Tag: ownyourshit

  • Enabling our oppressors

    Enabling our oppressors

    We only give others permission to disrespect us when we disrespect ourselves first.

    Disrespect of the self takes many shapes and forms including compromising our values for personal gain, accepting abuse from fear of abandonment, restraining our contribution from fear of rejection, and more.

    When treating ourselves with disrespect becomes the norm, accepting disrespect becomes the theme of our lives.

    Reclaiming our space in relationships with significant others then becomes a struggle, because without realising it, we gave them permission to treat us badly.

    Of course, the fact that they may have taken up the opportunity to treat us badly confirms their disrespect for themselves as well.

    And that’s how we end up in relationships where respect is optional, and being together becomes a matter of convenience that we justify in many ways, including doing it for the children, not wanting to be seen as a failure, nor wanting to return to our parent’s home and bringing shame to them, not wanting to be alone, and more.

    That’s when life becomes empty, and joy is replaced with bitterness. Break that cycle before it breaks you, because when you’re broken, you become a liability to this world, rather than a blessing.

    And this world has enough social liabilities already. Please be better than that. You deserve it, and so does everyone around you.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Know your place

    Know your place

    The value of knowing your place is underrated.

    So many impose themselves in the hope of acceptance, only to question the sincerity of the company they keep when they eventually earn that acceptance.

    Sometimes, we only discover our place after having invested in relationships that were never intent on embracing us the way we embraced them.

    Sometimes, those relationships are with those for whom we sacrificed much to see them grow.

    And sometimes, it’s in uplifting total strangers who became friends and then abandoned us when we posed a threat to their popularity.

    Whatever it is that came before that moment, accept with grace and dignity your place when they reveal their true selves.

    Worse than losing time in spaces where you’re not appreciated is losing your dignity and self respect.

    And both, dignity and self respect are yours to claim. It’s not something that must be endowed upon you by anyone else

    Claim yours before you lose it completely.

  • Why wait?

    Why wait?

    The most common distraction that prevents us from reaching our goals is waiting for others to take responsibility for our wounds.

    I’m not saying that they may not be responsible for the betrayal or the hurtful way in which they treated us. No.

    What I’m saying is that waiting for them to own their contribution towards our state is a waste of life.

    Whose life? Yours! Your life is wasted away with every moment that you put your life on hold because you need someone else to step up and be better towards you, or to appreciate or respect you.

    It’s OK to leave a space open for them to occupy in your life. But it’s not OK to demand that they fill that space.

    The moment you demand such investment from them, you taint the sincerity with which they show up in your life, and you create a burden where once there was an opportunity for peace.

    And the reason we do this is simple. We do it because we hope that when they realise how significant they are to us, we may grow to be more significant to them.

    That’s how we lose ourselves while waiting for others to make us feel better about what they did to us, or what we need from them.

    Life is too short to spend it waiting for better days. Own your life, and allow others to own theirs. And if that results in a beautiful space being created between you two, then cherish it.

    And if not, then cherish the opportunity to create space for the right person to fill that space in your life instead.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Gluttonous distractions

    Gluttonous distractions

    The utopian ideal for many is to find a line of work that feeds our passion for life, while also earning us a comfortable lifestyle.

    Inevitably, the comfort of the material rewards for such a pursuit, for those of us fortunate enough to discover our passion, slowly distracts us from that unadulterated passion that once drove us, only to be replaced by the fear of losing the means that sustains our quality of life.

    Similarly, we lose focus on what quality of life really means, and become distracted by convenience of life while assuming that to be the accomplishment worth protecting.

    The soul is soon neglected and the belly becomes the master that drives the decisions that shape our efforts.

    It sometimes takes years, if ever, for us to realise that we lost our way.

    For those that are again fortunate enough to realise this unfortunate shift, gathering the resolve and the courage to redirect our focus to our passion at the risk of downgrading our lifestyle becomes a trial that brutally separates the adults from the meek.

    Too many willingly surrender to the system while claiming impotence in their efforts to avoid acknowledging their weakness for the indulgence of their belly.

    They’re the ones who grow diseased and bitter, each day needing more distractions than before to keep them steady on the path of servitude that they chose.

