Category: Life Coaching

  • Emotional health before physical wellbeing

    Emotional health before physical wellbeing

    As well-intentioned as this is, it is not true.

    Our body does not have a mind of its own.

    And laziness is not about the amount of rest that we need.

    As is clearly experienced by many, getting enough rest most certainly does not guarantee productivity. Nor does it remedy procrastination.

    So what is laziness about? And does it actually exist?

    Laziness is how we describe the behaviour that we observe or experience when someone lacks the inclination to complete a task or project.

    The question we should therefore be asking is not why are we lazy? Or why our body supposedly needs rest. We should be questioning why we’re not committed to the task at hand.

    When we don’t believe in the value of the outcome relative to the effort that we need to put into something, chances are good that we’ll avoid it until we can’t avoid it any longer.

    Otherwise we’ll do it only if there is a threat of negative consequences for not doing it.

    Don’t detach your emotional space from your physical experience. Your body responds to your emotional disposition, it doesn’t define it.

    When we lose sight of this, we eee illness or dis-ease taking hold in our body, and we feel emotionally burdened because of it, rather than focusing on our emotional duress that we may be experiencing up to that point, and understanding that our body is simply responding to that duress.

    It sounds more complicated than it is. The important take-away from this is that when you experience lethargy or ailments in your body, it’s a sign that you’ve been under emotional duress for an extended period.

    Medication may provide temporary relief. But it won’t address the emotional duress, leaving you susceptible to more ailments taking hold in your body.

    Do you need help to reverse the physical impact of the emotional upheaval that you’ve experienced in life? Reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183 to discover how we can reverse the effects of chronic illnesses without medication, while simultaneously improving the quality of your life and your relationships with significant others.

  • Don’t dance with the devil

    Don’t dance with the devil

    The devil lives in our doubts, and our demons thrive in our fears.

    What we take from life leaves us filled with hope, or ridden with fear.

    But because it’s what we take from it that matters, we can always revisit a memory or an experience and find something more wholesome to take from it.

    While we cannot change the past, we most certainly can change how it shapes us, and our relationships with those around us.

    The most common reason for not wanting to explore a fresh perspective of our past is because we need those doubts and fears to convince us never to expose ourselves to such experiences again.

    It’s got nothing to do with questioning our abilities, and everything to do with avoiding disappointment or pain. Because while we may know without a doubt that we’re capable of achieving something great, we’ll avoid even attempting it because of the possibility of the devastation of it being rejected or taken for granted by others.

    Don’t entertain the devil, and don’t surrender to your demons.

    Life awaits.

    Photo credit :Adobe Stock


  • Be purposeful

    Be purposeful

    Be the one who acts with purpose and conviction, and leave greatness to take care of itself.

    The moment you’re focused on who you’re attracting, or how you appear to others, you’re distracted from your purpose.

    Be purposeful. And connect with the value of who you are and what you wish to create in the lives of those around you.

    The rest will find its own balance.

    And the need for control will disappear as you learn to trust in the benefit of living purposefully and with conviction.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Perspective rules

    Perspective rules

    Perspective defines our reality.

    Taking the worst from an experience doesn’t diminish the good that it contains. It simply denies us the benefit that is waiting to be experienced.

    The opposite being true too. Focusing on the benefit reduces the impact of the bad that we experienced.

    Maintaining a healthy balance between the two keeps us grounded. Going to either extreme leaves us flighty and whimsical, or burdened and morbid about the future.

    Moderation is key, and maintaining a practical perspective rather than one influenced by fear significantly reduces the stress that we experience in life.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock


  • Contaminating the self

    Contaminating the self

    Self-worth is contaminated when we try to define it by the way we think others perceive us.

    Whether their perception is correct or not is irrelevant.

    The fact that their perception has more sway over our self-worth than our perception of ourselves is what determines the difference between a healthy self esteem, and an unhealthy one.

    Many struggle to connect with who they are in the absence of an external voice validating them.

    That external voice is not always aware of the validation that they provide because the one in need of such validation invests themselves in inspiring others to feel accomplished and amazing. [This is important!]

