Blog

  • Fearfully hopeful

    Fearfully hopeful

    Patience is only patience when it is the foundation of hope. Not when it is the pacifier of fear.

    Hope is the currency of growth, whereas fear is what breeds decay.

    To patiently await the decay of what we hold dear is not patience, it is surrender.

    To hope, despite the apparent futility that stares us down, is the ultimate rebellion against fear.

    To patiently persevere is therefore to continue fighting for that which brings us love and happiness, especially when the circumstances of our lives will warrant a surrender.

    It is this beautiful patience that holds the promise of a heart filled with love, or a life fraught with pain.

    When we lose sight of the outcome that we hope to achieve, we surrender to fear and settle for the familiarity of the pain that we once yearned to escape.

    Surrender must never be an option.

    Fa sabrun jameel…

    Photo credit: Adobe stock

  • Trading off the best of me

    Trading off the best of me

    If kindness and compassion are a reflection of who we are, there can be no prerequisite for anyone to have to deserve it, or to earn it from us.

    How we express it towards them may take different forms, including tough love.

    But it is our intention behind that tough love, and how we follow through with it, that determines if it was indeed inspired by kindness and compassion, or by anger or frustration.

    The moment we expect someone to earn our kindness, respect, or any other virtue that we claim to possess, we lose that virtue and replace it with arrogance.

    Arrogance is a result of a low self esteem.

    There is no reason to demand recognition of our contribution if we truly appreciate the value of what we contribute.

    Therefore, we diminish ourselves by trading with others that which we should be valuing within ourselves.

    Express the beauty of you despite the bitterness of those around you.

    It may be the very catalyst needed to break the cycle of your life that you so despise.

  • Understanding misunderstanding

    Understanding misunderstanding

    When we find that, despite our sincerest efforts, we continue to be misunderstood, consider that perhaps we need to focus on understanding instead.

    Understanding becomes difficult when we’re gripped with the desperation of needing others to understand how important something is to us.

    That desperation is often driven by fear, or self pity, rather than conviction. And it’s fed by a belief that they simply don’t realise how important it is.

    If we’re not careful, this is how we become the architects of our own misery, or the result of our own self-fulfilling prophecy.

    The greater our emotional investment, the more likely we are to contaminate that space with fear or self pity.

    Creating space for understanding is the most important thing you can do to avoid a potential lifetime of regret.

  • Silent Protest

    Silent Protest

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    A protest that cannot be articulated, is a protest spawned by futility, to feed futility.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    My contempt for what I am presented with is rarely expressed plainly. My reservations to express at all is grounded in years of ridicule and dismissal around issues I have held with great conviction. Experience is a bitter pill, whether swallowed or not. Each cycle of decay results in a shortening of the fuse that prompts us into action. I believe that our response at break point is chosen long before we reach that point. It’s not something that happens instinctively. Instead, it has been internalised for so long that when we do reach that tipping point, no contemplation or deliberation is needed. The response is not intended to be measured. It is intended to finally release the silent protest that we chose not to express outwardly for reasons that suddenly fade from significance.

    Silent protests are born when our pleas for sanity or reason go unanswered in a setting that we feel compelled to embrace. It’s a cry for recognition of who we are and what we need that has fallen on inattentive ears, or calloused hearts, leaving us bound to the commitments we once made, while resisting the urge to respond in kind lest we be reduced to the same stature of that which we have grown to despise. But the contempt is not easily expressed. The contempt is reined in to ensure that the commitment remains the priority. After all, in the absence of the commitment, no such claim of aloofness would be credible.

    So the silent protest plays out, often for years, and assumes a sub-conscious frame of reference that we rarely realise exists. The weightiness sets in, the lethargy overwhelms, the fatigue smothers, and the passion withers. Life ceases to be life at this point. Instead, it steps aside to allow existence to take over. Existence, then, becomes the final protest. It protests the onset of death, denies the potential of life, and secretly yearns for both.

    Breathe. Exhale. Remind yourself why the silent protest started, if indeed you are able to remember, and decide if it is still worth the commitment you are trying to honour. If you can’t remember, then remind yourself about where your passion once flared, and use that as a point to return to in order to retrace your steps to the point where you lost your voice.

  • Ephemeral existence…

    Ephemeral existence…

    Life, more than anything else, is about perspective.

    In moments of struggle, we’re inclined to look back on the many times that we were weighed down in life.

    Sometimes we reminisce about the good times, but from a place of hopelessness believing that we may never experience it again.

    At such times, it feels like life is long and dreary.

    But when we connect with joys from the past, and hope to recreate even greater joys in future, the fleeting nature of life is impressed upon us.

    Our need to focus on the bad experiences is an attempt at protecting our fragile hearts from having to face such heartache or disappointment again.

    Focus on the joys, and suddenly we connect with our ability to smile in the face of trials, and to reconnect with joy even after the gravest disappointment.

    Breathe, beloved…our default state is joy, if only we’ll embrace it more than we hold onto the fear. A joyful life is always still possible as long as there is breath left in our lungs.












  • Fear or hope? Choose wisely

    Fear or hope? Choose wisely

    Fear drives us towards protecting ourselves from a difficult past, while convincing us that we’re investing in a better future.

    If we were truly investing in the future, fear of the past repeating itself would not feature in our efforts towards growth and new beginnings.

    It is fear that manifests as illness or disease in our bodies, before any external threat overcomes us.

    Fear robs us of what we have in the present moment.

    When the present moment is lost, the future becomes a mirror into the past.

    The cycle of fear is perpetuated as we find evidence of the past threatening to contaminate the future…and so the spiral continues until either it breaks, or we do.

    When fear drives us, we look for, and find evidence that confirms our fears.

    When we look for evidence that invalidates the fear, we’ll find reason to forge ahead with hope and courage, recognising that harbouring hope is already confirmation of our courage to rise above the fear.

    What will you choose today?













  • Blessed are the few…

    Blessed are the few…

    Blessed be the gentle ones who love too fiercely,

    Accept too easily

    And hope endlessly.

    The ones torn between duty and love

    Or responsibility and passion

    The ones who sacrifice quietly

    But celebrate others loudly

    The ones who when sad

    Find joy in making others smile

    Who serve willingly

    But expect none in return

    Blessed be they,

    For they are the whispers of the heavenly breeze

    Amidst the howling dogs.










  • A bitter ache

    A bitter ache

    Just as beauty is born of love, so too is bitterness born of loss.

    I wonder what of the troubles of this world is caused by broken hearts, rather than wilful greed?

    It is the sense of loss, or inadequacy in the eyes of those most cherished, that our worst behaviour comes to the fore.

    But there is value even in that.

    If not for still holding on to hope, such an expression of rage or harm would not have any purpose.

    It is only when we still have hope of our pain being consequential that we choose to share our discontent with the world.

    Therefore, it is not the raging lunatic that is most hurt, but the silent one who has no hope of being seen.

    Sometimes their silence is the build up to the storm of destruction that they need to unleash in their final attempt to be heard.

    But often, it’s the abandonment of dreams that perhaps the world really needed.