Tag: optimism

  • Why judge yourself?

    Why judge yourself?

    “By those who consider the whole of me, I may be judged fairly. But by those who remain invested in only a single moment of time from a distant memory, they will only be able to judge an abstract moment of what I’ve lived.” (Excerpt from my essay A Long Drive With Me)

    On the face of it, this is an obvious and common truth that we all experience at some point.

    It’s easy to recognise when someone is judging us based on a single moment, or a single mistake from a long time ago.

    Their reason for holding on to such experiences is most often more about them wanting to protect themselves from going through it again, than it is about assuming that we’re incapable of being better.

    But, there’s a more sinister side to this.

    How many of us judge ourselves harshly because of that one mistake that we made a long time ago?

    Do you still see yourself through your teenage eyes?

    Or maybe you see yourself through the eyes of the one who first betrayed your love?

    Perhaps you even still see yourself through the eyes of the family or the community that rejected you?

    Whichever is true, when you hold on to being defined by a moment from your past, not only do you convince yourself that you are incapable of being better than that, but you also actively prevent yourself from growing from the experience.

    There is no shortage of people who would see fit to judge us, and the ultimate judgement of our lives will come in due course.

    Why put your life on hold over thinking either one, instead of living your best life?

  • What are you waiting for?

    What are you waiting for?

    When we find ourselves waiting for just the right moment, or that right feeling, or the perfect setting, or the ideal opportunity to present itself before we do something, we’re afraid of failure.

    If we know, with understanding and rational thought, why we are not ready for something, that’s different.

    When we have no real reason to put something off but we hesitate and make excuses, that’s when we’re not yet convinced about the value in what we want to do, or our ability to be successful at it.

    Looking for reason without deliberate effort or purpose is how we pacify ourselves in our efforts to avoid failure.

    When we focus on the value that we wish to create, and we accept that we are always learning something new even in spaces where we are very confident about our abilities, we will find the conviction to take action rather than to avoid failure.

    The only reason failure weighs down on us so much is because we are defined by how others may judge us.

    If you find yourself in such a head space, you need to reflect on why the opinions of others are more important than your opinion of yourself.

    Improve your opinion of yourself, and it will be easier to take advice, learn from your mistakes, and grow from failure.

    Own your life, or else someone else will.

  • Rise

    Rise

    People that respect your victim-hood do so because it makes them feel better about themselves.

    It doesn’t mean that they are malicious or have bad intentions. But they most likely don’t even realise it themselves.

    In fact, you may be supporting others in ways that comfort you more than it helps them.

    When we find familiarity in our struggles that others share, we risk polarising towards those who make us feel better about where we are, rather than seeking out those who may be able to guide us towards uplifting ourselves out of that space.

    That’s one of the difficulties of being in a victim head space without realising it. We become really good at making others feel OK about their weakness while believing that we’re supporting them to overcome it.

    Before you take offence to what I’m saying, you need to realise that you’re only a victim when you allow the oppression of others to define your self worth, and to dictate your effort towards establishing a life worth living.

    The moment you own your life and rise above the impact of that oppression, you’re no longer a victim, you’re a fighter!

    Not a survivor! A fighter!

    You lose the sweetness of life when you focus on coping as best as you can.

    That’s why you must always strive to rise above, to overcome, to prevail, and never to surrender or cope with what life throws at you.

    You only get one shot at life.

    Make it count.

  • How to abandon your dreams

    How to abandon your dreams

    Failure only threatens is if we feel defined by the outcome of our efforts in trying to achieve our goals.

    Sometimes those goals are small things that influence the daily quality of our lives, and sometimes it’s big things that shape our future.

    The source of fearing failure is in our need to be respected by those around us.

    The only time we will be disrespected or diminished when we fail at something is when we surround ourselves with those who themselves are defined by how others see them.

    In such environments, mediocrity and tradition will be sacred. Playing it safe will be considered responsible. And being risk averse will be considered maturity.

    If the life that you seek is one without failure, without change, and without discovering who you truly are, then such environments are perfect for you.

    But, as humans, we are restless in spirit, and adventurous in nature. We are driven by knowing that we left our mark and we improved the state of the world in the short time that we were here.

    Mediocrity, conformance, and restraint therefore goes against our nature.

    When we fight our nature from fear of exclusion or rejection, it’s only a matter of time before our health suffers, and our spirits will be dulled.