    When that investment is not well received, or is credited to someone other than the one making the investment, the self esteem of the investor is destroyed.

    That’s how we lose ourselves to servitude. We lose sight of our ability to serve, and become defined by how our service is appreciated, or rejected.

    Thus, are arrogant ones created. Arrogance being nothing more than a proclamation of the good in us that we need others to acknowledge.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Sabotaging destiny

    Sabotaging destiny

    There are so many memes encouraging gut feelings and instincts to drive or decisions about how to treat others.

    I wish there would be more making us aware of what creates that feeling in our gut to begin with.

    The emotion most commonly experienced as a physical sensation is that of fear. And fear, more than anywhere else in our bodies, is experienced in our gut or in our chest. Both physical centres associated with a gut feeling.

    That tightness, that churning, or the uneasiness we feel that spreads up to our chest and shortens our breath. Gripping fear is more common than butterflies of excitement.

    So when we trust our gut blindly, we project our past experiences on the present moment. We use past experiences with people that treated us badly to make assumptions about the motives of people who are trying to connect with us now.

    That’s how we lose the present moment or sabotage good opportunities because we look for signs that they’re the same as those who came before them, rather than seeing them for who they are. Any positive attributes we see are easily dismissed out of fear of those hints that suggest that they’re just a facade because of something that reminded us of a past hurt or betrayal, or worse.

    When we honour without question our emotions in that moment of fear or stress, we stop being mindful about our emotional state in the current experience. This prevents us from determining if our instinct is correct or not.

    We must be willing to test our instinct if we hope to avoid becoming presumptuous about others, both positively or negatively.

    Except for gratitude, everything else requires moderation to avoid the harms of excess. And following our instincts blindly causes as much harm as the good that it offers.

    Be balanced. Be mindful. Seek to understand your emotions rather than to surrender to it so that you don’t abandon reason in favour of fear.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Choose better

    Choose better

    We choose what we take from life.

    Understanding those choices is therefore key to finding peace, or joy.

    Our choices, even though sometimes painful, are always based on good intentions in that moment of choosing.

    But, when that good intention is driven by a need to establish our significance rather than connect with the value that we want to create, our choices become understandably poorly informed.

    Once again, understanding why we were distracted enough will add sweetness to our hindsight.

    Looking back on our unpleasant experiences with understanding rather than judgement helps us to find peace where we currently may only find pain.

    Seeking to understand is what disarms the bitterness of betrayed expectations and replaces it with the peace of acceptance.

    If you’re struggling to reconcile your past in your efforts to create a better future, reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183. Together, we can create the life that you’ve always wanted.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Don’t look the other way

    Don’t look the other way

    Those who oppress others are often the first to draw attention to the weakness or inadequacy of those that they oppress.

    They do this to pacify their conscience so that they can avoid the guilt of treating others poorly.

    The reason why judgement works well in such cases, for both the abuser and the abused, is because it creates distance between us and our contribution towards that oppression, and therefore allows us a comfortable space in which to abdicate responsibility in doing something about it.

    When we judge, we assume that the abused has options or resources that they are aware of without finding a need to connect with them, or to directly assist them.

    Judgement is also kinder to the abuser because it inevitably focuses on creating excuses for their rage or self loathing.

    It’s through judgement that we most often enable such despicable behaviour while maintaining a comfortable distance.

    If the abused are left to fend for themselves because we don’t want to meddle, we become part of the problem.

    If nothing else, at least call out abuse for what it is when you see it. And if it’s become normalised in the life of the abuser or the abused, then take time to make them aware of why it needs to stop.

    Abuse is never constrained to just the relationship in which it prevails. It is a poison that destroys the innocence in society, leading to social ills that inevitably find their way into the lives of those you love, despite you not wanting to meddle in someone else’s business.

    Speak out against abuse. If you don’t cease the hand of the abuser, you enable their behaviour. That makes you complicit in their vile actions.

    If you’re trying to break the cycle of abuse in your life, reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183 and let’s create the positive change that you deserve in your life.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock