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Raging for love
Nothing destroys more than ingratitude, and ingratitude for the self is expressed through self-loathing. But self-loathing is disguised in many ways, the most common of which is anger. Anger is a defence mechanism that distracts attention away from what we feel inadequate about. It demands that we be taken seriously when we have no reason…
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I see me in you
We judge others the way we judge ourselves. The less aware we are of our self-judgement, the more rigid we will be in insisting on the accuracy of our assumptions about others. The more compassionate and understanding we are in our efforts to improve ourselves, the more space we’ll allow for others to recover from…
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Dishonesty, the destroyer
The profundity of the verse from the Qur’an that says that if you are grateful, Allah will increase you, resonates strongly through every theme of life. It is through gratitude that good is created, harm is kept at bay, and we are connected to what feeds our soul. Therefore, what destroys good must be the…
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Settling for a hint of life
How we see ourselves is reflected in the choices that we make in life. Not what is obvious about those choices, but what we’re trying to achieve through those choices. Unfortunately, most are unaware of the second part. That underlying need that drives the choices that we make. When we lose sight of that need,…
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Empty apologies
“Hey, I apologised. If you don’t accept my apology, that’s your problem, not mine.” Did someone say this to you after offending you or treating you badly? Maybe you felt you had reason to say it to someone else that rejected your apology? The moment we demand that our apology must be enough, we’re not…
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The destruction of self-deprecation
In our efforts to subdue our ego, many resort to self-deprecation. Sometimes we put ourselves down to test if anyone will be willing to disagree with us, thereby hoping to receive acknowledgement or appreciation that would otherwise not be forthcoming. At other times, we put ourselves down because we try to convince ourselves that we…
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Don’t trade your best for their worst
There is rarely a day that passes without me reading or hearing about someone who invested years, if not decades of their life, to people who were not invested in the relationship. When the reality of that betrayal finally hits home, it destroys our spirit and convinces us that we’ve sacrificed the best years of…
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Betrayed expectations
Without realising it, expectations create an underlying sense of entitlement regarding the outcomes that we want. That entitlement is what influences our attitude and demeanour in how we approach things or relationships. When we feel justified to have such expectations, we lose sight of the entitlement, which leads to the intensity of emotion that we…
