Tag: ownyourlife

  • To be heard

    To be heard

    When moderation is surrendered in protest against control or oppression, vulgarity seems like the only reasonable way to be heard.

    Rather than focus on the need to be heard, we should consider why our voice may have been lost to the noise around us.

    Adding to that noise further erodes rational thought and expression, creating a polarised environment rather than an inclusive and nurturing one.

    The more we give in to the need to be heard, the more we lose our voice, and our sense of self.

    That’s when vulgarity becomes acceptable to us.

    Because in the absence of moderation, vulgarity becomes the only effective expression.

    Unless, of course, we’re mindful enough to realise that making a point through vulgarity destroys more than it achieves.

    And what it achieves is rarely the good that we hoped to create.

    Reclaim your voice.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock










  • Getting it wrong

    Getting it wrong

    An excerpt from my first book, The Egosystem, contemplating the impact of things not working out often leads to our greatest moments of inspiration.

    That’s part of the beauty of defeat. It creates a deepening appreciation for the dreams that we court.

    But we all have a tolerance level beyond which even the probability of hope feels like a threat to our sanity.

    When you reach that point, it’s important to understand that a new path doesn’t have to mean a new way to chase old dreams.

    Sometimes, it may mean abandoning dreams and pursuing new ones.

    Even if it’s just a dream of a solitary peace, after having spent yourself in trying to achieve a beautiful one with someone else.

    There are no rules to what you must hold onto, or what you must let go of. Similarly, there are no rules that dictate that you must let go of something before you pursue something new.

    Whatever balance you find in maintaining your sanity while believing in your reality, as long as no one else is affected, do it for you. Even if the rest of the world thinks you’re crazy.

    And don’t forget to breathe…

  • Never stop chasing

    Never stop chasing

    The thing about chasing dreams, is that it’s our dreams.

    As obvious as that seems, we rarely recognise that no one else will ever have a view of our dreams the way that we have it even if we describe it to them in detail.

    They will visualise it within the context of their lives and limitations.

    By chasing our dreams with conviction, we must connect with the value that will be created when we achieve those dreams.

    It’s that value that will give us the tenacity and resilience to push beyond the doubts and cynicism of those we encounter on our journey.

    To believe in that value, you must believe in yourself.

    Believing in yourself means to develop an informed opinion of who you are, despite what the world may think of you. Because, again, the opinions that others have of you is based on the context and limitations that they see in their lives, not in yours.

    Stop waiting for permission to chase your dreams. Like Barry Hilton said, “It’s your dream to lose.”




  • Who are you?

    Who are you?

    No matter what you do in life, you are always either a benefit or a burden to those around you.

    Your presence or contribution either uplifts them, or weighs them down.

    If you’re not aware of the impact that you have on others, you’ll unwittingly undermine the very goals that you hope to achieve in life.

    Self awareness is not just about being aware of the self, or accepting who we are. More importantly, it is about understanding why we have become who we are.

    Without that understanding, we can make the most sincere intentions and the bravest efforts in our desire to improve our life and the lives of those important to us, but if we’re unaware of the underlying influences that shape who we are, life often becomes a constant struggle rather than a journey of growth and fulfilment.

    Break the cycle of struggles and build the legacy that you want to leave for those around you. Reach out on WhatsApp at +27836599183 or via my website at zaidismail.com for affordable coaching rates and a customised approach that will change your life.

  • The gratitude paradox

    The gratitude paradox

    Gratitude is a result of appreciating the absence of something.

    That absence doesn’t have to be experienced, it can also be observed.

    All that is needed is an event or incident that inspires the realisation of what life would be like without the value that we obtain from something. Occasionally it’s from someone.

    It is our aversion to the absence of that value in our life that instils a sense of gratitude for its presence.

    Gratitude is one of those things that apart from it being impossible to insert into another’s heart, it also cannot be given if you don’t have it for yourself.

    When one who takes themselves for granted, or undermines their self worth expresses gratitude, it is more an intellectual acknowledgment of the contribution of another, rather than true gratitude.

    This is easily revealed when such benefit is removed. The one with true gratitude will mourn its loss or even try to reclaim it, while the one who lacked that gratitude for themselves will find it easier to accept that it is what it is.

    Giving up on good is more readily practiced by those who don’t believe themselves to be deserving of such good.

    Thus, the absence of gratitude is not to be cursed. Instead, the pain of the soul that lacks it should be considered so that we may offer healing rather than rejection.

  • Understanding vs Judgement

    Understanding vs Judgement

    There are two types of people in this world.

    Those who appreciate our efforts for trying to achieve good things.

    And those who ignore our efforts and judge us for failing.

    The ones who appreciate the effort recognise their own path towards growth, and empathise with the struggle and aspirations of others. This inspires them to uplift and guide gently, although firmly at times.

    The ones who judge others for failing are bitter about not having had such support when they failed on their path of growth, and therefore feel a need to highlight the shortcomings of others so that they may draw attention to their own successes, or their struggles.

    This prompts them to be harsh and uncompromising in their feedback and expectations from others.

    Being aware of which one of these you are can shift the dynamic of your life from one of toxic competition, to one of peaceful perseverance.

    The choice you make will have a profound impact on the quality of your life, and your relationships with those around you.

    Photo credit: Adobe Stock

  • Who defines you?

    Who defines you?

    It’s easy to lose ourselves to the outcomes of our lives.

    It’s easy to convince ourselves that our achievements, rather than our efforts, are a true reflection of the value we hold within.

    It’s a dance with fate that often destroys hope and replaces it with complacency.

    In a world saturated with the ungrateful and the insincere, measuring your worth by the behaviour of others is an exercise in self harm..and simply adds you to the ranks of the ungrateful.

    If resisting your true nature is the root of unhappiness, then knowing your true nature must be the key to joy.

    Therefore, measuring your true worth by the demons of others will lead you away from joy and towards pain, as you convince yourself that how they treated you is all you’re worthy of.

    You were not created to pacify the weak.



  • Hopeless dreams

    Hopeless dreams

    A dream without hope taunts us more than it comforts us.

    It teases us with its distraction while we indulge in it, but reminds us that we believe we’re unworthy of it when we cast our gaze once more towards reality.

    When we believe in our dream, we’ll find the signs and the opportunities to map our path towards achieving that dream.

    But when we believe that our dream is unreachable or unrealistic, we’ll focus on everything that points towards a struggle, an obstacle, or an assumed impossibility in our desire to achieve it.

    That’s how we harm ourselves. We convince ourselves that the good that we yearn for is out of reach. Or worse, we convince ourselves that we are undeserving of it.

    If only we paused for long enough…took a deep breath…and realised that there are experiences we had in life that we never thought possible, but they came to pass anyway. Despite us not believing that they would.

    Those are the experiences that inspired us to dream. And those dreams that they inspired are our truths that we know is possible if only…

    Breathe beloved, and change that ‘if only’ into ‘when’, so that the dream that fills your heart in the quiet moments may find space in your life in your daylight hours.

    Just breathe…