    Servitude without fulfilment. Thus has this world become tainted with the bitter cowards who would much rather blame the world for their lack of resolve, than accept responsibility for their gluttonous appetite for the trinkets of delusions that parade as success.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Regret doesn’t change the past

    Regret doesn’t change the past

    It’s easy to lose ourselves in our efforts to overcome upheaval.

    It’s also easy to look back and think that it was the trial that developed the strength or ability to overcome it.

    But, what if we had that within us all along, and the trial only revealed it?

    We must recognise the difference between our innate abilities, versus the skills we develop by applying those abilities.

    Too often, we look at our skills and assume that to be our abilities. But why is this difference important?

    It is our ability to acquire skills to overcome trials that are more important than the skills we acquire in that moment.

    If we appreciate our ability to learn and to adapt, we’ll find less reason to stress, no need to just cope, and instead, we’ll face trials and challenges with greater confidence and less anxiety.

    Strength therefore is found in our appreciation for our ability to acquire new skills, rather than giving in to the fear that the skills we have may be insufficient to overcome what we’re faced with.

    Trials are therefore opportunities for growth, but we lose sight of the growth when we succumb to the fear of what we think awaits us on the other side of that trial.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Protect your dream

    Protect your dream

    How often do you hold yourself back while waiting for someone else to believe in you first?

    When venturing into a new domain, or taking that bravely bold step to reinvent yourself, don’t be disheartened when you find that those you thought closest to you do not support you.

    Those closest to us are invested in the version of who they know us to be, and therefore find it difficult to appreciate the vision that we may have for ourselves if that vision is a revolution of who we are, rather than a gentle evolution of who they want us to be.

    Sadly, this is often true for many in our circle of significant others. Be they family or lifelong friends, sometimes our goals are a threat to their low self-esteem.

    If you don’t connect with authenticity and sincerity to the value of what you want to create in your life, you will be easily deterred by the doubts or objections of others.

    You are the only person that will ever create your legacy. Let that legacy be one of courage and conviction in leaving this world in a better state than it was before you arrived.

    Maintaining the status quo may keep the peace with family and friends, but it will leave you with storms of incompleteness in your soul that no one will ever be able to pacify.

    Beloved. Be bold. Be brave. Be purposeful. And never sell yourself short to appease the meek.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • It starts and ends with gratitude

    It starts and ends with gratitude

    Many struggle with achieving a sense of fulfilment in their lives because they have yet to appreciate, with sincerity, the value that they hold within themselves.

    We only make ourselves truly available in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, if we believe that who we are will be valued by others.

    The irony is that gratitude for who we are is needed before we see fit to share anything of ourselves with others, while sharing the same is the first step towards experiencing the gratitude of fulfilment.

    Such conundrums are common in our efforts to live a life of purpose.

    Purpose is not found in the acquisition of valuables for ourselves, but rather in the creation of value for others.

    I think in there lies the secret to experiencing any sense of peace in this lifetime.

    When we protect ourselves from the possibility of rejection, we deny ourselves the very fulfilment we need to feel complete, and therefore create opportunities for bitterness or regret to take hold in our lives.

    It all starts with gratitude, and fulfilment is sealed with gratitude.

    Be grateful for how your journey shaped you into who you are, so that you stop holding others accountable for your happiness.

    [This was a difficult thought process to articulate. Hope it makes sense.]

  • Support Indie Authors

    Support Indie Authors

    Thank you Gallo Images for creating opportunities for indie authors and content creators like myself to get exposure.

    As any indie author will tell you, writing the book is the easy part.

    Publishing it is the next part, which is a bit easier than writing it. That’s if you do everything yourself like I do.

    But the most difficult part is getting people to know that your book exists, and to convince them to want to buy it.

    No matter how amazing your writing skills may be, or how enthraling your story, if people don’t know it exists, it will be a brilliant piece of work that is forever undiscovered.

    So efforts like these go a long way towards giving indie authors a fighting chance in the industry against the traditional publishing houses. Or perhaps even to get the attention of those publishers.

    Support an indie author by sharing their content with credits, and by leaving reviews of their work.

    Your small gesture can make a world of difference.

    Thank you.

    Photo credit : Gallo Images