Tag: foreverincomplete

  • Enabling our oppressors

    Enabling our oppressors

    We only give others permission to disrespect us when we disrespect ourselves first.

    Disrespect of the self takes many shapes and forms including compromising our values for personal gain, accepting abuse from fear of abandonment, restraining our contribution from fear of rejection, and more.

    When treating ourselves with disrespect becomes the norm, accepting disrespect becomes the theme of our lives.

    Reclaiming our space in relationships with significant others then becomes a struggle, because without realising it, we gave them permission to treat us badly.

    Of course, the fact that they may have taken up the opportunity to treat us badly confirms their disrespect for themselves as well.

    And that’s how we end up in relationships where respect is optional, and being together becomes a matter of convenience that we justify in many ways, including doing it for the children, not wanting to be seen as a failure, nor wanting to return to our parent’s home and bringing shame to them, not wanting to be alone, and more.

    That’s when life becomes empty, and joy is replaced with bitterness. Break that cycle before it breaks you, because when you’re broken, you become a liability to this world, rather than a blessing.

    And this world has enough social liabilities already. Please be better than that. You deserve it, and so does everyone around you.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Know your place

    Know your place

    The value of knowing your place is underrated.

    So many impose themselves in the hope of acceptance, only to question the sincerity of the company they keep when they eventually earn that acceptance.

    Sometimes, we only discover our place after having invested in relationships that were never intent on embracing us the way we embraced them.

    Sometimes, those relationships are with those for whom we sacrificed much to see them grow.

    And sometimes, it’s in uplifting total strangers who became friends and then abandoned us when we posed a threat to their popularity.

    Whatever it is that came before that moment, accept with grace and dignity your place when they reveal their true selves.

    Worse than losing time in spaces where you’re not appreciated is losing your dignity and self respect.

    And both, dignity and self respect are yours to claim. It’s not something that must be endowed upon you by anyone else

    Claim yours before you lose it completely.

  • Why wait?

    Why wait?

    The most common distraction that prevents us from reaching our goals is waiting for others to take responsibility for our wounds.

    I’m not saying that they may not be responsible for the betrayal or the hurtful way in which they treated us. No.

    What I’m saying is that waiting for them to own their contribution towards our state is a waste of life.

    Whose life? Yours! Your life is wasted away with every moment that you put your life on hold because you need someone else to step up and be better towards you, or to appreciate or respect you.

    It’s OK to leave a space open for them to occupy in your life. But it’s not OK to demand that they fill that space.

    The moment you demand such investment from them, you taint the sincerity with which they show up in your life, and you create a burden where once there was an opportunity for peace.

    And the reason we do this is simple. We do it because we hope that when they realise how significant they are to us, we may grow to be more significant to them.

    That’s how we lose ourselves while waiting for others to make us feel better about what they did to us, or what we need from them.

    Life is too short to spend it waiting for better days. Own your life, and allow others to own theirs. And if that results in a beautiful space being created between you two, then cherish it.

    And if not, then cherish the opportunity to create space for the right person to fill that space in your life instead.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • An Incomplete Love Story – Author’s note

    An Incomplete Love Story – Author’s note

    A note from the author for my novel, An Incomplete Love Story

    This story was inspired by true events.

    Some, my own but many based on incidents that I witnessed in the colourful domains of my life.

    It is a story of an often-overlooked community.

    Caught at the intersection of cultural pride while fighting for relevance in a rapidly evolving world, the South African Muslim Indian community is replete with prejudices from religious, political, and cultural influences.

    Good intentions rarely paved the pathway to heaven. But, understanding those intentions in the face of the carnage that the resulting actions impose on the innocents is what breathes life into a decaying soul.

    It is this that motivated me to write this novel.

    That is, my hope to draw attention towards the contamination of the good by the misguided prejudices of a sincere but deeply flawed community.

    ~ Zaid.


  • To give up silently

    To give up silently

    “When you give up on something, it becomes a weighty silence that you carry within you for the rest of your life.

    It’s a quiet acceptance that what once was the centre of your being will never be a part of your being again.

    The silence is the only gesture that will honour such loss, such surrender.

    And when anyone asks, if they even know to ask, all you can muster as a response is a sheepish grin and an involuntary shrug, hoping to appear nonchalant enough to hide the pain and the shame that you struggled with in the tortured darkness all those lonely, distraught nights.

    That’s how the light fades, and the dullness replaces the enthusiasm that once defined your spirit.

    Only, there’s no one looking close enough to notice. So your shame remains safe, and your heart, incomplete.”

    Another excerpt from the manuscript threatening to bleed out of my heart and onto the keyboard.

    From the sequel to my novel, this is a piece that may make it into my next novel titled, Taqdeer: A dance with destiny.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • Protect your dream

    Protect your dream

    How often do you hold yourself back while waiting for someone else to believe in you first?

    When venturing into a new domain, or taking that bravely bold step to reinvent yourself, don’t be disheartened when you find that those you thought closest to you do not support you.

    Those closest to us are invested in the version of who they know us to be, and therefore find it difficult to appreciate the vision that we may have for ourselves if that vision is a revolution of who we are, rather than a gentle evolution of who they want us to be.

    Sadly, this is often true for many in our circle of significant others. Be they family or lifelong friends, sometimes our goals are a threat to their low self-esteem.

    If you don’t connect with authenticity and sincerity to the value of what you want to create in your life, you will be easily deterred by the doubts or objections of others.

    You are the only person that will ever create your legacy. Let that legacy be one of courage and conviction in leaving this world in a better state than it was before you arrived.

    Maintaining the status quo may keep the peace with family and friends, but it will leave you with storms of incompleteness in your soul that no one will ever be able to pacify.

    Beloved. Be bold. Be brave. Be purposeful. And never sell yourself short to appease the meek.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • The present moment

    The present moment

    There is one thing more desolate than hopelessness. It’s the absence of expectations.

    Hope only hurts when we still expect things to turn out differently, or still want it to be more.

    When we give up hope, and we surrender our expectations, we’re left with nothing but the present moment.

    The past fades as a hallucination often does.

    The future ceases to exist.

    And all we have is a choice to do something with the moment we’re in.

    But what is there to do with it if hope and expectations have both left?

    With no bitterness to create anger, and no love to create hope, what value does the present moment hold?

    I believe that it is in such moments that we face the brutality or the beauty of our true nature.

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock

  • This is going to hurt

    This is going to hurt

    Another excerpt from a manuscript slowly taking shape in my head. From the sequel to my novel, this is Taqdeer: A dance with destiny.

    In this scene, the main character, Zayd, once more finds himself faced with the betrayal of one close to him, but it’s not enough to deter him from remaining defiant against the odds.

    “Eventually, I get tired of dodging the bullet and instead I stand, square-shouldered, facing the onslaught with eyes wide open, my heart gently ticking away in my chest, waiting for what I always knew was inevitable. Knowing that it will hit me hard, but defiantly standing there waiting to see exactly how hard it’s going to hit.”

    Will his love story ever be completed? Or is life only ever meant to be an exercise in fulfilling duty towards those who have rights over him?

    Photo credit : Adobe Stock