    That’s how dreams are lost and hope is abandoned.

    You owe it to yourself, and the next generation, to be true to the value that you are capable of creating in this world beyond just maintaining the status quo.

    Live inspired.

  • What’s your legacy?

    What’s your legacy?

    Live to love, to laugh, and to leave a legacy.

    It is only through truly appreciating who we are, that we will be able to leave an imprint of love in the hearts of those we cherish.

    Until we connect with that gratitude of self, our efforts will put smiles in the hearts of others, while our own faces carry smiles that barely reach our eyes.

    Without such gratitude, our laughter will be nothing more than an attempt to release, in that moment, the heaviness that we harbour within.

    And our legacy will be one of sacrifice and martyrdom, teaching our loved ones to sacrifice themselves in the service of others, while not teaching them how to connect with the sweetness of such service.

    Material success is only a blessing if it uplifts, rather than enslaves.

    Wealth that enslaves is the wealth that strokes our ego but deprives us of the joy of human connection, or denies us the bonds of beauty that feed our souls.

    Laughter should not be sourced from a business deal that outwitted our opponents.

    Such laughter will mock us in our later years when we realise that our fascination with wealth was merely a drop in the ocean of joy compared to the joy that we could have achieved in investing our incredible talents to brighten up the faces of loved ones, or even strangers.

    Wealth is a means to an end. Don’t get so caught up in the means that you completely lose sight of your end.

  • Don’t wish away life

    Don’t wish away life

    Perspective is what makes the difference between feeling trialed, versus experiencing growth.

    The narrative that keeps reminding us that it’s a cruel world and that we must struggle to survive, distracts us from our contribution towards that cruel world.

    When things don’t go our way, we must remember the times when we were faced with unexpected difficulties and how we overcame them.

    But don’t focus on the amount of times you were faced with difficulties and wish that it would stop.

    Focus on the fact that despite your unpreparedness, you were able to overcome the difficulties.

    We cannot control what life throws at us. We can only do our best to either overcome it and move on, or find opportunity in it to create something beautiful or valuable.

    Recognising your abilities and appreciating the resources that you have access to will help you to remain focused on being purposeful rather than feeling burdened.

    Life is a passion that must be lived. And passion is never appreciated if it isn’t accompanied by some pain. Otherwise we take it for granted, and it ceases to be a passion of ours.

    That’s what wishing away trials and realities do for us. It robs us of our passion, and turns us into meek victims waiting for life to treat us kinder.

    Rise above it. Live passionately. Love deeply. And don’t waste life away worrying about could’ve and should’ve.

    Make every moment count.

  • Be true about seeking truth

    Be true about seeking truth

    If you’re sincere about seeking the truth, you won’t be distracted by the source or tone through which it arrives.

    The truth is only harsh if you’re not willing to accept it.

    The harshness enters when we need to hear something more palatable or pleasant about ourselves because we need the validation that says that we’re not so bad.

    But that’s the problem right there.

    We use the truth to judge ourselves instead of grow, that’s why it feels harsh.

    If we embrace it, we embrace growth, and growth is never bad, except for the people that you sometimes leave behind because they don’t want to grow with you.

    Don’t let that stop you, because when they do decide to grow on their own, they’ll leave you behind.

    That’s why you need to own your life, and create opportunities for others to own theirs.

  • Never abandon hope

    Never abandon hope

    Hope is born in moments when you have no reason to believe in the moment that is to follow, but something good unexpectedly lands in your lap.

    It’s born when that unexpected call changes your life for the better.

    It’s born when that stranger smiled an understanding smile in that moment that you thought the world was oblivious to your presence.

    It’s born when you wake in the morning and discover that despite your worst premonitions, you have a good day.

    Hope can be torturous when the events of your life have given you little reason to believe that the good that you experience will last for more than a fleeting moment.

    But, knowing that it’s possible for it to last beyond that brief period of joy is what makes it impossible to ignore the hope that bubbles beneath the surface.

    Hope is faith. And faith is hope.

    Both are intricately woven into the fabric of our struggles.

    When we focus on our struggles only, we lose sight of all those moments that planted the seeds of hope in our hearts so many lifetimes before the present moment.

    In forgetting, we burden ourselves with more than the burdens of life. We burden ourselves with the burden of ingratitude as well.

    Focus on hope, and faith will have your back.