Category: Philosophy

  • Every mind can be healed

    Every mind can be healed

    TRIGGER WARNING:

    If you prefer a victim mindset, don’t read further.

    This is an extremely important reminder given the horribly unhealthy mindset that this meme encourages.

    There is no such thing as a broken mind.

    There is a struggling human, and there is good reason to feel duress, even debilitating duress.

    Understanding the reasons for feeling that way empowers you to process it in a healthy and meaningful way, and to rise above it.

    The moment you convince yourself that an emotional experience cannot be overcome, you will prove yourself right.

    Not because it cannot be overcome, but because you are looking for all the evidence that confirms why it cannot be overcome, instead of looking for evidence that provides insight towards overcoming it.

    Perspective is especially critical when it comes to mental health and processing emotional trauma.

    No human is broken.

    And every mind can be healed.

    When we convince ourselves that we’re broken or that we can’t be healed, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy, because what we set out to achieve is what we’ll achieve.

    Besides, it’s not the physical pain of physical abuse that sticks with us, it’s the mental and emotional anguish that it leaves that haunts us.

    Memes like this are well meaning, but they cause more harm to our mental health than they offer benefit or relief.

    Be careful what you take from the Internet.

    Good intentions have destroyed many lives.

    If you want to learn how to heal yourself, get a copy of Own Your Life and discover the power of understanding your emotions, rather than judging it.

    Choose your advisors carefully, and please, for the love of everything sacred, do NOT believe every meme that resonates with your emotional space.

    It will destroy you.

  • Pitying yourself because of your self-pity

    Pitying yourself because of your self-pity

    When we realise the impact that our self-pity has on those around us, we’ll discover that we’re part of the cycle that leads to us feeling sorry for ourselves.

    Focusing on what we don’t have distracts us from all the opportunities that are possible with what we do have.

    Similarly, focusing on who we are not, distracts us from all the amazing things that we are capable of because of who we are.

    The root of this problem of self-pity lies in two things.

    We compare ourselves to others.

    And then we assume to know what they think of us because of how they treat us.

    Any comparison we make must be focused on learning and growing by observing in others what is possible within ourselves.

    It must be a source of inspiration to constantly improve, not because we’re deficient, but because we’re capable of more.

    Any focus on what others may think of us must be driven by our need to measure our effectiveness in our efforts to impact their lives in the way that we intended to.

    And any consideration of what is implied by how they treat us must include our understanding, or at least our effort towards understanding, what they may be grappling with in their own life that causes them to behave badly towards us.

    Ingratitude is formed within us when we diminish the value of what we have because we’re fixated on everything that we don’t have.

    You can’t build a life with what you don’t have.

    You can only create something with what you do have.

    Start there.

    Or else you won’t start at all.

    It always starts with you.

  • When gratitude becomes a transaction

    When gratitude becomes a transaction

    When we lack gratitude for who we are but wish to feel grateful, we surround ourselves with things and people who don’t expect more from us than we expect from ourselves.

    To do this, we must push away those who believe that we’re capable of more.

    Focusing on proving your gratitude, to yourself and to others, is ingratitude.

    Gratitude is like humility, or happiness.

    Gratitude is not a choice, nor is it an attitude.

    Gratitude is a state of being.

    It’s a deeply profound connection that we have between who we are and what we desire to improve in the world around us.

    The distraction comes in when we focus on improving that world around us because we want to be appreciated, or because we want to appear generous, or benevolent in some way.

    However, these choices are rarely, if ever, conscious choices that we make.

    The ones who are consciously putting up a front will reveal clear signs of self-loathing in their physical state.

    That’s why the ones who are trading acts of gratitude to compensate for their lack of self-worth will put in that much more effort in how they show up physically, while fading away the moment someone looks deeper than their facade.

    Self-loathing is ever more destructive when we blame others for how we feel about ourselves, because most often, we lash out dry, or discard, the ones who built us up in the first place.

    Self-loathing destroys more than just your peace.

    It also destroys the peace of those who care enough to want you to be in a better space.

    It always starts with you.

  • Are you really passionate?

    Are you really passionate?

    They say that there is no limit to what a man can do if he doesn’t care who gets the credit for it.

    Right there is the reason why most of us don’t achieve our dreams.

    We chase validation more than we pursue excellence.

    When we don’t get that validation, we give up our dreams and rage at the world instead.

    Waiting for others to validate your efforts, or to buy into your dream before you pursue it yourself means that you aren’t truly convinced about the value of it in the first place.

    However, when we get to that point, we try to convince ourselves that we could’ve been great if only…

    The reality is…our main reason for wanting to achieve it was what we hoped it would draw in appreciation or praise from others, and not because we truly wanted to create something of value to us.

    Needing validation is a human trait.

    We need to feel appreciated, or understood, or celebrated even.

    However, none of that comes from chasing for it.

    It comes from people connecting with the value of who we are and what we create in the world around us.

    When we give up on our dreams because of the absence of support from others while we’re trying to achieve it, we deny them an opportunity to experience the value of what we believed in.

    Worse than this, we deny ourselves the opportunity to experience the joy of creating something of value because we found it valuable, and not because we needed to be noticed.

    Life feels empty, despite our successes, when we rely on the reactions from others to encourage us to pursue what’s important to us.

    Are you really passionate about your dream, or are you hoping it will attract people into your life?

    If you’re not investing in you, why should anyone else?


    Own Your Life.

  • Your perspective may be your undoing

    Your perspective may be your undoing

    Site Icon
    Your perspective may be your undoing

    Internal conflict is the greatest contributor to misery.

    And misery or stress is felt most deeply when we’re at odds with ourselves, which affects our health because of that internal conflict.

    It is stress that always precedes any physical ailment that forms as a chronic illness within our body.

    And expectations are at the core of stress.

    We experience the most stress when what we believe others expect from us conflicts with what we expect from ourselves because it feels like they’re being unreasonable or as if they’re trying to set us up fry fail.

    But we only stress if we lack the ability or confidence to correct their expectations, or to adjust our own.

    That confidence is rarely developed in the moment of being challenged.

    Confidence comes from the credibility that we develop in ourselves after experiencing the positive outcomes of being true to ourselves.

    That means that as long as we avoid being true to ourselves because of the fear of rejection or ridicule, we won’t give ourselves an opportunity to prove ourselves.

    In other words, when we hold back because we try to fit in, we drift further away from confidence, and closer to being defined by what others think of us.

    That’s how we become miserable, because life becomes a chase for acceptance and validation.

    Accomplishments then lack sweetness or fulfilment unless someone else acknowledges the value of what we accomplished.

    But even then, we won’t truly connect with the joy and gratitude of such accomplishments because our fulfilment is found in receiving validation from others, and not in the beauty of who we are.

    It always starts with you.

    Own Your Life.

  • Life is nothing without gratitude

    Life is nothing without gratitude

    Site Icon
    Life is nothing without gratitude

    Gratitude is only possible if you’re present in the moment you’re in.

    Fear distracts us from the present moment by reminding us of the past and tainting our experience of the present.

    It’s when we look for evidence in the present moment of the causes of pain from our past, that we find reason to protect ourselves from the future, while missing the value of the present.

    Many of life’s beautiful moments are lost because we’re waiting for someone to recognise our struggle, or to make up for our pain.

    It’s not about whether you deserve better or not.

    It’s about whether you do better with what you’ve got.

    Putting your life on hold while waiting for justice or revenge only puts YOUR life on hold. No one else’s.

    When you finally realise this, you either have reason to rage even more because you suddenly noticed how everyone else’s lives moved on while you still haven’t received justice, or you have reason to realise that it’s your life that is being wasted for a moment that has already passed.

    By all means, seek justice if need be.

    However, don’t cause further injustice to yourself and to those who have rights over you by destroying the good you have while waiting for the bad to be avenged.

    Gratitude is impossible when we’re fixated on the past.

    And happiness is impossible if we’re afraid of the future.

    It always starts with you. Now.

    Own Your Life.

  • Avoiding life is waiting for death

    Avoiding life is waiting for death

    Sometimes, avoiding drama seems like the only possibility of experiencing peace.

    But, that’s like saying that as long as we’re not sad, we must be happy.

    We know that’s not true.

    The absence of unpleasant events in our life may give us reason to be grateful for not having them, but it doesn’t mean that we’ll feel fulfilled or content with the life that we have.

    That lack of contentment is what leaves us feeling uneasy or restless, knowing that we should be grateful that it could be worse, but also knowing that there must be more to life than just the avoidance of drama, or the fulfilment of responsibility.

    We weren’t created to maintain a status quo.

    Since birth, we were driven towards progress and improvement, and stagnation felt like a threat to the joy of life.

    Because it is.

    Stagnation kills our spirit and convinces us that there is nothing much to look forward to.

    If every day seems like a repeat of the day before, what then becomes the purpose or reason to want to rise to a new day?

    Avoiding unpleasant outcomes is only enough to avoid unnecessary trouble, but it doesn’t mean growth or fulfilment.

    If you want to experience the sweetness of life, you need to go beyond avoiding things, and instead, start embracing new experiences, new ideas, and new concepts.

    You must be improving the quality of life of those around you, and not just your own.

    Fulfilment and joy is experienced from seeing the face of another light up because of your contribution towards their life, it’s not through seeing an extra digit on your bank balance.

    That bank balance means nothing if it doesn’t bring joy or upliftment to those around you.

    And not having someone to share your joy with is like witnessing a beautiful sunset, by yourself, each day, every day, until witnessing the sunset by yourself feels inconsequential.

    That’s what the absence of drama is like.

    It feels empty and pointless, because there is no point to a life of stagnation.

    Own Your life.

  • If you think you can’t, then you won’t…

    If you think you can’t, then you won’t…

    Archive Post… I can’t count how often I’ve been told, “Not everyone is like you!”

    That comment was usually in response to me encouraging them to do better or to rise above what was troubling them.

    You see, the assumption that a weak person makes is that some people are gifted to be more successful than others.

    The reality though, is that we all have the same potential.

    Some just realise that waiting for permission to be capable in their own right is a waste of life. So they own their contribution towards what they want to achieve.

    Unfortunately, too many convince themselves that they’re not built that way. That they’re not as gifted or that no one understands what they’re going through.

    But, like Henry Ford said, “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

    Sadly, too many think that they can’t, and then blame the world for the state in which they find themselves.

    We place limitations on ourselves most often out of spite, rather than because we truly believe we’re limited in some way.

    Do you know why spite? Because there are too many that will refuse to do something for themselves just because someone they don’t like, or don’t respect suggested that they should do it.

    It’s a result of a low self-worth car causes us to focus more on what others may think of us, than what we think of ourselves.

    That’s why emotional maturity is so important, and emotional maturity is impossible without self-awareness.

    Worrying about what others think of you is a distraction from self-awareness.

    With so many people distracted, it’s little wonder that most don’t know how to own their life.

    It always starts with you.