. If enough people do this, inevitably it will lead to someone doing good for you as they seek to enrich your life out of sincerity, or they may wish to alleviate your burden because they know what it is like to be in a similar position when they may have had less. But that is something that we have no control over. The way that cycle of paying it forward plays out is entirely dependent on the generosity of every soul involved in that cycle. It is not business. It is not a tit-for-tat exchange of deeds. The moment it becomes an expectation of receiving something in return for what you do, you are transacting for gain. That is not charity, nor is it generosity. It is self-serving.
The selfish motivations that prompts us to give charity so that we can be seen as charitable, or doing good so that we can be seen as benevolent is nothing more than food for the ego, not for the soul. And it’s a poisonous meal as well. Eventually we will find ourselves measuring the value of people in our lives based on what they do for us, rather than how they enrich our lives. The sad part is that most don’t know the difference.
When someone enriches your life, they don’t necessarily contribute directly to your personal needs, but they make a meaningful contribution to how you experience your world. A simple example would be a spouse or family member that expresses love and appreciation for your children. That is not something that replaces your contribution to your children, but it is something that improves your child’s self-worth. That in turn improves the quality of life that you have with them. Although their act of kindness was not directed at you, it enriched your life, so you should not have reason to withhold kindness from them.
The irony is that the ones that perpetuate this myth about the universe returning the good that you do are the same ones that would typically believe that integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is looking. While that may be true about the definition of integrity, it loses its authenticity when we find reason to shout out to the world how much integrity we have.
One lesson that has served me well in life is that you should always be weary of someone that finds every gap to mention their own virtues. They are looking for validation, and people that require validation that badly almost always compromise principles and values to get it. Such people will not think twice about betraying your trust or confidence if it means getting that validation from others. Choose your company carefully. -
Madrassa for the Blind
If you’re looking for a worthy cause that is in need of support, consider Madrassa An-Noor for The Blind. They’ve been producing really great work in support of blind Muslims with the Qur’an published in braille, and numerous Islamic publications also made available in braille and other formats that can be used by the visually impaired. They are able to accept contributions from international donors as well.
I’m sure they’ll appreciate any help they receive, Insha-Allah.
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Plight of the Rohingya Muslims
nuzrat reblogged your video: We keep seeing the plight of the Rohingya Muslims…How can Bangladesh help…Rohingya? Bangladesh has big problems
With respect, who doesn’t have big problems? When we see our problems as being bigger than the problems of those around us, we become self-absorbed and lacking in compassion.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“Every Muslim has to give in charity.”
The people then asked: “(But what) if someone has nothing to give, what should he do?”
The Prophet replied: “He should work with his hands and benefit himself and also give in charity (from what he earns).”
The people further asked: “If he cannot find even that?”
He replied: “He should help the needy who appeal for help.”
Then the people asked: “If he cannot do (even) that?”
The Prophet said finally: “Then he should perform good deeds and keep away from evil deeds, and that will be regarded as charitable deeds.” – Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 2, Hadith 524
Here’s another hadith that confirms the importance of charity:
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Save yourself from hellfire by giving even half a date-fruit in charity.” – Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 2, Hadith 498
I’m sure that the issue is not as simple as can be described in a single post, but to have that kind of attitude from a supposed leader of a Muslim nation when talking about what is acknowledged to be the most persecuted group of ethnic minorities in the world, is just arrogant beyond belief. There are countless NGO’s that would assist Bangladesh in their support of the Ronhingya Muslims if requested, including non-Muslim NGO’s, so I find it difficult to accept the position of the Bangladeshi PM in this issue.
Edit: I just read the full text of your note after you reblogged that video. The house of Saud are pathetic beyond belief. They’re probably one of the biggest usurpers of the wealth of the Ummah, and are known to treat even their own citizens despicably. So it’s amazing how so many can insist that they’re beyond reproach. I guess, as much as this may sound idealistic, I’m sure there are many that can testify to the fact that when we give to others in need, Allah increases our own sustenance from sources we never imagined. Perhaps the Rohingya are a test to the Muslims of Bangladesh, and if treated correctly, could attract the mercy of Allah for themselves? This reminds me of the hadith where the Prophet (SAW) used to offer what little he had to his guests even though he himself was starving.
