Don’t look the other way

Those who oppress others are often the first to draw attention to the weakness or inadequacy of those that they oppress.

They do this to pacify their conscience so that they can avoid the guilt of treating others poorly.

The reason why judgement works well in such cases, for both the abuser and the abused, is because it creates distance between our contribution towards that oppression, and therefore allows us a comfortable space in which to abdicate responsibility in doing something about it.

When we judge, we assume that the abused has options or resources that they are aware of without finding a need to connect with them, or to directly assist them.

Judgement is also kinder to the abuser because it inevitably focuses on creating excuses for their rage or self loathing.

It’s through judgement that we most often enable such despicable behaviour while maintaining a comfortable distance.

If the abused are left to fend for themselves because we don’t want to meddle, we become part of the problem.

If nothing else, at least call out abuse for what it is when you see it. And if it’s become normalised in the life of the abuser or the abused, then take time to make them aware of why it needs to stop.

Abuse is never constrained to just the relationship in which it prevails. It is a poison that destroys the innocence in society, leading to social ills that inevitably find their way into the lives of those you love, despite you not wanting to meddle in someone else’s business.

Speak out against abuse. If you don’t cease the hand of the abuser, you enable their behaviour. That makes you complicit in their vile actions.

If you’re trying to break the cycle of abuse in your life, reach out via my website at zaidismail.com or on WhatsApp at +27836599183 and let’s create the positive change that you deserve in your life.

Photo credit : Adobe Stock

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