Tag: lifecoaching

  • Why wait?

    Why wait?

    The most common distraction that prevents us from reaching our goals is waiting for others to take responsibility for our wounds.

    I’m not saying that they may not be responsible for the betrayal or the hurtful way in which they treated us. No.

    What I’m saying is that waiting for them to own their contribution towards our state is a waste of life.

    Whose life? Yours! Your life is wasted away with every moment that you put your life on hold because you need someone else to step up and be better towards you, or to appreciate or respect you.

    It’s OK to leave a space open for them to occupy in your life. But it’s not OK to demand that they fill that space.

    The moment you demand such investment from them, you taint the sincerity with which they show up in your life, and you create a burden where once there was an opportunity for peace.

    And the reason we do this is simple. We do it because we hope that when they realise how significant they are to us, we may grow to be more significant to them.

    That’s how we lose ourselves while waiting for others to make us feel better about what they did to us, or what we need from them.

    Life is too short to spend it waiting for better days. Own your life, and allow others to own theirs. And if that results in a beautiful space being created between you two, then cherish it.

    And if not, then cherish the opportunity to create space for the right person to fill that space in your life instead.

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  • Protect your dream

    Protect your dream

    How often do you hold yourself back while waiting for someone else to believe in you first?

    When venturing into a new domain, or taking that bravely bold step to reinvent yourself, don’t be disheartened when you find that those you thought closest to you do not support you.

    Those closest to us are invested in the version of who they know us to be, and therefore find it difficult to appreciate the vision that we may have for ourselves if that vision is a revolution of who we are, rather than a gentle evolution of who they want us to be.

    Sadly, this is often true for many in our circle of significant others. Be they family or lifelong friends, sometimes our goals are a threat to their low self-esteem.

    If you don’t connect with authenticity and sincerity to the value of what you want to create in your life, you will be easily deterred by the doubts or objections of others.

    You are the only person that will ever create your legacy. Let that legacy be one of courage and conviction in leaving this world in a better state than it was before you arrived.

    Maintaining the status quo may keep the peace with family and friends, but it will leave you with storms of incompleteness in your soul that no one will ever be able to pacify.

    Beloved. Be bold. Be brave. Be purposeful. And never sell yourself short to appease the meek.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Know your place

    Know your place

    What if it wasn’t about the struggles, but about what we lost sight of that created those struggles?

    What if 2020 was needed to tamper our arrogance, or to test our gratitude?

    To remind us of the mortality of our dreams, and the reality of our shortcomings?

    To give us reason to pause and observe, rather than race on with assumptions?

    To remind us of our place in this world, as we persisted in acquiring that which we did not earn?

    2020 was a year of brutal truths and harsh realities.

    Of love and loss, and joy and grief. Like every other year of our lives.

    Only, in 2020, we were significantly constrained in our ability to distract ourselves from these grounding realities.

    2021 will be no different because the change in year doesn’t change our reality.

    Our reality only changes when we change our perspectives.

    If nothing else, let the gift of 2020 be a healthier perspective about life, and about your self.

    Oh, and remember to breathe…

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Choose your company…wisely

    Choose your company…wisely

    Choose your company carefully.

    The peace of mind and sense of belonging for which you yearn could easily turn out to be the reason for your anguish.

    There is rarely a day that passes without me reading or hearing about someone who invested years, if not decades of their life, to people who were not invested in the relationship.

    When the reality of that betrayal finally hits home, it destroys our spirit and convinces us that we’ve sacrificed the best years of our life while having nothing more to look forward to.

    Nothing could be further from the truth.

    The same way we were able to create beauty in such a desolate landscape, we must recognise that the best of us that we gave was simply the truth of who we were. And are.

    The moment we discard that because it was discarded by an ingrate who was looking for servitude of their ego when they could have had love for their essence, we become ingrates just like them.

    Don’t trade who you are for who they were. It’s never a fair trade. You owe yourself more than that.

    And self-pity will only ever prevent you from being true to yourself.

    Breathe, beloved…even when that breath threatens to prolong the agony of your life. Breathe. And embrace the beauty of who you are despite the ugly of who they were.

    That’s how we take back the gift that they discarded so that we may be able find a more fitting recipient.

    As long as you’re breathing, there’s always hope.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Own your demons

    Own your demons

    When faced with the brutal aggression or harshness from another, it’s easy to convince ourselves that they treat us that way because of how they feel about us.

