Tag: selfawareness

  • Why wait?

    Why wait?

    The most common distraction that prevents us from reaching our goals is waiting for others to take responsibility for our wounds.

    I’m not saying that they may not be responsible for the betrayal or the hurtful way in which they treated us. No.

    What I’m saying is that waiting for them to own their contribution towards our state is a waste of life.

    Whose life? Yours! Your life is wasted away with every moment that you put your life on hold because you need someone else to step up and be better towards you, or to appreciate or respect you.

    It’s OK to leave a space open for them to occupy in your life. But it’s not OK to demand that they fill that space.

    The moment you demand such investment from them, you taint the sincerity with which they show up in your life, and you create a burden where once there was an opportunity for peace.

    And the reason we do this is simple. We do it because we hope that when they realise how significant they are to us, we may grow to be more significant to them.

    That’s how we lose ourselves while waiting for others to make us feel better about what they did to us, or what we need from them.

    Life is too short to spend it waiting for better days. Own your life, and allow others to own theirs. And if that results in a beautiful space being created between you two, then cherish it.

    And if not, then cherish the opportunity to create space for the right person to fill that space in your life instead.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Regret doesn’t change the past

    Regret doesn’t change the past

    It’s easy to lose ourselves in our efforts to overcome upheaval.

    It’s also easy to look back and think that it was the trial that developed the strength or ability to overcome it.

    But, what if we had that within us all along, and the trial only revealed it?

    We must recognise the difference between our innate abilities, versus the skills we develop by applying those abilities.

    Too often, we look at our skills and assume that to be our abilities. But why is this difference important?

    It is our ability to acquire skills to overcome trials that are more important than the skills we acquire in that moment.

    If we appreciate our ability to learn and to adapt, we’ll find less reason to stress, no need to just cope, and instead, we’ll face trials and challenges with greater confidence and less anxiety.

    Strength therefore is found in our appreciation for our ability to acquire new skills, rather than giving in to the fear that the skills we have may be insufficient to overcome what we’re faced with.

    Trials are therefore opportunities for growth, but we lose sight of the growth when we succumb to the fear of what we think awaits us on the other side of that trial.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Protect your dream

    Protect your dream

    How often do you hold yourself back while waiting for someone else to believe in you first?

    When venturing into a new domain, or taking that bravely bold step to reinvent yourself, don’t be disheartened when you find that those you thought closest to you do not support you.

    Those closest to us are invested in the version of who they know us to be, and therefore find it difficult to appreciate the vision that we may have for ourselves if that vision is a revolution of who we are, rather than a gentle evolution of who they want us to be.

    Sadly, this is often true for many in our circle of significant others. Be they family or lifelong friends, sometimes our goals are a threat to their low self-esteem.

    If you don’t connect with authenticity and sincerity to the value of what you want to create in your life, you will be easily deterred by the doubts or objections of others.

    You are the only person that will ever create your legacy. Let that legacy be one of courage and conviction in leaving this world in a better state than it was before you arrived.

    Maintaining the status quo may keep the peace with family and friends, but it will leave you with storms of incompleteness in your soul that no one will ever be able to pacify.

    Beloved. Be bold. Be brave. Be purposeful. And never sell yourself short to appease the meek.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • The present moment

    The present moment

    There is one thing more desolate than hopelessness. It’s the absence of expectations.

    Hope only hurts when we still expect things to turn out differently, or still want it to be more.

    When we give up hope, and we surrender our expectations, we’re left with nothing but the present moment.

    The past fades as a hallucination often does.

    The future ceases to exist.

    And all we have is a choice to do something with the moment we’re in.

    But what is there to do with it if hope and expectations have both left?

    With no bitterness to create anger, and no love to create hope, what value does the present moment hold?

    I believe that it is in such moments that we face the brutality or the beauty of our true nature.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • It starts and ends with gratitude

    It starts and ends with gratitude

    Many struggle with achieving a sense of fulfilment in their lives because they have yet to appreciate, with sincerity, the value that they hold within themselves.

    We only make ourselves truly available in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, if we believe that who we are will be valued by others.

    The irony is that gratitude for who we are is needed before we see fit to share anything of ourselves with others, while sharing the same is the first step towards experiencing the gratitude of fulfilment.

    Such conundrums are common in our efforts to live a life of purpose.

    Purpose is not found in the acquisition of valuables for ourselves, but rather in the creation of value for others.

    I think in there lies the secret to experiencing any sense of peace in this lifetime.

    When we protect ourselves from the possibility of rejection, we deny ourselves the very fulfilment we need to feel complete, and therefore create opportunities for bitterness or regret to take hold in our lives.

    It all starts with gratitude, and fulfilment is sealed with gratitude.

    Be grateful for how your journey shaped you into who you are, so that you stop holding others accountable for your happiness.

    [This was a difficult thought process to articulate. Hope it makes sense.]

  • This is going to hurt

    This is going to hurt

    Another excerpt from a manuscript slowly taking shape in my head. From the sequel to my novel, this is Taqdeer: A dance with destiny.

    In this scene, the main character, Zayd, once more finds himself faced with the betrayal of one close to him, but it’s not enough to deter him from remaining defiant against the odds.

    “Eventually, I get tired of dodging the bullet and instead I stand, square-shouldered, facing the onslaught with eyes wide open, my heart gently ticking away in my chest, waiting for what I always knew was inevitable. Knowing that it will hit me hard, but defiantly standing there waiting to see exactly how hard it’s going to hit.”

    Will his love story ever be completed? Or is life only ever meant to be an exercise in fulfilling duty towards those who have rights over him?

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Know your place

    Know your place

    What if it wasn’t about the struggles, but about what we lost sight of that created those struggles?

    What if 2020 was needed to tamper our arrogance, or to test our gratitude?

    To remind us of the mortality of our dreams, and the reality of our shortcomings?

    To give us reason to pause and observe, rather than race on with assumptions?

    To remind us of our place in this world, as we persisted in acquiring that which we did not earn?

    2020 was a year of brutal truths and harsh realities.

    Of love and loss, and joy and grief. Like every other year of our lives.

    Only, in 2020, we were significantly constrained in our ability to distract ourselves from these grounding realities.

    2021 will be no different because the change in year doesn’t change our reality.

    Our reality only changes when we change our perspectives.

    If nothing else, let the gift of 2020 be a healthier perspective about life, and about your self.

    Oh, and remember to breathe…

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Farewell, it wasn’t fun

    Farewell, it wasn’t fun

    Goodbye to a year that has defined new depths of beauty and pain, and left its mark somewhere adrift between the two, leaving an ambivalence of hope and hopelessness, where once there was certainty.

    Nothing changes after midnight tonight. But the token of 2021 may give some hope, while the rest brace themselves for a continuation of the struggles of a year that most would want to forget, but everyone will always remember.

    Including the heartless who believe that being right about the pandemic is more important than being compassionate about the suffering that it continues to cause.

    We have a long way to climb to get ourselves out of this cess pool of humanity that we find ourselves in.