Those who respect your victim-hood do so because it makes them feel better about themselves.
They either feel more accomplished, or they find comfort in the familiarity of your struggle.
Sometimes it gives them purpose in their need to uplift others so that their lives feel more fulfilled.
Whether their intentions are good or not is not what’s important. The important point is that neither prompts you to rise above being a victim.
Those who support you in your moments of weakness or need but also encourage you to rise above it are the ones to cherish.
Before you take offence to what I’m saying, you need to realise that you’re only a victim when you allow the oppression of others to define your self worth, and to dictate your effort towards establishing a life worth living.
The moment you own your life and rise above the impact of that oppression, you’re no longer a victim, you’re a fighter! Not a survivor!
As long as you focus on surviving, you’re still defined by the moment of your oppression, even though you may have freed yourself from it.
Be more than the struggles of your life. It’s possible, and beautifully rewarding.
Photo credit : Naadirah Ismail
#hope #expectation #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #mybeloved #zaidismail #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #narcissism #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticparents
Tag: ownyourlife
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Do more than survive
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Don’t sell yourself short
When you surrender your principles in exchange for affection, you give others permission to demand compromises rather than create understanding.
Worse than this, when you make such a compromise, you undermine your worth in the relationship by giving up what you believe in, not because you changed your beliefs, but because you wanted to be accepted.
Instead of upholding your truth, you settle for inclusion by those who don’t subscribe to your truth.
After some time, when the price of that inclusion begins to take its toll, you’ll find yourself adrift without your principles to anchor you, and with the realisation that they never really accepted you in the first place.
How could they if you didn’t reveal to them the truth of who you were?
That’s when life feels empty or burdensome, and anger becomes the tool through which we demand our significance in those relationships because we were hoping that at some point they would see our sacrifice and appreciate us for it, only to discover that our sacrifice was never important to begin with.
That anger is not always directed at those who didn’t appreciate us. Often, it’s directed at ourselves for not being good enough.
Think carefully before you compromise who you are just so that you can fit in. Every compromise comes at a cost. Be sure that you’re willing to pay the cost before you lose yourself in the process.
#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #ownyourshit #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #relationshipgoals #companionship #soulfood #soulmates -
More than mindfulness
What we respond to reflects our personal values.
How we respond reflects our ego.
Emotional mindfulness is key to getting this right.
Situational mindfulness is knowing which battles to choose. That’s our value system that drives our choices.
Emotional mindfulness is being aware of how we feel when we choose our battles. That’s our self worth that comes into play.
Recognising the difference allows us to be more effective at achieving the positive outcomes that we hope for in life, rather than self-sabotaging because of our insecurities that may contaminate our tone in communicating what we feel strongly about.
Take your mindfulness to the next level.
More info on zaidismail.com.
#ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #zaidismail #narcissism -
Fear breeds sadness
Fear creates more sadness than heartbreak ever will.
Fear keeps us anchored in a moment that has long since passed.
Fear convinces us that we need to be protected from what we previously experienced, while distracting us from the wisdom and strength that we gained from that experience.
Fear prompts us to look for signs and evidence that what we fear may once again be approaching, and distracts us from the signs and evidence that what we hope for is within reach.
Like everything that destroys, fear requires little effort because it is a self-sustaining cycle.
Hope, on the feet hand, requires courage.
Hope demands that we reconnect with who we are before that last bitter encounter.
Hope is not for the meek. When we succumb to fear, the meek prevail and life loses its sweetness.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #ownyourshit #embracingME #motivation #mybeloved #zaidismail #authenticity #lifecoaching #narcissisticpartner #narcissism #narcissisticabuse -
Fearfully hopeful
Patience is only patience when it is the foundation of hope. Not when it is the pacifier of fear.
Hope is the currency of growth, whereas fear is what breeds decay.
To patiently await the decay of what we hold dear is not patience, it is surrender.
To hope, despite the apparent futility that stares us down, is the ultimate rebellion against fear.
To patiently persevere is therefore to continue fighting for that which brings us love and happiness, especially when the circumstances of our lives will warrant a surrender.
It is this beautiful patience that holds the promise of a heart filled with love, or a life fraught with pain.
When we lose sight of the outcome that we hope to achieve, we surrender to fear and settle for the familiarity of the pain that we once yearned to escape.
Surrender must never be an option.
Fa sabrun jameel…
Photo credit: Adobe stock
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #ownyourshit #embracingME #mybeloved #motivation #zaidismail #authenticity #leadershipcoach #lifecoaching #counselling -
Trading off the best of me
If kindness and compassion are a reflection of who we are, there can be no prerequisite for anyone to have to deserve it, or to earn it from us.
How we express it towards them may take different forms, including tough love.
But it is our intention behind that tough love, and how we follow through with it, that determines if it was indeed inspired by kindness and compassion, or by anger or frustration.
The moment we expect someone to earn our kindness, respect, or any other virtue that we claim to possess, we lose that virtue and replace it with arrogance.
Arrogance is a result of a low self esteem.
There is no reason to demand recognition of our contribution if we truly appreciate the value of what we contribute.
Therefore, we diminish ourselves by trading with others that which we should be valuing within ourselves.
Express the beauty of you despite the bitterness of those around you.
It may be the very catalyst needed to break the cycle of your life that you so despise.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #ownyourshit #embracingME #motivation #optimism #zaidismail #lifecoaching #narcissisticpartner #narcissism #narcissisticabuse -
Understanding misunderstanding
When we find that, despite our sincerest efforts, we continue to be misunderstood, consider that perhaps we need to focus on understanding instead.
Understanding becomes difficult when we’re gripped with the desperation of needing others to understand how important something is to us.
That desperation is often driven by fear, or self pity, rather than conviction. And it’s fed by a belief that they simply don’t realise how important it is.
If we’re not careful, this is how we become the architects of our own misery, or the result of our own self-fulfilling prophecy.
The greater our emotional investment, the more likely we are to contaminate that space with fear or self pity.
Creating space for understanding is the most important thing you can do to avoid a potential lifetime of regret.
#hope #expectation #sincerity #relationshipgoals #companionship #soulfood #soulmates #selfawareness #mybeloved #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #narcissisticpartner #ownyourshit #ownyourlife #theegosystem #zaidismail -
Ephemeral existence…
Life, more than anything else, is about perspective.
In moments of struggle, we’re inclined to look back on the many times that we were weighed down in life.
Sometimes we reminisce about the good times, but from a place of hopelessness believing that we may never experience it again.
At such times, it feels like life is long and dreary.
But when we connect with joys from the past, and hope to recreate even greater joys in future, the fleeting nature of life is impressed upon us.
Our need to focus on the bad experiences is an attempt at protecting our fragile hearts from having to face such heartache or disappointment again.
Focus on the joys, and suddenly we connect with our ability to smile in the face of trials, and to reconnect with joy even after the gravest disappointment.
Breathe, beloved…our default state is joy, if only we’ll embrace it more than we hold onto the fear. A joyful life is always still possible as long as there is breath left in our lungs.
#hope
#expectation
#ownyourlife
#relationshipgoals
#joy
#mentalhealth
#mentalhealthrecovery
#mentalhealthawareness
#mybeloved
#narcissisticabuse
#narcissisticparents
#narcissisticpartner