    Unless we’ve done something to specifically provoke them by treating them in a way that undermines their dignity or the trust that they placed in us, their behaviour is not because of who we are to them, but rather because of what we represent from their past.

    The victim rarely expresses their rage at an overwhelming aggressor, so such rage builds up until they find a safe space in which to release it.

    That safe space is someone who they can control or subdue. Someone who reminds them of their inadequacy which sends them into a blind rage to want to protect themselves from ever feeling inadequate again.

    Because that’s what anger is. That’s what rage does. It’s a defence against being vulnerable, or feeling abused, neglected, or taken for granted.

    Recognising these signs in others will save you the anguish of questioning your self worth, and more importantly, it will save others from becoming the outlet of the rage that builds up within you because of the ill treatment that you received at the hands of someone else’s demons.

    Break the cycle, beloved. Breathe. Take stock. And reclaim your voice that was surrendered to the angry battles that were not of your doing.

    If you’re struggling to reconcile your experiences at the hands of a troubled soul, or if you’re trying to understand the source of the rage that threatens to destroy everything good in your life, reach out and let’s work through it together.

    Contact me via WhatsApp on +27836599183 or via my website at zaidismail.com and together we can create the life that you’ve always wanted.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Uniquely you

    Uniquely you

    When trying to fit in feels burdensome or overwhelming, it may be time to consider that you were created for a purpose greater than just imitating the behaviour of others.

    Recognising the uniqueness of who we are becomes difficult if we spend our lives focused on meeting the expectations of others in the hope that we will be accepted.

    When we withhold our uniqueness from fear of being ridiculed or rejected, we also deny others the opportunity to experience what is unique about us.

    Striking a balance between being true to ourselves and finding a space for ourselves in this world is therefore important.

    Claiming our space without consideration for how it is received undermines the value that we hope to create in the lives of others.

    It’s through sharing our uniqueness with that of others that we are able to create a new beautiful whole, whereas fitting in with everyone else only maintains the status quo.

    Joy is found in striking a balance between being true to your uniqueness, while creating space in your life for the uniqueness of another.

    Be true to yourself, but always be purposeful, and authentic.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Naturally you…only more beautiful

    Naturally you…only more beautiful

    Sometimes, we grow so fixated on our appearance that we forget that it’s that very fixation that causes blemishes.

    Our bodies are most at balance and ease when our emotional balance is optimal.

    There is no single definition of what optional means because we’re all unique in what we take from life, and what we aspire to create within it.

    The moment we focus on our aesthetics, we lose sight of what makes us unique, and risk losing ourselves to the validation of our appearance from others.

    This starts a vicious cycle of our physical form requiring more maintenance and nurturing than it would naturally need, convincing us that our focus on our physical state is reflective of how we care for our spiritual or emotional state.

    Simply stated, balance of beauty comes from within, whereas imbalance of spirit comes from without.

    OK, perhaps that wasn’t so simple, so here’s one more attempt to explain this simply.

    When you focus on your appearance, you will lose sight of your essence. Of the substance of who you are.

    Focus on your substance and your appearance will become a natural and beautifully balanced expression of who you are that will require no extended beauty regiments, and instead will leave you glowing without the need for synthetic products.

    It’s a while lit lies effort and much cheaper to maintain as well, with sustainable results.

    Struggling to find that balance? Reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183, and let’s get you on track to creating the life that you’ve always dreamed of.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Who are you?

    Who are you?

    No matter what you do in life, you are always either a benefit or a burden to those around you.

    Your presence or contribution either uplifts them, or weighs them down.

    If you’re not aware of the impact that you have on others, you’ll unwittingly undermine the very goals that you hope to achieve in life.

    Self awareness is not just about being aware of the self, or accepting who we are. More importantly, it is about understanding why we have become who we are.

    Without that understanding, we can make the most sincere intentions and the bravest efforts in our desire to improve our life and the lives of those important to us, but if we’re unaware of the underlying influences that shape who we are, life often becomes a constant struggle rather than a journey of growth and fulfilment.

    Break the cycle of struggles and build the legacy that you want to leave for those around you. Reach out on WhatsApp at +27836599183 or via my website at zaidismail.com for affordable coaching rates and a customised approach that will change your life.