Tag: expectation

  • All that matters is right now…

    All that matters is right now…

    Reminiscing about the good old days becomes a toxic trait when it distracts us from what we have now.

    Our distracted state is what causes us to lose sight of what we have, so that at some future point, we may once more reminisce about what was.

    Such an indulgence, when done in excess, convinces us that the best is over, leaving the future barren, with no inclination on our part to find opportunity for new growth, and greater joys.

    Gratitude about the present moment is a result of appreciating what the past has contributed towards what we have, while reflecting on this inspires us about the possibility of what is to come.

    At some point, we need to realise that this moment, right now, is the past that will create our present moment in the future.

    Think about it. We’re so busy thinking of how good things once were, that we don’t realise that all we’re doing is giving ourselves reason to sit at some point in the future contemplating how much of our past was spent reminiscing about the past that came before that.

    Sounds ludicrous? It is, because that’s how ludicrous it is when we abandon the future because we chose to hold on to the bitterness of the past.

    The past, no matter how bad, does not dictate what the future holds. It only ever gives us a point of reference as to how much better things can be, and should be.

    Breathe, beloved…breathe…and release the toxins of the past with every exhalation, so that you create space for the promise of joy that the future holds.

  • Have a little faith

    Have a little faith

    Believing is not the same as faith. At least not in the way that I experience it.

    When I believe in something, it’s because I’ve attached evidence from previous experiences that convince me that what I believe to be true is probably true.

    While there is an element of faith to that, its not really faith. It’s more a belief based on deduction.

    Faith comes in when the evidence may conflict with the belief, but because everything we know to be true about it makes it impossible to believe anything else, it’s then that we develop the faith in believing that somehow, some way, the outcome is still possible.

    This is especially true when everything tells you that it’s impossible.

    Of course faith of a divine nature is different. But the above approach to faith is what determines how much we invest in others, or in what we believe is possible with them.

    Photo trivia : This is a table cloth that was woven by female prisoners in India. An endearing design with dark undertones.

  • Don’t wait for justice

    Don’t wait for justice

    This world was created for respite, not for justice. Stop waiting for it to be OK before you move on with your life. It will never truly be OK.

    And when you eventually do move on, it’s because you stopped waiting for it to be OK, not because it suddenly was OK.

    Life is most often wasted waiting for retribution or reciprocation after we’ve been treated poorly or betrayed.

    When we wait for such justice to come to pass, it means that we’re more invested in our past than we are in our future.

    The irony is that we convince ourselves that we can’t have a future until we get justice for our past.

    The truth is, the future only becomes available to us when we have reconciled our contribution towards the outcomes of our lives.

    We’ll never be able to get into the heads of those who oppressed us or treated us badly.

    Waiting for them to step up and do the right thing is simply perpetuating the very reason why that relationship may have failed in the first place.

    The moment you reclaim your voice in your life, you reclaim your future, and you discard the shackles of the past.

    This doesn’t mean that by reclaiming your voice the issues from the past that continue to plague you will disappear.

    No. What it means is that your response to it will be defined by how much power you want it to have in your future, so that you’ll be able to choose your battles and your conditions for peace more wisely.

    Breathe, beloved…don’t forget to breathe. And between each breath, consider if your last breath was invested in your future, or your past…and choose more wisely the purpose of your next breath.

  • A silent betrayal

    A silent betrayal

    The betrayal of trust is not always due to blatant acts of dishonesty.

    Most often, it’s the silence or the restraint from a loved one when their words or their embrace is most needed.

    It’s the shrug when we reach out to them or offer them support, or the deliberate obliviousness when we express our need for them.

    It’s the trust that bonds hearts that is more fragile than the intellectual trust.

    Reconciling dishonesty is easy because we have tangible evidence to work with.

    Understanding what’s in someone’s heart when they keep it a secret, or when they become subdued after having been expressive, leads to more anguish than any lie of the tongue.

    It is the not knowing that tortures and tests the trust we once placed in someone, especially when all the evidence conflicts with their claims.

    That’s when breathing becomes a labour in search of love, and exhaling feels pointless.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • My silent scream

    My silent scream

    When rage is all you have left in you, know that you’ve surrendered yourself to the betrayal of the world.

    When rage becomes a silent scream or a deliberate protest, despite your best intentions, you are still defined by that betrayal.

    When rage colours your view of the world, you see demons in angels, and persecution in love, because they both, the angels and the love, carry with them the threat of a broken trust.

    Worse still, when rage defines your response to life, you not only reject anything that demands trust, but you strike preemptively at the hint of what you once courted, hurting the ones invested in your peace.

    When we view the world through angry eyes, innocence is tainted, sincerity appears as manipulation, and affection feels like a self-serving act of the one offering it.

    Discarding the good doesn’t only deny you that good, it also creates space for the festering wounds of the past to contaminate even more beauty and innocence that once filled those spaces.

    Breathe, beloved…

    Just breathe…

    Don’t let the betrayers of your past cause you to betray your future.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Thus, is love lost

    Thus, is love lost

    In affection, we focus on our beauty

    In rejection, we focus on our deficiencies

    Perhaps that’s why the world is so harsh

    Too many are waiting for their deficiencies to be accepted before they share their beauty

    Or need their grievances with one to be compensated before they accept the beauty of another.

    Each time we wait for the past to be redressed before

    we invest in the future

    We are discarding the future in favour of the very past we wish we could leave behind

    Thus is the gift of love discarded

    And bitterness courted.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Getting it wrong

    Getting it wrong

    An excerpt from my first book, The Egosystem, contemplating the impact of things not working out often leads to our greatest moments of inspiration.

    That’s part of the beauty of defeat. It creates a deepening appreciation for the dreams that we court.

    But we all have a tolerance level beyond which even the probability of hope feels like a threat to our sanity.

    When you reach that point, it’s important to understand that a new path doesn’t have to mean a new way to chase old dreams.

    Sometimes, it may mean abandoning dreams and pursuing new ones.

    Even if it’s just a dream of a solitary peace, after having spent yourself in trying to achieve a beautiful one with someone else.

    There are no rules to what you must hold onto, or what you must let go of. Similarly, there are no rules that dictate that you must let go of something before you pursue something new.

    Whatever balance you find in maintaining your sanity while believing in your reality, as long as no one else is affected, do it for you. Even if the rest of the world thinks you’re crazy.

    And don’t forget to breathe…

  • Never stop chasing

    Never stop chasing

    The thing about chasing dreams, is that it’s our dreams.

    As obvious as that seems, we rarely recognise that no one else will ever have a view of our dreams the way that we have it even if we describe it to them in detail.

    They will visualise it within the context of their lives and limitations.

    By chasing our dreams with conviction, we must connect with the value that will be created when we achieve those dreams.

    It’s that value that will give us the tenacity and resilience to push beyond the doubts and cynicism of those we encounter on our journey.

    To believe in that value, you must believe in yourself.

    Believing in yourself means to develop an informed opinion of who you are, despite what the world may think of you. Because, again, the opinions that others have of you is based on the context and limitations that they see in their lives, not in yours.

    Stop waiting for permission to chase your dreams. Like Barry Hilton said, “It’s your dream to lose.”