Tag: mentalhealth

  • Protect your dream

    Protect your dream

    How often do you hold yourself back while waiting for someone else to believe in you first?

    When venturing into a new domain, or taking that bravely bold step to reinvent yourself, don’t be disheartened when you find that those you thought closest to you do not support you.

    Those closest to us are invested in the version of who they know us to be, and therefore find it difficult to appreciate the vision that we may have for ourselves if that vision is a revolution of who we are, rather than a gentle evolution of who they want us to be.

    Sadly, this is often true for many in our circle of significant others. Be they family or lifelong friends, sometimes our goals are a threat to their low self-esteem.

    If you don’t connect with authenticity and sincerity to the value of what you want to create in your life, you will be easily deterred by the doubts or objections of others.

    You are the only person that will ever create your legacy. Let that legacy be one of courage and conviction in leaving this world in a better state than it was before you arrived.

    Maintaining the status quo may keep the peace with family and friends, but it will leave you with storms of incompleteness in your soul that no one will ever be able to pacify.

    Beloved. Be bold. Be brave. Be purposeful. And never sell yourself short to appease the meek.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • The present moment

    The present moment

    There is one thing more desolate than hopelessness. It’s the absence of expectations.

    Hope only hurts when we still expect things to turn out differently, or still want it to be more.

    When we give up hope, and we surrender our expectations, we’re left with nothing but the present moment.

    The past fades as a hallucination often does.

    The future ceases to exist.

    And all we have is a choice to do something with the moment we’re in.

    But what is there to do with it if hope and expectations have both left?

    With no bitterness to create anger, and no love to create hope, what value does the present moment hold?

    I believe that it is in such moments that we face the brutality or the beauty of our true nature.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • It starts and ends with gratitude

    It starts and ends with gratitude

    Many struggle with achieving a sense of fulfilment in their lives because they have yet to appreciate, with sincerity, the value that they hold within themselves.

    We only make ourselves truly available in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, if we believe that who we are will be valued by others.

    The irony is that gratitude for who we are is needed before we see fit to share anything of ourselves with others, while sharing the same is the first step towards experiencing the gratitude of fulfilment.

    Such conundrums are common in our efforts to live a life of purpose.

    Purpose is not found in the acquisition of valuables for ourselves, but rather in the creation of value for others.

    I think in there lies the secret to experiencing any sense of peace in this lifetime.

    When we protect ourselves from the possibility of rejection, we deny ourselves the very fulfilment we need to feel complete, and therefore create opportunities for bitterness or regret to take hold in our lives.

    It all starts with gratitude, and fulfilment is sealed with gratitude.

    Be grateful for how your journey shaped you into who you are, so that you stop holding others accountable for your happiness.

    [This was a difficult thought process to articulate. Hope it makes sense.]

  • Know your place

    Know your place

    What if it wasn’t about the struggles, but about what we lost sight of that created those struggles?

    What if 2020 was needed to tamper our arrogance, or to test our gratitude?

    To remind us of the mortality of our dreams, and the reality of our shortcomings?

    To give us reason to pause and observe, rather than race on with assumptions?

    To remind us of our place in this world, as we persisted in acquiring that which we did not earn?

    2020 was a year of brutal truths and harsh realities.

    Of love and loss, and joy and grief. Like every other year of our lives.

    Only, in 2020, we were significantly constrained in our ability to distract ourselves from these grounding realities.

    2021 will be no different because the change in year doesn’t change our reality.

    Our reality only changes when we change our perspectives.

    If nothing else, let the gift of 2020 be a healthier perspective about life, and about your self.

    Oh, and remember to breathe…

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Farewell, it wasn’t fun

    Farewell, it wasn’t fun

    Goodbye to a year that has defined new depths of beauty and pain, and left its mark somewhere adrift between the two, leaving an ambivalence of hope and hopelessness, where once there was certainty.

    Nothing changes after midnight tonight. But the token of 2021 may give some hope, while the rest brace themselves for a continuation of the struggles of a year that most would want to forget, but everyone will always remember.

    Including the heartless who believe that being right about the pandemic is more important than being compassionate about the suffering that it continues to cause.

    We have a long way to climb to get ourselves out of this cess pool of humanity that we find ourselves in.

  • Time rewrites every line

    Time rewrites every line

    From my blog post titled Legacy of Beauty, this excerpt resonated strongly this evening.

    “As time morphs the pain into beauty it also morphs the beasts into angels.

    Those that manipulate the vulnerable suddenly appear as the downtrodden when their loss of control is lamented as a betrayal of love or affection.

    I sit with morbid amazement as I watch kids who are barely teens reminiscing about childhood and the wonderment that went with it as if it’s a long lost part of their lives, and I feel sad.

    The sadness deepens when I witness how their recollections embellish events to make it more wholesome or inclusive than it really was.

    The disease of the adults appear to have transcended a generation that used to be symbols of hope.

    Those symbols of hope are quickly becoming reminders of despair instead.”

    Read the full post on my blog at https://zaidismail.com/2016/04/29/a-legacy-of-beauty/

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Choose your company…wisely

    Choose your company…wisely

    Choose your company carefully.

    The peace of mind and sense of belonging for which you yearn could easily turn out to be the reason for your anguish.

    There is rarely a day that passes without me reading or hearing about someone who invested years, if not decades of their life, to people who were not invested in the relationship.

    When the reality of that betrayal finally hits home, it destroys our spirit and convinces us that we’ve sacrificed the best years of our life while having nothing more to look forward to.

    Nothing could be further from the truth.

    The same way we were able to create beauty in such a desolate landscape, we must recognise that the best of us that we gave was simply the truth of who we were. And are.

    The moment we discard that because it was discarded by an ingrate who was looking for servitude of their ego when they could have had love for their essence, we become ingrates just like them.

    Don’t trade who you are for who they were. It’s never a fair trade. You owe yourself more than that.

    And self-pity will only ever prevent you from being true to yourself.

    Breathe, beloved…even when that breath threatens to prolong the agony of your life. Breathe. And embrace the beauty of who you are despite the ugly of who they were.

    That’s how we take back the gift that they discarded so that we may be able find a more fitting recipient.

    As long as you’re breathing, there’s always hope.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Own your demons

    Own your demons

    When faced with the brutal aggression or harshness from another, it’s easy to convince ourselves that they treat us that way because of how they feel about us.

    Unless we’ve done something to specifically provoke them by treating them in a way that undermines their dignity or the trust that they placed in us, their behaviour is not because of who we are to them, but rather because of what we represent from their past.

    The victim rarely expresses their rage at an overwhelming aggressor, so such rage builds up until they find a safe space in which to release it.

    That safe space is someone who they can control or subdue. Someone who reminds them of their inadequacy which sends them into a blind rage to want to protect themselves from ever feeling inadequate again.

    Because that’s what anger is. That’s what rage does. It’s a defence against being vulnerable, or feeling abused, neglected, or taken for granted.

    Recognising these signs in others will save you the anguish of questioning your self worth, and more importantly, it will save others from becoming the outlet of the rage that builds up within you because of the ill treatment that you received at the hands of someone else’s demons.

    Break the cycle, beloved. Breathe. Take stock. And reclaim your voice that was surrendered to the angry battles that were not of your doing.

    If you’re struggling to reconcile your experiences at the hands of a troubled soul, or if you’re trying to understand the source of the rage that threatens to destroy everything good in your life, reach out and let’s work through it together.

    Contact me via WhatsApp on +27836599183 or via my website at zaidismail.com and together we can create the life that you’ve always wanted.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock